I agree with the comments above about anxiety issues. The very best thing that a parent can do for a child IMHO is to allow them a chance to heal their anxiety or whatever other issues they may have before attending college. We did this through gap time. By gap time I don’t mean a gap year and the clock is ticking. I mean gap unrestricted TIME. Allow them time to understand that the world is a fairly benign place. They can get a job, be valued for their work, travel, volunteer, and discover in the process that whatever they can contribute is sufficient. It’s okay if they make a mistake. And once they get home at night, the time is theirs. They hopefully will understand that there’s more to life beyond school school school and the pressure that often entails.
I say this as a parent who has a child in gap limbo currently. This child we knew as a sophomore in HS that continuing straight into college was not a good idea. Not that s/he wasn’t smart and capable academically but the timing just wasn’t right. The anxiety level was way too high. We are 2.5 years into this gap period and this child is now thriving: Calm. Confident. Has traveled and supported self for an entire year doing whatever jobs s/he could find. This was not easy. None of it was, for parents or child, but the result thus far is great. Every so often this child sees others progressing through college, including sibs and says: I should be going to college! We remind this child to slow it down; this isn’t a race; this child is gaining skills and insights that those attending college don’t have yet – and s/he is not “behind” at all because of that. Child has real jobs and real skills. When s/he’s ready for college then, sure, s/he will know it.
How will we know? When the child strides confidently in that direction–Not randomly going to college because s/he “should” go but because s/he has a solid, confident purpose that’s pulling him/her forward. When s/he is ready to study and looks forward to classes, that’s a great sign. Currently when this child says “I should be in college!” I test the waters by asking gently, “Okay, so maybe take a course at the community college and try it out.” Child then says: I don’t know" and otherwise hedges. S/he is not ready. There’s all of the time in the world.
If you consider gap time for your child you may want to look into the path for nontraditional students. There are plenty of opportunities for nontrads. They opportunities differ school by school. Excellent programs are available for students starting college later than their cohort.