@curiousme2 , when one is dealing with family, when one is looking at what is likely, even possible to become a protracted issue with bad feelings all around, those things need to be taken into situation. When a parent remarries, it changes things all around. The financial picture, particularly inheritances, unless covered by a well designed prenup can change altogether.
You are fortunate in that you are able and willing to support your children with college and that you were not counting on your father’s financial assistance. Given the info you have shared, he was not likely to be able to be of much financial assistance to your family anyways. In fact, in such scenarios, ones parents end up wanting/needing financial assistance from their offspring.
Family gets complicated anyways. I’ve seen fraud committed, crimes committed in assets stolen, etc within family, and the fallout of pursuing a lot of those incidents just not worth the stress of process and consequences. Those things should be taken well into consideration. There are great advantages to taking the high road.
I wish you the best in handling this, and your children’s college years. I’m glad you have the outlook you are showing.