I think (or actually know) it’s completely possible not to be able to swing full pay at 250K income.
At 250K, in our metro , take home pay would be at about 158K
The Family Budget Calculator for the Economic Policy Institute estimates a baseline modest standard of living for a family of 4 in our metro as almost 100K per year. The housing allowance on that budget allows just over $1000 a month. That is a modest 2 bedroom apartment in a dicey area at best or you’re driving 90+ minutes.
Add 10K to housing for a 3 bedroom <2000 sq ft house at less than a 30 minute commute. Add 10K to employer supplied health insurance that is ever decreasing. Add 10K over on the taxes because your property taxes are above average on a modest 3 bedroom home in a safe community with decent schools/associated insurance/etc. Add in say 5K kid’s extracurriculars. Add 3K because your kid has food allergies and your food shopping is complicated.
We’re now at 138K. Your overage on your take home pay is about 20K.
This does not include savings for emergencies, retirement, college.
Now imagine you had your own heavy college debt because you weren’t mentored well and maybe have a struggling aging parent in the picture and couldn’t establish saving early enough for your own kids. It doesn’t take too long to get to where suddenly someone is taking out loans for their kid to attend a state school.
Anyway - this is not our situation. My kid had decent options and will graduate debt free. Crossing fingers for kid #2. But no, could not afford being full pay. I think people imaging those in this situation are living a champagne and caviar lifestyle while their kids are steered toward a cheap ill fitting college. I’m not saying there aren’t people out there making that choice. But I don’t think it’s as straight forward as some posters here like to portray it. I think the vast majority of parents are doing the best they can with the resources they have available to them. College pricing has FAR outpaced inflation.