<p>I’m really tired of these sorts of editorials. I am sure that there are some kids & parents who fit the stereotype, but there certainly is no “trend”. And I’m tired of seeing frequent contact via cell phone & text messaging being equated with hovering & helicopter parenting. My kids – like so many others of this generation – were day care babies, diapered and potty-trained by hired caretakers – my older son spent his middle school years as a latch-key kid. No one was worrying about parental hovering then – instead it was seen as borderline neglect, and the newspaper articles bemoaned the fate of generation raised among strangers, predicting all sorts of gloom and doom until in the end it turned out that the kids at the day care center turned out just like all the other kids. </p>
<p>At least in my family, the cell-phone and text-messaging allowed my daughter much more freedom, much earlier. She could stay out later at night and go more places on her own at age 14 because I knew I could always reach her by phone. At 16 she was living abroad and we were text messaging on a daily basis-- overly dependent? I think not – the cell phone and the internet simply provide her parents with the reassurance needed to allow her greater rein in her explorations. </p>
<p>My own kids have traveled on their own more and have more real-world work experience than I did at their age – and I am sure they are not the only ones. But I suppose you can’t sell newpapers with articles about all the kids who are managing things so well on their own.</p>
<p>Well said, Calmom. Can I persuade you to post on the thread about how much time we spend with our kids? When not hovering over our kids we seem to be depriving them of our valuable presence. Can’t have it both ways…</p>
<p>I don’t know where that thread is, sorry. (Does that tag me as a hopelessly neglectful parent?) </p>
<p>I literally have to make appointments to see my own daughter, even though technically she doesn’t move away for another 6 weeks. She just is never home!</p>
<p>Rap - most of the lyrics are pretty cookie cutter, yes. However, if you want some lyrically and rhythmically nuanced, take a look at Talib Kweli. </p>
<p>Maybe he derives his unique style (at least in the rap world) from his parents - “his parents were both college professors: his mother an English professor, his father a sociology professor” (Wikipedia).</p>
<p>I definitely think there are a lot of helicopter parents today - having not been alive for previous generations I can’t really comment on them. :p</p>
<p>But I also think that a lot of kids have more smarts and are more independent and self-sufficient than they’re given credit for. After all, just because a parent attempts to overprotect a kid doesn’t mean it’s going to work - didn’t teens of previous generations find ways to circumvent their parents? And even some of the most overprotected ones…once they’re on their own, they learn. They get used to it. A lot of them are actually very eager to become more self-sufficient.</p>
<p>“…more smarts and are more independent and self-sufficient than they’re given credit for.”</p>
<p>I agree Jessiehl. My kids constantly amaze me at what they are able to handle on their own—things I didn’t feel comfortable with until much older. For instance, my youngest (19), is purchasing a “new” car. I sat back and watched him deal with several different middle aged men at dealerships with confidence and he brokered a deal that I know my H. would never have gotten. He went in fully informed on all facts—wholesale price, dealer costs, resale prices, recent auction prices, demand for model, etc. Think some of these guys were surprised!</p>
<p>I can even notice the huge difference between the way I was raised as a child, and the way my sister is raised as a child (12 years difference). Disciplinary actions between me and my brother vs. my sister are quite different. For me, if I threw a fit I often saw the belt or hand “spankings”. My sister sees none of this, even when she does horrible things. She is also given more luxuries as a child than I was. I’m not jealous of this, for I was given everything I needed, it just shows how the new generations are being more pampered.</p>
<p>As for the “helicoptering parents”, it’s very true. I have to let my parents know where I am at all the time (not that I always tell them the truth), and some of my friends have to check in over the phone…even when they are at persay, a neighbor’s house. My parents don’t like me to stay out late, even when I don’t have a legal curfew, because of the “drunken nuts” that drive the road late at night. Or the typical, “we have work tomorrow so you can’t stay out late.” You can’t limit someone’s activity b/c of what could be out there. And I know for certain that my parent’s parents did not act like this. Kids these days need to be given more oppurtunities to be independent and need to learn how to fail so they know how to deal with failure.</p>
<p>The media didn’t hype up crime like they do now. In fact, crime is at its lowest since the 70’s. This is why I laugh when I hear people say “oh, we didn’t have to worry about crime and all that stuff back in my days!” Especially when I see the cases they had “back then” (Manson Family, Hillside Strangler, etc.).</p>
<p>When my kids were little, the media were all running with that “one million kids disappear a year” line, which had everyone barricading their doors in fear, and refusing to let their kids out of their sight. At the time, it struck me as patently silly, and was eventually shown to be just that.</p>
<p>I know I hear about this generation feeling entitled, no work ethic, etc., etc. However, when I think about some of the kids I know personally, this doesn’t fit at all. Look at what students do today in high school—play 1,2,or 3 varsity sports; AP and honors classes (none available previous generations); do hundreds of hours community service; work part-time; pursue other talents well beyond the community level; etc. As I was growing up, I knew no one that was as busy and involved and yes, even pressured, as the kids of this generation.</p>
<p>This article made me glad I’m not in college today and made me sad I only let my D sleep for 3 days when she got home in June!</p>
<p>I just ordered the Millenenials books. They’ll be on the book shelf next to Revivng Ophelia and The Rise and Fall of the American Teenager. Too bad I passed on the Dr. Barry Brazelton books to friends. When DDs co-write Mommy Dearest II, these books will be my defense.</p>
<p>Andrew,
Thanks for the link. I had never heard the term millenials. After reading that article, I truly appreciate my college experience of the 70’s—we were so much more laid back!</p>
<p>jessie, When they grew up from their adolescant years and worked 12 hours a day and still managed to find “projects” to pursue in their spare time. That definition perfectly fits my parents/grandparents along with many others I know.</p>
<p>I’m not sure how old you are, but I’m pretty sure your grandparents weren’t Gen X, and I doubt your parents were either unless you are somewhat younger than I think you are. Gen X started with those born in the mid-60s, right? Besides, I’m talking about generalizations and stereotypes here, and the Gen X one that I’ve always heard is that they’re lazy and anti-authority. Not that that’s any more true than any other generational label, but generational labels tend to define what a generation is “known as”.</p>
<p>I guess the biggest proof of this phenomenon is that all these parents are here on <em>collegeconfidential</em> doing college related research for their children. I believe I did my own research about colleges when I was applying 1 year ago, my parents just signed the appropriate forms.</p>
<p>This is from the Northwestern link. I have asked myself the same thing. For generations my family was upwardly mobile. My folks received their college degrees later in life. My sisters and I were all able to go to college right from high school, albeit on financial aid. My kids will be the first to go to college with an EFC of $0. While we have not exactly spoiled our kids (no ipods, no TV’s in the bedroom, “stuff” generally only received via Christmas/birthday gifts, allowances have to be earned, a used car projected at 16 but a job to pay for insurance and gas) they have gotten all of what they needed and much of what they wanted. Will they be able to reach the levels we did? Are they as motivated? Are we letting them be as motivated? </p>
<p>The Northwestern article was actually reasuring, in that these “catered” kids ARE working hard and thinking about their futures. The more I read, the more I am trying to step back and let my kids find themselves, and find out who they are and what they want. </p>
<p>I just hope those interviewed for the Northwestern piece don’t burn out. They are all surviving on so little sleep.</p>
(Does that tag me as a hopelessly neglectful parent?) </p>