Then show them what you think and don’t go there.
OP- big hug. This is surely a frustrating and anger-inducing situation and I applaud you for keeping your cool.
Two suggestions for you:
1- Have a phone call with your grandparents. Don’t ambush them, and don’t take the tone of “woe is me”. But they are clearly invested in your mom and your family, and possibly have the resources to help you out of your jam. Calmly walk them through the financial angle- The college costs X per year, the current gap between the tuition bill and the aid they are providing is Y, the incredibly, fabulous, wonderful gift they sent your mom is going to pay the gap for Freshman year for which you are so grateful. However, in planning for years 2, 3 and 4- the result of the gift means no more aid (or potentially no more aid), and you and your mom can’t bridge the gap between the tuition and your resources. If they offer to help again for subsequent years-- and they’ve shown historically that they are good for it- I’d pay your Freshman bill with the money they wired to your mom and go forward. Sounds like a risk worth taking. You’ll apply for aid again for the subsequent years- probably won’t get it given the grandparent contribution, but if they seem willing to be on the hook for four years… they are your grandparents after all. And your sister is out of college, you’ll be out of the house, your mom will cut corners where she can financially-- you’ll work- the dollars may all come together with the grandparent supplement.
2- Send your dad a letter. Not an email, not an AIM, not a skype. But an old-fashioned letter. If you can’t find his address with some googling, you can get his work address from the medical licensing board of the state he’s practicing in. Every physician in America who is seeing patients can be found- trust me. Your dad may be a worthless father and provider, but he’s still your dad, and it’s partially his DNA that you got you as far as you’ve gone in life. Outline your predicament in a nice, straightforward way. You’ve gotten into X and are set to go. The gap between your mom’s resources and financial aid is X and you are appealing to him for help.
Doesn’t hurt, doesn’t cost you.
Big hug.
Btw, let’s not confuse the NCP, noncustodial parent- and the info he did provide- with the NCP waiver request. Also, OP needs more than 12k (that’s the ‘grant.’)
OP, first question we tell kids to ask is what their parent/s can afford. Then run the NPCs to see what the various colleges would offer. Then make app decisions. Could your mother split the 75k over 4 years and pay 37k? Or she hopes to pay zero?
We’re cycling back to this because you need to come up with a solution. If your grandparents can pay the full 4-year bill, fine. If they can only contribute that first gift or some smaller annual amount, how will you cover the rest of the costs?
I don’t see paying 69k for freshman year, then having zip left. If she has 50k left next year, yes, it will count as an asset (and as Thumper said, probably more than 6% will be assessed.)
But no matter what they assess, how will she pay the rest of the balance due?
This is where your logic fails. You do not “have to” pay $57k a year to get a college education.
Yes, the situation with your father and his high income sucks, but as others have pointed out, you are hardly unique in this regard.
If your grandparents cannot contribute enough money to cover the gap for all four years at this school, you need to look at a lower cost alternative.
I get the impression that the father does not live in the US; otherwise, how could he get out of paying child support and not have his 200k+ income not included in the calculation of the OP’s FA award? If he was in the US, the commitment to pay for college, as spelled out in the divorce settlement, could be enforced. If the father cannot pay because he is broke or has no income, then it should not hinder the OP from getting FA.
I also get the impression that the grandparents are also not in the US, or at least their bank is not. People in the US typically do not wire money to family members in the US; they tend to write a check.
Non-Americans living overseas can easily hide their money from US eyes.
Harvard, et al, are not Stanford. Families who earn ~$150k don’t get to attend for free. If you got a $12k/year need based grant, you were offered the generous aid your college is known for; and if you lose $5-6k/year of it because your mom has a $75k asset, that’s just how their generous aid policy works. The more assets you have, the less aid you get. I understand you don’t like their policy. But why should the college treat you differently than any other family in your mom’s income bracket who has similar assets? They know that if your mom can’t or won’t pay, someone else on the waitlist will.
Your mom can either afford to pay $57k/year or she can’t. If the college reduces the grant by $5-6k/year, she’ll have to decide whether or not she wants to cosign another $20k in loans in addition to the $20k you’re borrowing now. If you can graduate from this elite school with $40k in loans (only $13k more than the federal student loans), that’s not terrible. But it sounds like your mom would have to be able to pay a full third of her gross income for that to happen. Don’t plan on the college ignoring the asset. Budget as if they don’t. If your mom can afford to pay for it, great. If not, you may want to consider some of the other great schools who would give you guaranteed merit for your stats.
Did your mom not make provisions for your college education in the divorce? Is your father not required to pay something?
Yes, it is not right that your mom should have to pay for your education alone. It is nice that the grandparents are helping your mom. But I agree, what about the remaining 3 years? Will your mom be able to pay, are the grandparents going to help pay?
If the grandparents gifted the money to your mom then I don’t think it is your asset but it can still affect aid because if your mom pays for first semester then there would be over $40k left by the time FAFSA and CSS profile is filed in October, unless you pay for second semester before filing aid forms for next school year.
And your job earnings from 2016 will also factor in for school year 2018/19.
Although your efc seems impossibly high to pay out of your moms $150k income, colleges expect that families will pay their efc as a combination of current earnings (your moms salary, your salary, etc), past earnings (savings), and future earnings (loans). If those past and present$$ don’t exist, you need to figure out your financial reality, and it is good you are working on that.
Many students are in your position, with a sudden jump in family income after making a lower salary for years, or have parents who can’t/won’t pay anything toward College costs. I have 2 high stats kids who were not able to apply to top tier schools due to financial constraints and instead went to an excellent school which gave them huge merit. Try to let go of your bitterness about the financial aid process, it stinks for many students (for the majority, I think, for a variety of reasons) and you need to deal with your results, as disappointing as they seem.
You definitely need to map out a 4 year plan to pay for Stanford, including getting commitments from your mom and grandparents of what that can they realistically contribute each year. As previously suggested, it would not hurt anything to try and get a contribution from your dad.
Also try to get the big financial picture from your mom. Is she putting the family’s financial future at risk to send you to your dream school, because she does not want to disappoint you or other family members, friends, etc? Will these college bills adversely affect her ability to retire, maintain her home, have an emergency fund for a job loss, medical or other unexpected expenses?
I am currently watching my own retired mother in law struggle financially, largely the result of using up her savings, along with taking out huge home equity loans to send her two youngest children to expensive private colleges. It is all too easy for a parent to get into a precarious financial position in order to fulfill their child’s dreams.
Others might not agree with this, but if you were given money as a present like for your birthday would you report it? Probably not. A gift is a gift and I don’t think it is really necessary to report as 1. Your grandparents already paid taxes on it and 2. it was a gift, kids get really expensive cars etc. for their birthday every year but don’t report it.
It doesn’t make you a bad person. Kids also get jobs etc. to help pay for college so I don’t see how it’s any different then deciding to get a job to help pay for college after you see how much aid you get. Both are getting money after applying.
Maybe high school seniors should stay out of the legal discussions. ^
f you were given money as a present like for your birthday would you report it? Probably not. A gift is a gift and I don’t think it is really necessary to report as 1.
Actually, in the world of financial aid, a student who is given a gift by a non-custodial parent is required to report it on the FAFSA. If the current FAFSA is already on file, it will be reported on the next FAFSA. There is a question that is asked, and students must answer it truthfully. If there is some way to get around it in a way that would mean it wouldn’t have to be reported- others have suggested some possibilities, focusing on the money not actually being given to the student at this time - that is one thing. Omitting it is another (and I’ll call it what it is … lying).
Many, many, many, many students have to say no to schools because they can’t afford them. The idea that anyone who is awesome enough to be admitted to one of the most elite schools in the country should be able to afford it is a nice thought. But the truth is, that school IS saying you can afford it, based on a formula they have developed, which they believe is fair. So they did meet your need … you are the one who feels you can’t afford it, not the school. Like I said (and others have said), it’s not at all unusual.
@PrimeMeridian mthe OP,stated that his father DID complete the NCP profile after the OP sent him the link to do so. The OP did not request a NCP waiver from THIS college, and was denied one at another college.
I did not get the impression that the father lived abroad. It sounds like the mom never pursued legal routes tomget that child support…and she should have. But really…that’s something that doesn’t matter anymore anyway as child support ends in most states at age 18.
The OP needs to look at the post by Blossom upstream. Make a genuine appeal to the grandparents, and father.
But I would add…have a Plan B in case they say NO.
The current college might be the best thing since sliced bread…but it is not affordable with ONLY the mom contributing.
Even if the $75k gift were not considered in your future FA determinations, you still only have enough money to afford two years of college. I’m thinking this:
Per year:
$12k – grant
$15k – mom out of pocket from current income
$5k – your own earnings
$37 – from grandparents’ gift
$69k total
Thus, you have two tasks:
- Figure out a legal way for the $75 not to be considered in your future financial aid determinations.
- Figure out how to pay for years three and four.
This is a BAD idea - it makes a gift to the student again. Assets or income belonging ot the student (and bills paid on a student’s behalf is income) are assessed more heavily in the financial aid formula.
If it’s the mom’s asset, it will be assessed between 5 and 6 percent (i.e. EFC will go down by between 5 or 6 percent of whatever is left of the 75K at the time the FAFSA and PROFILE are filed.
The only way to completely hide the money is to simply not receive it. Have grandpa save the money in an account where student is beneficiary if grandpa dies (just in case). When student files last financial aid form for senior year, grandpa can give a gift. (In the meantime, student would need to find private student loans or some other icky means of financing this school.)
I don’t know why the OP shouldn’t receive the money now- since without it, there’s no way to pay the tuition. Gift freely given- gratefully received. Presumably the intention was that the OP was going to use it to pay for college- which in fact, is what the money is going to be used for.
Grandpa likely didn’t understand or doesn’t care that the gift throws off the expected financial aid grants for years 2, 3 and 4. But that’s academic. Without the gift for year 1, OP can’t pay the bill (which presumably is due next week). So year 1 is taken care of. Years 2 3 and 4 are the issue.
I maintain that Dad is still the Dad. So try to repair some bridges there (and if G’pa’s gift goes to pay tuition right now, OP has a full year to build that bridge). Gparents for subsequent years are Plan B. Unless the gift represents the sum total of their liquid assets (which of course is possible), they may be willing to help. And a combination of loans, belt tightening by mom, working by OP to bridge the gap if that’s mathematically possible.
But there’s no benefit to g’pa delaying the gift for the kids final year- there IS no final year with that scenario- since tuition is due ASAP and OP doesn’t have the money (unless I’ve misread the entire scenario which is also possible).
I wish I had this problem of not being able to know what to do with all the money my family has
Agree with Blossom. The issue is how to fund years 2, 3, and 4.
Meantime, if OP does know what his mother can afford, he/she hasn’t said. And we should let OP know he isn’t the first to come on CC and explain that, despite a large salary, Mom apparently has expenses (often discretionary) that eat it up. We know it’s tough, but the colleges don’t adjust to a high mortgage, consumer debt, lifestyle choices. They expect the families to.
Is there also work study and the student contribution from summer earnings?
I have to agree with the OP. $57,000 a year is a LOT for his mom to pay alone…unless she has some significant college savings…and that does not sound like it is the case.
The $75,000 gift from the grandparents will pay for one year of the total costs.
Where is the REST of the money to pay for this college going to come from? Where?
Unless there is some money machine someplace, this college is not affordable. And to the OP…there are others who have been in your shoes…accepted to a college with insufficient financial aid to attend.
You received your acceptance in April, and committed to this school by May 1. It is August 12, and you are trying to resolve this before your bill is due?