<p>actingmt: you said you read the OP’s posts. If you had, you’d have known she DOES have a job. And no one is suggesting she “survive independently over the next few months”. What we’re saying is that the full ride scholarship is her way out and perhaps her only chance at making a legitimate exit that will preserve her health, her future, and her independence as an adult, while leaving space to repair her relationship with her mom. OP has stated that she has full ride scholarships and, in addition to that, she can work and knows how to work. </p>
<p>What would you have her do? Should she enroll in the random college chosen by her mother and stay at home in such an unhealthy environment?
Do you think it’s okay to break her ED contract for that reason, but not to escape an abusive situation is okay (which legally no one can object to) - or what do you see as problematic in that situation? </p>
<p>Note to the person who mentioned slapping in the Walmart parking lot: 1° the reason you noticed is because it is NOT admissible and kind of shocking 2° I’m willing to bet most of the slapped kids were 2 to 8 and none were 17.
I’m also willing to bet OP’s mother would never display violence in public, but is sweet and charming when she’s with others. That’s a typical pattern with abusers.</p>
<p>Kids getting slapped (in the face) is ALWAYS an issue coming from the adult, as hitting the face is personal and it comes from a hateful place in the person who does the slapping; the adult is responsible for losing control (that happens to all of us but not as a pattern), when it becomes a pattern of adult ticked off for random reason/child getting hit then the child becomes the adult’s punching ball and that’s punishable by law; or, more frightening, using control to hurt the person they’re in charge of. It does not come from love, ever. Nor do punching or hair pulling. yes those would be considered abuse and yes OP could press charges. OP doesn’t want to, as most abused kids don’t, but thinking slapping, punching, and hair pulling come from love is wrong. And any physical discipline that comes from something else than love is called abuse. It nearly always is when we’re talking teenagers and it only stops if the teen hits back or leaves.
Psychologists have also found that the worst abuse actually is verbal, not physical, in that the damage is much more insidious and takes much longer to repair. OP’s mother is both verbally and physically abusive. No responsible adult would advise OP to stay in that situation. The full ride scholarships are something many abused kids wish they had as, concretely, OP will be living in dorms, eating in the cafe, reading in the library, receiving counselling, and living away from that nightmare (although she may not realize how bad it is because she’s inside it for now). She will be taken care of for 4 years. </p>