<p>My parents were definitely the “everything less than an ‘A’ is practically failure” types from elementary school on, though it wasn’t intentional (mom is an educator). However, lucky for me, they were pretty clueless about the whole college admissions game so there was never any pressure there. And I actually had a period where I swore off college altogether (scandalizing my mom).</p>
<p>The attitude of your best not being good enough has stuck with me though, and I am an insufferable perfectionist. I am also overly-sensitive to criticism and have a hard time accepting responsibility for major mistakes (just ask my husband how that’s working out for us…). I think their attitude towards performance, esp academic performance, is partly to blame, though part of it is probably just my personality.</p>
<p>And just to scare you perfectionist-driven spoiled helicopter parents straight, I am going to horrify you with my true stories of high school underperformance:
-I got one “bubble” off on the multiple choice section in the SAT II-Writing and ended up with a 420 (that’s when they had SAT II-Writing).
-I also managed to choke on my AP English exam and only complete 1 1/2 of the 3 essays (got a 2. A TWO!!! And no chances to retake it).
-I attempted to take the ACT 3 times before I actually got through it-- first time I was sick, second time I was 3 minutes late and they wouldn’t let me in, and the third time I showed up at the wrong school and had to rush over to the right one- was 30 minutes late and testing had started already, not to mention my stress levels were through the roof… Needless to say, I didn’t have much luck with standardized testing.
-Oh, and I also got rejected at the only 4 colleges I applied to as a senior (all reaches). And you know what? I wasn’t really ready for college and none of them would have been a good fit anyway. I did some really interesting things with my life instead and came back around to college later. I’m going to a good school now and am doing well. </p>
<p>A few bad scores are not the end of the world-- academic performance in high school does not determine your worth or your future success. If you want to joke about it in private, fine, but please do not even hint at that kind of stuff with your kids around.</p>
<p>As an aside, I know I was much more motivated when my teachers, not my parents, determined what was my potential and if I was/wasn’t living up to it.</p>