I guess all I can say to some of the questions is … I will find a way. I always have. That’s really my best answer right now. Pay down some debt to open cash-flow. Eat out less. Sell a newer car for an older one. Find a higher paying job. Have my kid take on a little more debt if they want it that badly.
My younger two DDs are doing significantly better in HS than DD1, which keeps me optimistic. They also do not have some of the social anxiety issues that are limiting DD1 to schools in this very expensive northeast area. They would be more than happy to travel to the midwest, or south, or west for a great merit+school net cost situation.
As for someone else who asked, Uconn is around 28K per year. After $5500 in stafford, plus perhaps another 5-10 in additional loans per year, we would probably have no issue affording that. The hard part is getting in 