First, thanks to moderator for the New Discussion topic, which clearly sets out the three basics for us (wife, daughter and me): 300K for elite LACs vs. 75K for in-state flagship vs. ?K if we can identify more “good” schools awarding merit.
I especially appreciated the advice about offering a budget to the child(ren), to make it her/their choice how much to spend on undergrad, grad, or later. That’s exactly what I was thinking. And it looks as though it’s working well for your two, with in-state flagship and full-ride scholarship, excellent! It’s difficult to imagine our saying to our daughter: let’s spend $300,000 on the “best” college, but after that, you are on your own for graduate school, law school or whatever. At age 22, you are “free” to rack up debts that can burden you for decades. If it’s entirely my judgment, based on what I know so far, I would rather see her get a quality education at the in-state flagship and have $200,000 for later.
The comments about the elite LACs seem to me on the mark. If she wants to be on Wall Street, understood. My daughter doesn’t know what she wants to do yet. So far though, it seems more likely she may be protesting against Wall Street 
I know there’s some positives for the $300K LACs other than the prestige element that may help open the doors to some endeavors, beyond Wall Street. There’s low faculty-student ratios, for example. That could be helpful, inspiring her in whatever direction. But I don’t know whether it’s worth four times the cost of the in-state flagship that has large lecture halls for some classes and a reasonable offering of smaller classes. Other pricey LAC attributes aren’t worth four times the cost, not for me anyway. Many buildings at the pricey LACs look great, the campuses are extremely attractive, the meal plans delicious, etc., but a country club isn’t what we want to pay for.
The comment that “people make these judgments all the time” is on the mark. Seems to me the ultimate question is whether a pricey LAC is more of an expenditure or an investment. Maybe it’s an investment up to a certain level, e.g., a BA from in-state flagship, and a discretionary expense at the $300,000 level. My wife and I have been far from lavish on expenses. For example, we chose cars costing around $25,000 even though we could have afforded transportation sticker-priced at two, three or four times that amount. We don’t need something flashy or prestigious. We are always looking for good value, for a worthwhile investment.
If a “name” school costs two or three times the cost of the in-state flagship, it might be a good value. At something like FOUR times the cost of the in-state flagship, I begin to shake my head. Or my head spins. Someone commented: "75k vs 300k maybe for the super rich . . . . " I agree, and we are not super rich, although we are fortunate to be more financially secure than 90something percent of the U.S. population (and getting to that version of “rich” wasn’t easy). We are not in the circles of the rich and feel no need to claim our daughter’s attendance at a school that has prestige as the main part of its $300,000 price. We want to help her on a good path for whatever she may decide. If we end up spending $300,000, we will do ok, retirement security not jeopardized. But it’s not as though $300,000 won’t be missed. My wife and daughter did go to see Hamilton recently-- I think a friend found the tickets discounted, and we paid in the low three figures, well short of the four figures that anyone truly rich may have paid a few years ago. It’s an extravagance we rarely indulge in. That may give some idea of how we assess the decision ahead.
Regarding not counting on admission at the pricey colleges, yes, acknowledged. Those with 5-10% admission rates are not sure things, entirely understood. From what I can tell, the odds are fair to good, at various colleges on the evolving list. She only has to be accepted at ONE of the (very) selective schools for this discussion to be relevant.
If she is admitted nowhere except the safety (x2), that would resolve the $300,000 question; it will be decided for us. That might be a relief, in a odd sort of way. It’s great to hear from all. Many thoughtful and experienced viewpoints.