I had DS17 when I was almost 49 - surprise pregnancy (after having his older brother when I was 43). He’s very healthy, and a joy to have around. I can’t imagine not having him, and I dread next year when he goes away to college.
Had my first at 40 and agree that the lack of healthy, mobile grandparents is a downside.
I am somewhat surprised to learn here that there are many mothers who had their first at a “not so young” age. I thought we had our first very late, at about 32.
I guess this is a “first world” phenomenon – likely because we can afford to, with the more advanced medical technology we have access to.
Mine were born pretty early: at 23 and 28 – it worked out well for us, but all families are different. It’s often considered insensitive to criticize older parents, and this is for good reason: they often make much greater effort and sacrifice to have their kids, and they are often much more mature, caring and nurturing parents. They don’t need to be told that their children may have been harmed, albeit unintentionally.
The article is done pretty well for a popular science writer. However, if you read it carefully, it states that this is just an unproven theory. I would not lose any sleep over it.
In 1986, I had my first child three months before turning 30, and my 2nd and last @ 33. It’s a good thing I didn’t put it off much longer because menopause was said and done by my 45th b-day. My D has always had somewhat of a fragile constitution, having been hospitalized twice before turning 6. As an adult also, she seems to pick up every virus going around, and has had two major medical challenges since graduating college. My son came along almost 4 yrs after she was born, but he’s always been very healthy. According to the premise of this article, shouldn’t he be the one prone to illnesses? I’ll take this hypothesis with a big block of salt.
32 is about average where I’m from. I would never think of 32 as old for first-time motherhood.
Just anecdotal from what I’ve seen but it seems the less educated, the younger the mother. I see lots of 18 to 22 yo mom’s with high school or less, and women with college degrees waiting until closer to 30.
“I am somewhat surprised to learn here that there are many mothers who had their first at a “not so young” age. I thought we had our first very late, at about 32.”
For an educated upper middle class population - which describes CC - late twenties / early thirties seem right on time, not old.
It’s important to not assume that people are “waiting until they’re older” to have children . For many it is not a choice . Infertility tx and assessment can take years before a woman can sustain a pregnancy
So true, carolinamom2boys - it took 9 years to have DS1. So DS2 was a big surprise.
@NYMomof2 6 years for first son with assistance of some great MDs and second son almost 3 years to the day later (surprise)
@carolinamom2boys - Great MDs for DS1 here, too - 2nd one is really a miracle.
I had mine at 27. I couldn’t have done it again 20 years later. Glad to have a child who will finish her bachelor’s degree by the time I turn 50.
My mother and father were both 41 when I was born. I was the sixth live birth (her 8th pregnancy). She gave up hope after me of producing a son for the priesthood (good Irish Catholic families always sent a son to the church.) Since she is almost 95, I take comfort that the article says “mother’s age at birth was one of the most significant non-external factors affecting how long a person lived, along with the mother’s lifespan.”
I had both kids before 30, and am glad to have done that. I do not have the energy to be parenting teenagers now!
I had mine at 27 and 29. I know many people my age with toddlers and grade school kids. I’m glad I’m not chasing a toddler running around right and happy as I enter my 50s I’m young enough to enjoy the empty nest and travel and still have plenty of time to save for retirement without college tuition as well.
We’ve had similar conversations before. I was 33 and 37 when my kids were born. The upside is that now that I am semi-retired, if/when I have grandkids (hopefully in the not too distant future) I have the flexibility to go visit them. My parents took my kids on some great trips when the kids were young. That was fabulous. My parents were almost 30 and 33 when I was born.
But, more importantly, why isn’t anyone talking about the potential problems of offspring of older fathers? There are several https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2015/10/27/men-have-biological-clocks-too-so-why-does-no-one-talk-about-them/
Our younger one benefitted greatly from us being much older. The older kid had no chance at opportunities that were available to the younger. The gap between our kids is great, so the older was out of the house when the younger was born. We have 2 “only” kids. Who would complain about her Med. School bill paid in full? I do not know anybody who would. We paid for our S’s college, but when D. decided to attend a Med. School, we told her not even consider the price when choosing it, we were ready to pay for any…and as it happened, she choose the most expensive of her 4 choices…and it was a perfect fit for her.
Going back, I just cannot see us paying for something like this in our younger ages. After all, we used combo of Equity loans / 401 withdrawals for that, which was not available to us at younger age.
That is the most recent accomplishment. Many many others included very expensive aspects of our younger kid’s life, expensive sport, other private lessons outside of school, the most expensive private school in our area, many fancy vacations, better house, multiple travels abroad to very far away exotic places, opportunities are endless when you are older and have much more resources to spend on your kid. And thinking about how busy we were in our younger ages, working full time, going to school at the same time. A lot of times, I had no idea where my S. was when I got home, I had to “collect” him somewhere. We just got very lucky that he did not get into huge trouble. And in addition, S. has been using his sister great academic success when raising his own kids. S. said that the great gap between him and his sis. and her great accomplishments was the biggest blessing for his family.
Mom was 22 when I was the second born and I was about the sickliest kid around. She was a grandma at 39, great grandma at 60. Back in the 1940s, she thought her parents were ancient because her dad was 32, mom 26 when she was born and all her friends had younger parents.
I wonder if it is cumulative in the matrilineal line, if the mitochondrial DNA is “older” in a kid with a young mother but older grandmother.
Our youngest turns 17 today and still has all four grandparents around with good memories of them as active people. In my book that’s better than a fancy vacation.