<p>Don’t worry about me guys, I just had class all day today so I didn’t have a chance to sulk much. Tomorrow I have relatively open though, so hopefully I can work up the courage at some point to go visit the counseling center. Thanks for all the kind words, I really appreciate everyone’s support!</p>
<p>You really should go right now. I’d guess that your counseling center is either always staffed or that there is someone available to talk to.</p>
<p>Did you get a chance to talk to anyone (socially) in class or at lunch?</p>
<p>Call counseling or e-mail them if you have a problem with just walking into the office. Keep us posted and I hope you pull through all this! :)</p>
<p>I want to echo everyone’s advice to visit the counseling center. I’m sure they see a lot of new students having trouble adjusting. They will probably have some good suggestions for you. </p>
<p>After that you really need to buy your textbooks so you don’t fall behind in your classes. Maybe you can order them on the internet and go pick them up at the bookstore. That would save you some time. Then you can take your books and sit in the lounge or library and be around other people. You can always read if you don’t end up talking to anyone. </p>
<p>Another possibility is that maybe you could ask for a switch from a single room to a double or triple. It might be cheaper and you wouldn’t be so isolated in your single. </p>
<p>Your honors program sounds very good. Please give it a chance and try to make the situation work. Even if you ultimately decide to transfer it will help you a lot to have good grades.</p>
<p>Call family, friends, counselors. You sound like you are having some mood disorders which are very common during college years. Take a deep breath, and seek some help. Maybe a term off to clear your head, think things out, counseling and meds will get you on a better track. Prayers to you and my best wishes.</p>
<p>I would’ve gone tonight, but I had a physics test to study for, and I can’t let my grades slip this early on. Hopefully I can do it tomorrow, though. I didn’t get a chance to talk to anyone, and I didn’t go to lunch, so today wasn’t exactly a pinnacle of success, but it wasn’t that bad, either.</p>
<p>I’ll probably run to the bookstore this weekend and buy the books I absolutely have to have, for the sake of academics. I wish I could switch so I’d have a roommate, but circumstances prevent it. The thing about the honors program, though, is that we don’t really accomplish anything–it’s just an excuse to treat kids who did well in high school like royalty. I don’t like the idea of going on these day trips to theme parks and the like, especially since I know I’ll just be wandering around by myself. I would much rather drop it for another, more academic class, but then I actually end up looking worse because I’m no longer an honors kid. Kind of a lose-lose situation, so I guess I’ll just stick with it because the reputation will help if I try to transfer.</p>
<p>A term off may end up being what I decide to do for the spring–either that or a small study abroad group. It would be sort of a mini fresh start, and my family never had the opportunity to travel when I was growing up, so I’d like to take advantage of that.</p>
<p>Thanks again for all your advice, everyone–I’ll keep you posted! Don’t worry on my behalf, though–things usually work themselves in my case.</p>
<p>Just going by your post you sound much better. My D is pretty social but she wouldn’t like the theme park trip either and would consider it a waste of time. Perhaps you can bring a book to read and find a shady spot to sit. There will probably be someone else going who doesn’t like theme parks. </p>
<p>Also, how about picking up some room decorations when you go to the bookstore. Or tear some pictures or cartoons out of a magazine to hang up. A picture or cartoon or something on your door will make for a good conversation starter with your neighbors. </p>
<p>You can always take a book or newspaper with you to read while you eat if you don’t have anyone to talk to. Or sit down next to someone else who is sitting alone. </p>
<p>You seem to be doing much better. Hopefully this weekend you can have some fun.</p>
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<p>Who’s expectations are you doing this for? It sounds like you are consumed by what other people think of you. Does other people’s opinions of you really matter that much? Who cares some people at your college or from high school think your weird, socially awkward, or not a success. If you need someone else’s judgment of yourself to feel good you are setting yourself up for a long life of trying to please others while you ignore your own desires.</p>
<p>My two cents.</p>
<p>I struggled with social anxiety during my college years. Extremely horrible experience. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. Please make time to go to the counseling center. It affected my grades something horrible, although I still managed to graduate cum laude. It affected my entire college experience, to the point where I had to drop a semester. I didn’t make friends. I spent my days crying and having panic attacks. Don’t let this get out of hand. It can very quickly.</p>
<p>One of the biggest sources of anxiety for those of us who struggle with social anxiety is our constant obsession with other people think about us. People had low expectations of me too because I struggled with anxiety all of my life and I was a total coward, and as a result I felt that I had to be perfect or else I was a total failure. Avoiding any situation where people may be critical of me was my goal. The measures I would go in order to avoid social situations made me look like a damn fool, and brought me more negative attention than if I had just been “normal” and made a goofy mistake or looked stupid.</p>
<p>But yeah, get help.</p>
<p>I think the same thing will happen to me. Like my only friend will be my roomate. My only out is that i will playing a college sport and im goign to try to request room with a team mate.</p>
<p>If i were you Id try to switch into a dorm room with a room mate next semester. If its cheaper, which I imagine it would be (maybe not im not in college) You can use that as an excuse so you dont have to bring any more grief into your life.</p>
<p>Good luck.</p>
<p>If I went to your school, I would be your friend.</p>
<p>I used to feel bad about myself (only a couple weeks ago) when I would be alone in my room on the computer or even studying if I heard a group of people outside having a good time going somewhere. But that wore off. A big difference from high school is that no one cares what you do (even in a small college). No one judges you for being alone in class, the hallway, the lunchroom, anywhere. They don’t laugh at you with their friends or consider you a nerd or loser. Many popular people don’t mind going to lunch alone, and that’s not because they plan to make a thousand new friends once they get there. Forget about high school. All you need to do is consider yourself more of a studier than a socialite, which is okay. You do plan to transfer after all. No one will think you’re weird unless you blatantly act weird or mean. You’ll make friends along the way. Everyone can make atleast a few friends over the months even without trying. The only thing you can do to have 0 friends is to lock yourself in your room all the time, which is what you’re doing now. Just go eat and join a club, don’t worry about being thought of as uncool, maybe you’ll meet other “uncool” people.</p>
<p>I really hope you overcome this. Btw if you still can’t go and eat at the cafeteria, you should at least do it later than the specific meal is usually scheduled (ie 6:30-8 for dinner instead of 5-6). At least in my school, barely anyone is eating there by then, and most of the kids still there do eat alone.</p>
<p>hi Upennite,
Have you seen a counselor yet? How are you doing these days?</p>
<p>Do you go to the Univ. of Penn?</p>
<p>I pretty much registered to post in this thread. I just wanted to say that I was just like you at the beginning of freshman year and now, after two weeks as a sophomore, I still have a grand total of zero friends. I do literally everything alone. It’s just too easy to fall into a “safe” routine where you avoid any meaningful social contact. So get counseling now, before you miss too many opportunities.</p>
<p>first, stop feeling sorry for yourself. Not saying this to be mean, I’m saying it to help you. Pity makes everything worse. Everything.</p>
<p>I’m an extremely social person, and even I had this problem as a Freshman at a certain college. I was actually doing too many drugs (lsd was the main culprit), and developed extreme social anxiety. I couldn’t interact without hyperventilating. I understand the pain. Here’s what you do-
Exposure Response Prevention. You need to deliberately expose yourself to the thing that’s causing you anxiety, and use cognitive scripts to handle the discomfort. Ease into it, by increasing the time you interact with people. The discomfort will pass. </p>
<p>Were all crazy…people who judge you are just insecure themselves…and EVERYONE is unhappy to some degree. Also, people who smile are rarely shot down for interaction.</p>
<p>If your problem was not getting laid, that’s a lot harder. But your problem is instantly solvable. Start now.</p>
<p>Hi guys, sorry I haven’t updated! I didn’t realize this thread had been posted in again.</p>
<p>@celcius_233: Thanks, now I wish you went to my school!</p>
<p>@sleepyman: Yeah, I think I may end up trying the dining hall when I know it won’t be that busy. And yes, in college it is different in that no one cares about whether or not you are alone. Unfortunately, that’s both a blessing and a curse, since no one can really judge who is alone for the time being, or if they’re “really” alone.</p>
<p>@thermo1: Haven’t seen a counselor yet, unfortunately, but I’m settling into a routine at the least. Not much has changed, but I’m more comfortable with the day-to-day workings of college life.</p>
<p>@legendofmax: Nope, unfortunately I don’t. I made this account when I was but a hopeful high school sophomore!</p>
<p>@wd40ispotent: Thanks for sharing what the long-term ramifications could be. I’m hoping I can get to a counselor at least before the end of September. I do see a psychiatrist occasionally (my next appointment is before Thanksgiving) for ADHD meds, but she hasn’t been too helpful in this area.</p>
<p>@wutangfinancial: Thanks for responding! I’ve definitely done exposure therapy before, and though it works in some way (if I’m exposing myself to social situations, then I’m going to be perceived as more outgoing than I am and probably gain more friends), at the end of the day, I still freak out about social situations. I’ve definitely been in more social situations lately, though, as my honors program has been doing a lot of team-building exercises that kind of force me into conversation. I’m not getting any friendships out of it, but the interaction’s a nice reprieve.</p>
<p>Thanks again for all your responses! I appreciate your support!</p>
<p>This is not sad, sad is when a little boy in Africa can’t eat because his parents are dead. You have a dining hall and all the resources possible so the only sad part is me taking my time to post this.</p>
<p>I agree, it is pretty sad that you took the time to post that. Comparing the severity of two separate situations does not make the less severe situation no longer a concern. What would you tell an African child who doesn’t have anything to eat, but his parents are still alive? He still deserves help, even though there are other children without parents and without food.</p>
<p>There is no malfunction in my brain that has prevented me from figuring out that because there is a dining hall, I can eat. The problem here is that I am too fear-ridden to do that. Obviously if I were making a conscious decision whether to eat or starve, I would choose to eat. People have issues and struggles at every level of society and in every geographic location–it is never as black and white as to be able to say that because someone has it worse, I should be perfectly fine. I am not so self-centered that I care only about my own mental issues. I have committed myself to outreach work and community service, although I don’t need to list my resume here. These problems have only arisen during two and a half weeks. I certainly haven’t spent my life dwelling on how bad I have it.</p>
<p>Additionally, I just looked at a few of your previous posts, and noticed that you are still in high school. I had minimal issues with social anxiety in high school-college is what caused them to come to the forefront. Until you have had some experience with a collegiate environment, you cannot accurately gauge how it can affect some individuals in the social sphere. I would never have guessed in high school that this would happen to me now. So, I’m sorry you took issue with my use of the word “sad”–I will make sure to describe any future updates as “moderately unsettling, but really not all that bad”.</p>
<p>There is no better time in your life to address your anxiety problems. You’re on a college campus where presumably there’s a free or low-cost counseling center with experienced counselors who are used to helping students your age with similar problems. There also are plenty of people your age who could become your friends (something that won’t be true when you go out into the work world where most of your co-workers will be older than you, and some will be your competitors)).</p>
<p>So, instead of continuing to post your concerns here, which isn’t helping you, go to the college counseling center. The longer you wait, the more opportunities you’ll miss. Also, when midterms and finals come, counseling center appointments fill up quickly, so if you’re serious about your anxiety and isolation, get help now.</p>