Great perspectives, blossom, thank you, helps to focus my thoughts further.
As rosered notes, it’s quite uncertain whether my daughter may go to grad school (or law school), or in what field. On the one hand, that uncertainty tends to add to the case for saving $200,000+ by going to the in-state flagship. (Wish it was Michigan, Virginia or Berkeley. Somewhat below those in general reputation though respectable in many/all areas.) When an “undecided” decides later, there’s $200,000 in the bank.
But if my daughter (like most 17-year-olds probably) isn’t presently sure of what she may do later, I can still see a case for the $300,000 college, for SOME of the $300,000 colleges. That is, for the highest-quality-all-around academic environment, if she is admitted. I totally agree, we’re not going to pay for our daughter to get near the ski slopes or anything like that. The honors college at our in-state flagship-- I think she has a strong chance of admission to it-- would leave very ample $ available for recreational activities, near or far.
The only social network I’d like to see her in is with other young people who are academically-focused (maybe even “nerds”-- as she sees and calls herself, having read voraciously from an early age . . . her friends are like-minded students at her public high school). The “party” schools haven’t been on our list from the start, but I’ve gotten a sense even from some of the pricey LACs that they may not be especially focused, first and foremost, on academic quality. So some are off the list. Deeper dives needed, but my bias is against colleges that have waived all core requirements (or created very flexible “distribution” requirements with an anything-goes tinge).
Bottom line: if paying $300,000, I want to be sure the college is very high on academic rigor. That should be front and center in the school’s culture and ethos.