There is a very good chance that is going to be us, or something like that. Trying out best, but really only those who had steady (and significant) extra income AFTER saving for retirement - for most of their careers - were able to sock away college savings.
As far as just how far we can bend … I really can’t honestly answer that. There are people who are far more organized than I am who are able to do that, who are strict budget experts. For all I know we may be able to afford 3-4K per month, if we trade in a newer car (and its payment) for a rust bucket, if we cancel LTD insurance, stop eating out entirely, maybe even raid the large retirement fund a little in a pinch. Home equity line of credit, etc.
So without really knowing for sure what we can afford, I am just looking for very good deals. UCONN is a very good deal for those who live here ($13,500 tuition), and you get a 40K tuition level education. UMaine is no where close to UCONN, but they do match the price for CT kids. Seton Hall sent us a letter talking about us being a potential 84K merit candidate (I doubt it, but they also offered free application fee so why not try).