Clearly DH and I chose to enable our kids to pursue their passions (paying tuition, etc.), but I also clearly remember when I realized how few of my theatre co-workers could afford houses when nearly all of our non-theatre friends had reached that stage in their lives. I admit that contributed to my decision to switch careers, so I certainly won’t think our D is “giving up” if she ever decides she prefers a different lifestyle.
I liked the quote from the recent Kate Schindle interview…
I think there is NOTHING wrong with changing directions. So many adults do that at some point in their lives pertaining to their careers, and not just actors!
I must admit, I can’t fathom my MT kid leaving the performing arts field, but never say never, and she is only 26. If she did, I’d be fine with it. So far, I see no indication of her remotely contemplating doing that. But she is young, doesn’t have kids yet, who knows. It hasn’t delayed her from getting married to another actor! Some people really do stick with the field for life. It may not be an easy life, but someone’s gotta do it!
We do have a few friends from our theatre days who stayed in the industry, but almost all of those moved into areas other than full-time performing… often teaching, managing theatres, writing and/or directing. I do know a couple people in their 60s who still perform, but they won’t have as many options (financially) in their later lives as I would want. Clearly Meryl Streep isn’t among my acquaintances. 
I ponder changing careers sometimes- I think most people do, it’s not unique to people in the arts 
D is not pursuing theatre now because she realized the lifestyle was not a match for her personality and goals right now. But she doesn’t regret studying MT and has worked in entertainment related jobs. I think she sees herself establishing her business career and swinging back to performing. Her type will probably lend itself to more roles as she ages. Whether this happens or not, who knows? But she has the background and the connections to try to make it happen if she wants. It can be full time, par time, professional or not. But I’m happy I helped provide her with an education that makes several paths possible.
Beyond the five years - our high school math teacher was an actor for years, did well, lived with his wife in NYC, no problem. Then they had a kid and everything changed. He didn’t want to travel which was occasionally required, or do summer stock, or leave the house at very early hours for very long days, etc. He got his teaching degree and is a fantastic math teacher. That was his choice.
We have another friend who waited to have a kid until a bit later (around 35), had an established career and was able to take her kid to work with her (Broadway show) when he was young. He slept and played in her dressing room. She stayed in this role a bit too long (according to my daughter’s agent) but it worked for her family lifestyle. As he aged it was a bit difficult since it’s hard to get up for morning school activities when you go to bed around 1:00AM, but she managed and obviously he no longer joined her at the theatre. The dad took over many areas which killed her. She then did a bunch of other theatrical things like Disney animated films which made her a superstar to the kids. Once he left for college she began traveling all over the world performing. She was able to modify her career goals to include raising a family. Not exactly the route she would have thought she was going to take, but priorities changed and she slowed down, some say forfeited her big star status, and now is a huge star in her “new” field. I do believe she misses Broadway though because she was at a theatre company’s fundraiser with us and she was all over the Creative Director, politely and with humor, about finding a play that would have a part in it for her.
Different choices at different times in your life, not too different from other people in other fields.
Another reminder that even folks who have enjoyed a great deal of success don’t often find steady work on Broadway was a quote in the Nice Work Playbill in which Mathew Broderick talked about how hard it was for him to find projects to work on.
I honestly think that most kids, not just theater kids, will have to hustle a lot more to have a career than we did. Actors may be at the extreme end of things, having to get 5-6 separate jobs per year to stay busy (if they are so lucky), but many parts of our economy are moving to an on-demand model that requires that almost everyone be pitching themselves all time time. Theater kids will be good at that. I see it in my son already.
^^^While I think that is true, there is still the issue I see with actors because the majority of performance jobs are short term, whereas in other sectors, typically if you get a job, it lasts at least a year. While nothing seems secure these days, I still think that my actor kid is constantly having to piece her year together with various gigs and such and it never ends, whereas my other kid, also a professional (out of school) but in another field, isn’t job hunting as often and has job contracts that last longer than my acting kid.
Here’s an example…both daughters are in the midst of planning their weddings a year from now. Obviously, dates and venues must be set. We sorta joke (but it is a real thing), what if MT daughter is cast in a show and we never know for sure what she’ll be doing a year from now. Hard to plan, and you gotta commit to your own wedding date! She has now set the date…a Sunday night (tells me even if in a show, Sunday nights often don’t have a performance!! LOL) and we know she is in a show that ends three weeks before the wedding. After that, who knows? Other D won’t have that issue with her job and planning her wedding date. But she also has to figure her wedding date around her sister’s show schedule! That has already been discussed!
Well it is a challenge for sure. Would be hard for my d to commit to a summer gig next July as she is bridesmaid in one of her oldest best friend’s weddings.
Academia is another challenging situation. My older d with an MFA in a different artistic area (I know 2 in the arts!!!) saw herself in academia. Her field is a challenging one to find tenure track positions and she has lived the life of an adjunct in which for the grand sum of $4000 a class you have to be on pins and needles to see if there will be enough students to have your class or what class you might be offered relative to your other jobs and working around it and commuting on top of that. She took a job instead in the museum world. She enjoys what she does, has good benefits but 5 years post-grad school still makes under $50,000. Her boyfriend also is post-grad, so he mostly has only been able to find part-time project and leave replacement positions in his field, sometimes well paid but with zero benefits. They have a small one-bedroom in a walk-up that they pay $1900 for.
I agree with the above poster that it is certainly a different world and a different path for sure.
I think all the posters mentioning the difficulty of planning life events and family vacations with an MT grad in the family are making a great point! Even only a couple months in to this post-college life our extended family is already feeling the implications of that.
In addition to all of the usual casting uncertainties, we’re already seeing how often cast members are called off onto other projects mid-stream, causing huge last-minute ripples in the theatre community. Plus there is the scheduling uncertainty of extensions which may or may not happen on any given contract.
It’s always something.
@MomCares yes, while nobody can know for sure their future schedules, I find this even more challenging with an actor. They really can’t predict what they may be doing in a few months or certainly in one year (though the next 12 months have been laid out for my kid, it so happens, but it is not always that way). So, if you want to plan certain things or with family, it can be difficult or at least not predictable.
Family vacation you say? I haven’t been able to do that in many years. In fact on the last try, four years ago, my MT kid had to back out when she was cast in something. Another time, my MT daughter was going to join her sister on a trip to South America, but then she backed out when…she got cast in something. I took her place (though it was great for me!). One Thanksgiving, my MT was in a show in NYC that was performing on Thanksgiving and so rather than come home, we all had to go to NYC to do Thanksgiving. That’s why I was half-kidding, with a dose of reality when I said to her, “I hope you can make your OWN wedding!!” It’s a year away. I hope it all works out in terms of her schedule which I find hard to predict in advance. ;
Here’s something NOT to do 5 years out- or ever. D was updating her resume for fall auditions (which start tomorrow) and decided to look at some examples. She checked out websites/resumes online from some people she has worked with in the past…and found that a recent graduate, from a well known (and popular on cc) program spelled the name of their college wrong 3x (out of maybe a dozen) on their resume. Ouch…
Another thing that has started to hit me (and which I should have realized long before D graduated) is that as parents of a working MT you either have to plan to spend a lot of vacation time and budget traveling to see your kid’s shows (or if they’re touring hope their tour finally comes near your town), unless you happen to live near their place if work or are willing to miss all their shows. Not to mention paying for increasingly expensive tickets. I’m thinking the parents of math teachers don’t have to worry about that.
Trying to become a tenured professor is a horrible experience, possibly worse than that of an actor.
When my daughter was in 9th or 10th grade she was cast as the lead in a spot where the second day of shooting was on the first night of Passover. The whole creative team kept apologizing to each other but it was what it had to be. They swore we’d be done before sundown. Fortunately we’re not that religious but it was a bit of a family snafu especially since I had to be there with her (she was under 16) and we had an exchange student staying with us, so my niece stopped by, gathered my younger daughter and the exchange student, squeezed everyone into her car and drove to my sister’s. My daughter and I made it after the Seder but before dessert. Oh well.
Another time my daughter was cast in the final episode of The Sopranos, how exciting!!! Unfortunately, the taping date kept changing until they called while we were on our way to the airport for vacation. I felt awful, but what could we do, it was too late. This one still hurts.
An actor can always “book out” if they have something important, just not too often. And there are slower times depending on which medium they are mostly working in. For the first few years though, it’s best to be around as much as possible.
@amtc brings up another thing I’m just starting to really grasp. Unlike most professions, when an actor books out a block of vacation time with their agent, not only are they unpaid during the vacation but they also miss auditions, which can result in downstream holes in their schedule. D is already witnessing this firsthand (she’s cramming a lot of learning into these first couple months… hah!).
Well, booking out is possible to do with your agent…meaning you are not available for auditions. But the issue I was bringing up earlier is when already cast in shows and particularly when these take up a good part of the year…inevitable conflicts with real life will happen…and my bigger point was that it is hard to plan some real life events when jobs in this field are not long term and you don’t know for sure what you may be doing in the coming year at any given point in time, in terms of work, not auditioning.
A side point is that since one is piecing together short term projects, there are also inevitable conflicts. My D has had to turn down a couple things this coming year due to the conflicts that overlapped.
So true. And while it’s flattering to be wanted, it is also incredibly frustrating when you have to turn down a 4 month contract due to a 3 day schedule overlap, yet D recently had to do exactly that. Being an independent contractor has its glamour and also its frustrations I suppose.
And that is the life of an actor. Conflicts are a part of any freelancers career. Family conflicts become a question of priorities. They may be more pronounced with actors, but they occur in most careers.
My parents were professors/teachers, so I grew up with predictable vacation schedules, but as a young engineering manager I distinctly remember the VP I reported to telling me he always had his wife schedule 3 different vacation dates in the hope that he could be available for one. He also missed his daughter’s wedding. I had different priorities. 