<p>One thing that abused people sometimes have a hard time with is that their abusers usually are not abusing on a daily basis. There can be 50 good days and then an abusive day. The 50 good days do not cancel out the abusive day. That’s what’s hard to grasp. They’ll say, “well, most of the time the person isn’t abusing me.”</p>
<p>Look at it this way…if an abuser gave you 49 good meals and then 1 poison meal, the fact that he/she gave you 49 good meals doesn’t diminish the fact (the CRIME) that the abuser gave you a poisonous meal. </p>
<p>The OP needs to get out of the home, take a full ride, and not depend on the parents. The father may grow some you-know-whats when he realizes that he’ll lose contact with his D if he doesn’t man-up. </p>