9th grader drowning academically, what to do?

Parents Forum
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<p>Please don’t do this! Try working with the GC and teachers first. I agree that your son may qualify for a 504 but you certainly don’t need a lawyer to get one. It should be a relatively straightforward process. Also…you don’t want the reputation of being one of “those” parents unless it is necessary. </p>

<p>Your S is only a freshman and these grades are likely inconsequential (and can be explained). Please focus on his Health first and foremost( as it sounds like you are doing) and worry about academics when he is ready.</p>

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<p>I explained that consulting a lawyer does not have to be adversarial. It is a way to get ideas for solving the administrative problems schools often have in dealing with chronic health issues. It is up to the family whether to even mention the appointment. Our school appreciated that we presented solutions.</p>

<p>I only wish we had gone earlier.</p>

<p>I am not “one of those parents.” In fact, the school respected me enough to ask me to chair a superintendent search. We have worked collegially toward better health and education for my child for 20 years.</p>

<p>It is clear to me that the guidance counselor and school have little understanding of their obligation to the child here, and it can be difficult for a lone parent to get through to then,</p>

<p>Furthermore, it is clear that the parent needs some education on the child’s rights.</p>

<p>We chose what to enforce, but only after knowing what was possible. We never insisted on tutoring and did a good part of the academic help ourselves. The school appreciated our meeting them in the middle and even hired me to mediate with another parent.</p>

<p>I stand by my suggestion in this case.</p>

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<p>I have started and deleted my post several times but, like compmom, I found the school to be conveniently 'ignorant; on what they had to provide for a sick child. The first time my sick kid came home from the hospital and actually asked to use the accommodation on the 504, the school tried to pull the 504 because a few teachers complained about having to give the accommodations. I shelved the meeting and ended up talking to the nurse who turned the whole thing around. </p>

<p>I would start with figuring out what a sick kid needs-- whether that’s with an attorney, an advocacy group for the illness (some even have the information online) or a book-- and then get a doctor to back me up in writing, get copies to the nurse and approach the school for a 504 meeting.</p>

<p>My kid never got academic help or tutoring from the school. All of this was just for accommodations (primarily extra time to make-up the work missed since kiddo didn’t come back 100% healthy). But honors teachers at the school aren’t used to giving accommodations (other than primarily extended time) and complained that it wasn’t ‘fair’ to other kids.</p>

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<p>Compmom, it sounds like in your case the lawyer was necessary. I can’t for the life of me however, understand how the school could not come up with a way to help your child. I do not know your situation so I would not want to pass judgement as to wether a lawyer was necessary or not. </p>

<p>If the OP has not tried working with the system yet, then a lawyer would be adversarial (even with the purest intentions). The parent would not automatically get respect from the school, they would be seen as litigious and difficult. So this is a case where I think it would be wise for the parents to pick their battles.</p>

<p>Btw…why can’t a parent ask the school what their rights are in terms of a 504? Why must a lawyer explain it to them (especially when it is all posted on the interent). Do you automatically assume the school is the adversary? I think they could be in a lot of legal hot water if they were to give the parent misinformation. </p>

<p>If all the proper channels have been gone through and the resolution is not satisfactory, then I might advise consulting a lawyer. Until then, it is easier to to place nice.</p>

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<p>2college…so sad this was your experience as well as compmom. It really is unacceptable. I don’t think that teachers can legally decide they don’t feel like following the 504. And shame on administration for not following up and enforcing policy. This would be a time to get a lawyer.</p>

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<p>Limewine, no, teachers can’t decide they don’t want to follow a 504. That’s why the school called a 504 meeting to take away the 504: because then the teachers wouldn’t be held to it. </p>

<p>The two factors which made them keep the 504 was: 1- the involvement of the nurse and 2- the realization that I had a pretty good court case since one of the doctors’ notes I had given the school after kiddo’s first hospitalization that semester actually warned that if kiddo didn’t have the accommodations, kiddo would relapse. And that’s exactly what happened: within a couple of months of this, kiddo relapsed and ended up back in the hospital the same semester. </p>

<p>Anyway, that’s all in the past. It did result in some low grades that semester and kiddo or guidance counselor attached an explanation but I don’t think it affected admissions.</p>

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<p>The school, even the nicest school, is not going to be the best source of info about 504 rights! In fact, we write our own 504 and have them sign it. We love our school. I am not being negative. Kids with certain needs can cause both financial and administrative burdens and it is the school administration’s job to keep those down to a minimum for the benefit of the majority, if they can.</p>

<p>Resources online pertaining to a particular condition can help, fellow parents can help, and the federal dept. of education’s office for civil rights (again, a call to them is not necessarily adversarial at all). In our state, there is a Federation for Children with Special Needs. I think, however, as I have said already, that I learned the most about how to deal with my child’s particular conditions by spending one hour with a lawyer at $150.</p>

<p>We had a long history of working with the school for this particular child. In fact, the school went to town meeting to get money for an extra nurse when she entered kindergarten. My dealings with them in elementary school ranged from doing a one person sit in in the office demanding extra nurse time (when they almost lost her at school), to finding them a large Public Health grant myself. </p>

<p>By high school a couple of other conditions were added to the first one that complicated things and involved surgeries as well. I again want to emphasize that even with a school that is completely well-intentioned, and a principal dedicated to the particular child’s well-being, the school staff can have a lot of trouble figuring out how to meet that child’s needed (and legal) requirements. Even when they understand that accommodations merely level the playing field and are completely fair.</p>

<p>Add to that scenario teachers and principal and GC who do NOT get that there are rights or that the rights are fair, and you have a long journey ahead that may or may not end in time to help the child while still in that school!</p>

<p>A small example: if a middle schooler is out due to chronic illness and misses a test, but studied hard, she will come in when she can and want to take it. By that time, the test is in some drawer, and the teacher, who has several classes and needs a break, has a hard time being present for the test or finding someone who can be present. In fact, the student cannot even find the teacher. The office promises to tell the teacher the student wants to take the test. The student studies yet again and returns to school the next day and the teacher still cannot find the test or is too busy. The student ends up studying 5 times for the test, and finally the parent has to ask the principal to find the test and get a staff person to sit with the student. (End result in her plan was that tests were sent home.)</p>

<p>Multiply this many times and you have more ill will accumulated than 10 hours with a lawyer. And still no clear cut way to deal with even this one small issue.</p>

<p>Schools are self-protective institutions and having a child with needs forces parents to stick their toes into the school’s business. Not a good thing. Better to have a plan that keeps the boundaries clear.</p>

<p>Every parent reading this has a different situation. Some kids can’t do work at all if they are severely ill. Some kids can work part of the day because their illness fluctuates; some may be sick for a month but fine for six. Some kids work well independently and others need the daily prodding of teachers, grades, and parents. So there is no way to generalize here. Meeting with an advocate can help tailor the plan to that child, and will give the school clear directions for meeting their responsibility, without undue burden on anyone.</p>

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<p>Just want to say again that the parents don’t have to say anything about consulting a lawyer. Or, and this is what I like to do, you can say, in a meeting, that you “got some great ideas from a lawyer” with a big smile, liken you really want to help. Works great.</p>

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<p>Compmom, it sounds like you definitely needed legal counsel in the case of your child. It also sounds like the case was probably more complicated than average. Your child deserved accommodations and was lucky to have such a great advocate.</p>

<p>What I’m trying to say is that not all schools, GC’s, or administrators are that naive of the laws relating to 504’s. I just think the OP should try to work with them first. Most people do not need a lawyer. An average size high schools deals with 100’s of 504’s. Even if you don’t think their mission is to help every child you can agree that they would want to avoid costly lawsuits. It is in their best interest to follow the law. I do agree there are times however, when a parent needs to question inappropriate accommodations and a lawyer may be exactly what is needed.</p>

<p>Dropping “lawyer hints” when no solution has even been tried is, IMO, not the best approach. Why create bad feelings if it is not necessary?</p>

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<p>That’s what I like to do when I don’t agree with a prescription (or diagnosis) from my Dr. It makes for a really great relationship and I’m sure I get top notch care!</p>

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<p>Limewine, this is a common strategy that parents in SPED PAC’s and other organizations joke about frequently. If you haven’t been there, refrain from sarcasm please.</p>

<p>The idea that anyone would do that in a doctor’s office is ludicrous and your bringing it up is just plain nasty.</p>

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<p>All I am saying is that it shouldn’t be the FIRST resort. Why must everyone (even jokingly as you say) throw around lawyering up?</p>

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<p>If a parent needs education and support before deciding on an approach, then an hour with a lawyer can save years of trouble for everyone. It doesn’t have to be adversarial. It can be informative and clarifying.</p>

<p>My school was very anxious to help but needed guidance on how, and welcomed the advice.</p>

<p>End of discussion for me.</p>

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<p>Hi everyone!</p>

<p>Thanks for all the input. He does have a 504 although there’s been disagreement with the school about how it’s supposed to be implemented, so we’re in the process of figuring out what to do about that. One of the things that’s been really frustrating about this process has been not know when he’s going to be back. There have been a couple of times when I’ve been confident enough that we’ve figured things out that I’ve stupidly sent emails that say things like “he’s coming back tomorrow”, only to have him wake up with new symptoms that made school impossible. At the team meeting we had his English teacher basically accused me of lying and said that if I’d just decide when he was going to be out and let them know in advance . . . . Luckily his Biology teacher jumped to my defense before I could even open my mouth saying “Do you really think she doesn’t wish she could?” Ironically, but not surprisingly, the same English teacher didn’t provide any of the assignments when he was out for scheduled surgery. </p>

<p>He’s getting a new English teacher after exams, and we’ll see. It’s possible that we’ve found a array of medical solutions and the absences will stop. If the medical issues continue, then I’ll definitely consider a lawyer. I’m a special educator so I know how the system works, but I think I need the “title” to back me up. We’ll also reconvene to rewrite the 504 to be less vague. </p>

<p>CuriousKid threw a wrench in my plans by telling me he really really doesn’t want to drop Arabic. He likes the teacher, and likes the language, and also doesn’t want to be the only sophomore taking a Level 1 language in a school where the norm is to start a language in 6th grade and many Sophomores are in Level 5. He proposed dropping his sport to give him more time after school. So, we found a tutor, and somehow I’ll find the money, and we’ll give it a try. I think we’ll make a final decision after we see the exam grade.</p>

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<p>Sorry to hear about the nasty English teacher but glad to hear your son is getting a new one next semester. I’m just wondering if the school can somehow help pay for the tutoring or arrange for the Arabic teacher to work with him one on one. Schools can pay their teachers an hourly rate to compensate the teacher for the extra time. I also know in some districts they will pay for a homeschool teacher when there is a medical issue.</p>

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<p>The school brought up the issue of a homeschool tutor, but because of the erratic nature of his absences it doesn’t seem like it’s going to work, because we can’t anticipate the absences. So, we can’t arrange for a tutor on Wednesday because I don’t know if he’ll be in school on Wednesday. </p>

<p>One thing that complicates this is that the Arabic teacher is split between two high schools, so he can’t go see her afterschool. The school offers lots of options for tutoring for kids who take Spanish, but not for other languages.</p>

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<p>It can be helpful to consult with a lawyer, not because you need to have the lawyer actively intervene, initially but because schools are not eager to provide the services needed. Sometimes anything that doesn’t fit into a box doesn’t get done without working at it. And you need to know what your rights are, what the procedures are to pursue those rights and what right you have to appeal if the school is resistant. There may be some ways to find these things out other than visiting with a lawyer but consulting an attorney is one option. If you know what to ask the school administrators to do (in a polite and cooperative spriit), you can pursue what is best for your child. You do not have to bring the lawyer into the mix unless the school refuses or is reluctant to fulfill its duties to your child.</p>

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<p>I will describe what our school ended up doing for our child. The plan was suggested by a lawyer in a private meeting, but was greatly improved by the principal (I will explain). Neither the school nor our family could figure out a plan that worked because of the complicated logistics of non-consecutive absences, partial days, missing assignments and grades and so on. The only reason we mentioned the lawyer was that it was necessary to describe the source of the plan. Our child was in school with major health problems from age 5 to 15 without our seeing a lawyer (though we certainly had to advocate, sometimes in situations that were actually life-threatening). However, when our child’s situation included being in and out of school, or mostly out, and she was still trying to keep up (the situation described by Curious Jane), we DID need to consult a lawyer. NOT because we were angry, or the school was being obstructive but because we needed IDEAS. Perhaps there is another way, yes, and I was only suggesting this because it worked for us and made everything so easy and so so helped our child (as well as the school). Oh, and this was during high school.</p>

<p>So, every day, at the beginning of the school day, the school nurse went to each of our child’s teachers and gave them a sheet of paper with questions. The questions included “What work was done in class today?”, “What homework was assigned today?”, “Please attach any class materials or notes,” “Please note any missing grades as of today,” and,. as we worked this out, “Please attach any quizzed or tests given.” Eventually even exams were done at home: the school trusted me as a proctor. </p>

<p>The biggest problem was notes from class. For a few days a SPED person who was an aide in the class took notes, but that was against the union rules and job description of the SPED person because a 504 is not under SPED. We compromised so that for the most part, our child contacted friends for notes, but the school allowed the friend to use the office copy machine.</p>

<p>Anyone who has had a child out of school for a week or more knows how hard it can be to keep track of work assigned or missed, and teachers are usually too busy to keep track as well. It is hard to explain the value of the “missing grades” part of the sheet unless you have experienced this, or any of the other logistical nightmares of school absences due to ongoing or chronic illness for a child who loves to learn and wants to keep up.</p>

<p>Initially, the teachers just could not remember to fill these sheets out. Or, rather, they could not remember to notice whether my child was in class or absent. We did not get angry about this, but it was a problem to be solved. The principal’s wonderful innovation was to have the teachers fill out the sheets and attach everything whether our child was there or not! We did not foresee the beauty of this. This meant that there was no administrative hassle in our child going in and out of school as she needed. She could stay home all day, or go up for one class, or go up for one class, come home, rest, and go up for another. This actually ended up maximizing attendance and participation in school life.</p>

<p>Anyway, at the end of every day, the school nurse collected the package of question sheet, notes, class materials and quizzes/tests and if our child was out, I, or my other child, picked them up. If she was there at the end of the day, my daughter picked them up.</p>

<p>The school had a policy that students needed to be in school all day to participate in extracurriculars. Our child loved both theater and music. I talked with the principal and he agreed that this part of social and emotional development was important. Our child was allowed to participate in plays or music performances even if she was not at school. One memorable time, she played in a pit band for a school musical. She lay on the floor at the back of the auditorium due to pain and fatigue, but got up and joined the band for pieces in which she had a part.</p>

<p>This spirit of accommodation has continued through college with obvious differences because college is structured differently. She graduates this month after taking a little longer than classmates, but perhaps enjoying it more.</p>

<p>We could not have solved this without the help of an excellent lawyer whom the school also appreciated. An educational consultant might also help, or even the federal civil rights folks at the dept. of education. You can also google a lot of information. If this were a different kind of problem, I would not have suggested a lawyer, since we went 10 years without. I simply know full well how complicated an ongoing illness can be to handle both for a motivated student and for the teachers who may want to help but have busy days with hundreds of students. And yes, if you have to mention a lawyer, you can do it with a smile.</p>

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<p>The school will likely give you what they think is the right answer, but honestly the people who work at the school are not legal professionals. Why would you consult an educator to advise you on a legal issue?</p>

<p>A consultation with a lawyer does not need to mean that you are suing the school. The school doesn’t even need to be aware that the parents consulted a lawyer.</p>

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<p>CuriousJane:</p>

<p>Is it possible to arrange for a tutor on a weekly basis? For instance if he is not able to attend school on Monday then you could arrange tutors for that week. If it turns out he can attend the next Monday then you assume he will be able to attend for the whole week?</p>

<p>I think you need to override his request to stay in Arabic. If the school will allow him to withdraw he should do so and try again. It’s the nature of the class that once you are behind it is nearly impossible to catch up. It is a class where he does not have prior background like he would with math or history. As a result he does not have the ability to just learn what he needs from the book. I think that you need to explain that he has not had the experience of the average student so he won’t necessarily have the classes of the average student.</p>