@wisteria100, we stopped traveling for the holidays to be with my parents after a few years with our kids where her present volume was completely bonkers. It was easier to manage because she couldn’t really ship 30 presents each. We just visited at a different time of year.
When the gifts were inappropriate without a gift receipt or tag, eventually I just stopped saying anything and started sending them straight on to Goodwill when we got home.
My D ordered a pair of boots that wouldn’t get here in time so she sent them to Grandma’s house. Grandma, my MIL, called on the 23rd all excited that a big box from Amazon had come and it must be the boots.
But the box seemed light. And when she opened it there was a lot of packaging but no boots. “They sent an empty box!” she declared. But she looked around a bit more and found a much, much smaller box hiding in the packaging and that box contained - a fruitcake! It was from her niece. Oh, what a sucky thing to find in a big box!
So my evil mind decided to bring our own tiny fruitcake. The one that’s been sitting around for almost a year, getting extra aged. I’ll put it in a big, big box and watch her laugh.
I love fruitcake.
^^@greenwitch has one she can send you, aged like a fine wine. 
My daughter is 19. I realized today she hasn’t bought me a gift since she was four and on a vacation with her grandparents. Nor has she bought anyone else in our family a gift. We’ve raised an entitled brat, I’m afraid.
@Emsmom1 …you are not alone. Neither of my boys bought us anything either. But my oldest bought his GF parents something when he found out they were getting his something. We do get birthday gifts from them, so I guess that’s good. But I would think when they are sitting around opening hundreds of dollars of gifts from their parents, they might feel a little ashamed to not have anything. But I guess not. We’ve raised entitled brats, too. They are 24 and 21.
My own big rant…I’m having foot surgery in a month and my MIL knows it and bought me a DSW giftcard.
We are on vacation and instead of heading 2 hrs north to our next destination, we all (we are with family) had to head 2 hrs south to see a relative who couldnt travel (and today we drive 4 hrs north to get to our original destination). The relative here said she’d put us up in a hotel. I suggested she pick one close/nearest to her since she cant travel easily.Well, she took me literally and put us in the closes place. It’s … a dump. Glad we are heading out shortly.
@conmama hang onto that DSW card. Everyone I know who has had foot surgery has also needed some new shoes. Maybe that’s what your MIL was thinking!
Both my sons give us gifts. Sometimes for both of us, sometimes a gift just for one of us. I especially like the “experience” gifts they give us – tickets to something, or a gift certificate for a restaurant. They are thoughtful people.
I am married to a gifting-challenged H, so I always keep my expectations low and give him detailed gift wish lists. He hit a home run this year, gathering some things I asked for, plus an unexpected tablet that will be so useful for upcoming travels.
My children gave me super meaningful gifts, and we had a relaxing day together. So glad to not have a Scrooge moment to share this year! (But, unfortunately, I do have those “I only got a frying pan from my spouse” Christmas memories.)
Not necessarily. At 19, she doesn’t have her own money. She can’t really give you a gift. She can only take some of the money you give her for college expenses and send it back to you in the form of something you might not even want.
My kids never gave gifts until they were working and could truly buy a gift. Now that they’re fully independent adults, my husband and I get gifts from both of them every year. They also give gifts to an aunt who always gets them something. I’m not sure, though, whether they get anything for each other. That’s their business.
Our son has been making us awesome meals from start to finish for years. He looks in the fridge and sees what we have. If we need something else, he will buy it…he DID have a part time job in college.
But really…his sweat equity was his gift.
Our DD doesn’t have two dimes to rub together at this point…but she thought of gifts she could DO for us…very thoughtful.
My point being…these college students don’t have to spend money on your gifts…they can give “doing” gifts.
For the poster above whole DD hasn’t given a gift since age 4…I say…why? There are so many things that can be offered that don’t cost money. When pir kids were younger, they would make coupon books that we could redeem during the year…for tasks we might not want to do ourselves. Sometimes they made homemade ornaments. They always gave us a little something…and still do. When younger, my DH helped them with something for me…and I helped with something for him. Nothing fancy, ,sometimes just a card they made…but it was something.
Anyway…back to our holiday here. We will celebrate our holiday on Friday morning when all of us are here. I know DH bought “us” a new TV.
Today, I’m buying him a new stove griddle. I’m sure he will love it!
^ 
When I was a kid, my dad would stop each Christmas at the junk store across from the train station and get a Christmas pin for each of “his girls”-- my mom, my sisters and me. As the family expanded, it included my sister in law, my nieces and so on. His last Christmas, he was probably buying a dozen or so pins.
I kept them; they’re a little piece of Dad each Christmas.
A few years ago, my husband informed my now 19-year old son that it would be nice for him to pick up the tradition. So now he gets me one each year. It’s not expensive-- probably in the $10-$15 range-- but I treasure it. This year’s was a snowflake.
I agree with @thumper1 re: teens and college students giving gifts. Many do have some income, from summer jobs and part-time school year work. Or they can go the homemade route. Or save up part of their allowance if they get one. Despite griping about the wine earlier, I’m fortunate that my immediate family has learned to be good gift givers. It doesn’t have to be expensive IMO. My college student doesn’t have much money but made food gifts that meant more because they were homemade and attractively packaged. That’s love. And also gave books to us that probably only cost $10-15 but were tailored to our interests.
If your kids are in their late teens or in their twenties and don’t have good gifting game, I highly suggest you talk to them about it and set some expectations for the future. Consider it preparation for their own romantic partnerships and marriages so they won’t wind up being talked about on a list like this down the road for being a crappy gift giving spouse.
Almost forgot. My office manager was very thoughtful and gave me a gift to bring to our brand new granddaughter. It is a curious George monkey that is dressed in red , emblazoned with “babies first christmas”. The baby loves it. We are Jewish (and yes my office manager knows this). We are all getting a smile out of this.
Here’s the thing though. D’S, 24, is extremely generous with his GF. I don’t really say anything because he does everything we ask of him, and is generally a good son. But still…i think he needs to do it, but I don’t want to ask for a gift for Xmas. @thumper1 , you don’t know my MIL. it’s just her crappy little way. But the joke is on her, because I’ll be wearing a medical boot for awhile. To balance it out, if like a pair of low heeled boots to wear. I was told you need a little height to walk normally. Then I’ll have them for next year.
I’m not a gift person. But it dawned on me, yesterday, that I would be over the moon if either of my kids wrote me a loving note, saying nice things about me, or saying how much I mean to them. Not sure it will ever happen, but a girl can dream!
When my kids were little, we took them to the Dollar Store and gave each of them a list… and let them shop. Each bought each person on their list a gift they thought the receiver would enjoy. It came from the heart, if not the wallet. (One year my son got my sister a bungee cord. She has a boat, and has always sworn it was one of her best gifts ever!)
As they grew older and earned their own money, we paid for less. So this year both my 17 and 19 year olds paid for their own gifts-- both have had the same jobs since they were 14. My 14 year old has a job lined up for next summer, but we financed her gifts this year. All were in the $15-$20 range; her whole list cost me about $100.
Becoming a gift giver, like so many other things, must be taught… if not at age 9, then certainly at age 19.