Coming from the world AH did, it wouldn’t surprise me if this was true, in the world he grew up in being gay or bi would be an open invite to being beat up or worse, it just goes to show that the whole idea that being gay or bi is no big deal isn’t true a lot of places (you can’t say AH was from an earlier generation, guy was what, 27 when he killed himself?). Not to mention that being outed as bi wouldn’t exactly make life easy in the NFL, either. That didn’t justify Hernandez killing Lloyd, but I think it is telling that a friend would cover for Hernandez killing someone, that was fine, except if he thought he was gay or bi, tells just how badly gays and bi’s are viewed even to this day, and it isn’t just in street culture, it is true across society in many cases.
@musicprnt As parent of a newly (senior yr of HS) out gay white male who is now in first year of college and happily in his first relationship, your assessment is disappointing to read but I guess you are right. Maybe I have been deluding myself by thinking a gay white male is pretty much mainstream. Why cant we all just be kind? Ugh.
Unfortunately, professional sports is one area among many where being gay or bi would not be well accepted; in fact, AH might have experienced a devastating change in status relative to his teammates and their relationships had he come out (if in fact the rumors about that are true).
Who knows, though? Someone of his stature might have been able to change the thinking about this. He was a big star, with much potential to become even more revered. Someone like that has the power to create change.
Of course, we will never know, since he decided to execute his victim. Apparently better to be viewed as a murderer than a bisexual.
It could still be, however, that his motivation for the murder of LO had more to do with his Odin’s knowledge of his participation in the other murder.
@grandscheme thankfully your S is out. That is a big problem bc people can do a lot of vicious damage with outting threats. Hopefully he is happily adjusting and has family support.
This story gets weirder all the time!!
@grandscheme:
Sadly, that acceptance of being gay or anything different can often depend on where you are, what class you are and what you are doing. It certainly is a lot better than when I was growing up and things have progressed further then I ever thought would happen, the staid, somewhat conservative suburb where I grew up and still live would not bat an eye at gay couples living there, and from what I understand there are openly gay kids in the schools and from what i can tell (I know some of the parents of the kids), it isn’t the way it was. But the same thing would not be true in many working class environments, in certain cultural/ethnic environments , in a lot of small town America, it is very easy living in areas around big cities and the like to believe it is all well and good, but I think some of what has gone on with the recent election and so forth and a rise in hate crimes against LGBT people says something, too, about what is out there, like most things in history, improvements don’t always move forward the same way and for every action there are reactions. I was just reading the facebook postings of Eric Greitans, the governor of Missouri, and was really saddened, this is a man who wrote a book talking about his experiences in Bosnia during the ethnic cleansing, talked about the horrors he saw, that was based on hate fueled both by religion and ethnic group identity, and he is suddenly promoting a hard right view of ‘religious liberty’ that might as well be putting a target on the backs of LGBT people, and apparently he can’t see hate for what it is or the danger of legalizing hate as law.
I suspect your son will be fine, with being educated and likely living where he will want to live, he likely will be fine, and eventually society will catch up, just doesn’t happen overnight or evenly.
@nrdsb4:
We don’t know the motive, it could have been fear of exposure, or it could have been a combination of things, maybe he was afraid that if people found out he was bi, that others would turn on him and rat him out for the murders he allegedly did before Lloyd was killed, there is no way to know.
@HRSMom He is happily adjusting, has family support-we are excited for him to be free, and his new and old friends and his siblings all enthusiastically support and stand up for him. It is touching really, though there are those random bumps that do happen that remind us of how ignorant and cruel people can be. I understand the fear which could have caused AH to feel he had to fight for his life but of course it would never excuse it…
@Nrdsb4 I guess I misinterpreted the end. I don’t think that Lloyd deserved to die at all. All I’m saying is, the only saint involved in Aaron’s toddler daughter. Hopefully her mother removes her from the madness.
I don’t know if the content of those letters that he left behind will ever be made public. But personally I would find it really heartbreaking if his sexual preferences played any role in either the murders or his own suicide.
If that does turn out to be the case, I don’t think he gave people enough credit. While I certainly understand the hyper-masculinity associated with the NFL, I think there are at least 8 players that have come out in recent years. Although I will acknowledge that more than half of them came out after they were retired. Things are changing though – I think there are at least 4 Division l college players that have come out recently. I think his biggest challenge would have been with his teammates, not with the public at large.
@musicprnt I agree with you that things have progressed farther than I would have ever imagined, either. I don’t see more hate against LGBTQs these days-I see the opposite-a trend towards acceptance and normalization.I just think we squirm with some discomfort as we try to figure out what conversations to have to make the world feel safe for everyone. There will probably always be ignorant people out there-but hopefully the collective national mindset will continue to move towards being supportive and compassionate. No one should have to feel the way AH did.
Just as a counterpoint, my best friend is a happily out bisexual white-ish (white/Hispanic with dark skin but identifies only as white). He didn’t have any issues at his small tech school.
Being out makes a huge difference though. No one can blackmail you.
It disgusts me that there are still areas where one cannot be out. I can’t believe we’re still that backwards in many communities (I’m considering the football etc community to be a community).
I read a lengthy piece about Odin Lloyd and his relationship with AH. It seemed that OL was a nice guy who just liked to play football and refrained from bragging about his relationship with AH or telling stories about him. It also said something about AH having a rented “pad” not that far from his house where he carried on with who-knows-who separate from where he lived with his “fiancee” and daughter. AH had apparently been doing more drugs and become increasingly paranoid. He may have killed Lloyd because he not only knew that he murdered those two men, but he also knew about the apartment and maybe who he saw there. It seems highly unlikely that OL would have broken AH’s confidence on either matter with an intent to harm him.
I think it’s weird that AH and the mother of his daughter were supposedly engaged for something like 4 years. There was nothing preventing them from getting married at any time. Sounds to me as if AH’s real love relationship was with the person who had been his BF since high school. THe other “engagement” was more a means of officially recognizing his child. Apparently he made a will splitting his estate between, IIRC, his fiancee, his D, and his HS BF, with the majority of the money going to the BF.
The whole thing is very sad in many ways.
Change “more than half” to “each and every one.” Michael Sam, although drafted, never played.
The NFL, IMO, will be the last bastion of acceptance of gay players by teammates. As a gay man who absolutely loves American football, this saddens me.
You’re liking the wrong football, @skieurope! Not that I think many (any?) professional soccer players have come out either. I’m not sure which is worse in terms of homophobia, sadly.
Don’t get me wrong - I love soccer too. Anyone catch the Real Madrid/Barcelona match yesterday? And sadly, you’re right. I was really making the comment in reference on the top 4 US mens sports, none of which is actually overrepresented in terms of LGBTQ players,
Not many. Justin Fashanu was the first of very very few. He also took his own life amidst some criminal allegations.
Benjamin Allbright who I think is some sort of NFL draft analyst and sports talk radio host reported that he had interviewed 2 or 3 current NFL players who are gay. They acknowledged that their team members knew. They will not go public because they want to avoid the publicity fiasco that would be associated with such an announcement.
So while we can’t be sure of Allbright’s veracity I included them as well as Sam in my calculation in post #68.
Amari Stoudemire, retired NBA, current Israeli basketballer said that he would have to shower across the street if he had a gay teammate. It’s unfortunate they think this way. As if every gay man is going to be attracted to you and even if they were, didn’t have the decency to show restraint.
How is it that lesbians are able to thrive so successfully in women’s sports? Must be a hyper masculinity thing in mens lorckerrooms.
@skieurope The match was definitely on in my house. My spouse gets quite animated and loud. 
He’s a Barca fan so happy they pulled it off.
Women don’t think every lesbian wants to sleep with them.
Too many men think every gay man is attracted to them and wants to sleep with them which is part of why having a gay teammate creeps them out.
Gee… it’s almost like men don’t like being gawked at and seen as a piece of meat (even though they aren’t… they’re just full of themselves IME). 8->
(But yeah, hyper-masculinity has a lot to do with it, too.)
Many men think every woman wants to sleep with them, too. Nope. 