<p>^^Nope, he was looking for information on how to preserve the skin. He shot a snake, cut off its head & rattle (which he gave to one of the kids), then skinned it. I wouldn’t want to be his parents when he returns home with his new prize!</p>
<p>^That’s hilarious. I can think of more than a few parents who’d faint with horror at the very idea.</p>
<p>A call from my S when he was in middle school, when he started going on the rec department ski trips:</p>
<p>S: I’m at the top of the mountain & I can’t get down - can you come get me?</p>
<p>Me: Um…is one of the rec department instructors around?</p>
<p>S: yeah</p>
<p>Me: Can you ask him to help you? I can talk to him if you like.</p>
<p>S: No that’s ok. Thanks, see you later. Click.</p>
<p>Love it! My son will be heading to college five hours away in a couple of weeks. </p>
<p>I am waiting for the phone call: Mom, can you come bring me to the grocery store? </p>
<p>I would not put it past him.</p>
<p>I am already warning my work that I will probably have to be off every Friday to drive five hours to pick up son to bring him home for a visit. He will very much miss his cats, and his XBOX.</p>
<p>I will also not be surprised that when I get there, he will be nowhere to be found, having found something to do while he waited for his ride home.</p>
<p>Montegut - I don’t think so. I put the money on your son will forget to call you, and you would be taking Fri afternoon off to drive up to his school to figure out why he is MIA.</p>
<p>Ha, funny, oldfort! In that case, it will be daddy driving up!</p>
<p>“Mom, I’m pregnant.”</p>
<p>“Mom, I got kicked out of school…”</p>
<p>“Mom, I killed someone.”</p>
<p>“Mom, I’m addicted to drugs/alcohol.”</p>
<p>“Mom, I’ve got HIV.”</p>
<p>“Mom, I want to kill myself.”</p>
<p>“Mom, I’m going to major in Under Water Basket Weaving”</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Which is obviously the best major ever.</p>
<p>Or, if you want something even more useful, there’s Folklore and Mythology!</p>
<p>5 weeks into freshman year, after being thrilled with a terrific merit scholarship a California university which is close to home, D calls me with “is it too late to transfer to New York, I can’t stand it here”
Fortunately that was short lived and she’s very happy now.</p>
<p>Another call at 2:30 am…" I need your advice whether I should go to the emergency now or in the morning"
She went to the university clinic as soon as it opened at 7am…had twisted her foot stepping in a pothole…bad sprain and hairline fracture…crutches for 3 weeks.</p>
<p>D: Mom I feel perfectly safe walking around Broadway by myself at 2 am.</p>
<p>D: Mom, I followed the directions exactly, but Alex (girl) and I can’t find the movie theater.<br>
Me::checks the internet:: Honey, turn around.
D: Oh yeah, it’s right there!</p>
<p>D: How do you make chicken parmigiana again? My friends will be here in ten minutes.</p>
<p>S: I am trying to get to the ferry in Bridgeport, but I keep getting on I-95. What should I do?</p>
<p>S: It’s okay to wash my silk shirt right? Because our machines can’t be stopped in mid cycle.</p>
<p>S: Is butter bad when you’re throwing up?</p>
<p>School nurse (S was 5). You’re son has had an accident. Come immediately and bring a change of clothes.
Me: I imagined the worst. Blood soaked garments, etc.
He was sitting contented on a chair while all the other kids were on the floor. Apparently the “accident” was simply pee and he couldn’t care less about changing his clothes.</p>
<p>Kindergarten Teacher: You’re son is really good in physics. He made a catapault that worked, but he’s bleeding pretty badly.</p>
<p>All was well after a few stitches.</p>
<p>The school nurse call above reminded me of a call I would have liked to have received:</p>
<p>It was a hot day in May and son was in 1st grade. Go to pick him up in carpool line with plans to run some errands with said son. He gets in the car and reeks of sour milk and I can not figure out what the problem is, until I look at the front of his white shirt. He had spilled his chocolate milk, looked like the entire carton, down the front of his shirt and shorts. Lunch was at 11:00, this was now 3:00! I had to roll the windows down and drive straight home. Would it have hurt the teacher to call me to bring a clean outfit for him instead of making him sit in wet clothes the entire day?</p>
<p>Phone call from S1:</p>
<p>How do you stop a car when you have no brakes?</p>
<p>Lol how bout as a response, </p>
<p>At the frat house, all the girls were doin it, no big deal</p>
<p>Laughing at the change of clothes calls. I remember one when S2 was 5. He and a cute blond girl had bonded after they were both thrown up on by a classmate. They will graduate this year, and are still best friends. In fact, our families vacation together. Who knew?</p>
<p>“Mom, my air bags work. Hold on. I have to talk to the police.”</p>
<p>“How much does a really crappy hotel room cost?”</p>
<p>S2: S1 has a tattoo on his butt. I saw it on Facebook.</p>
<p>text: “Well the good news is I probably don’t have mono. But the nurse at the Health Center was impressed with my 102 fever.”</p>
<p>text: “The bus is highly inconvenient. Can I get a car?”</p>
<p>mafool… I hope you were just making that one up? :eek:</p>
<p>Nope, I think it’s pretty close to verbatim! He was fine, everyone was fine, the car was totaled, and the police agreed that it was the other driver’s fault. None of that was clear until part way into the phone call. But, because he was talking to me, I knew he was OK, so I stayed nice and calm for him; it was his first and only accident.</p>
<p>3:30AM - “Should my roommate wake me up in the middle of the night to make sure I’m not brain damaged because I fell off my bike and smashed my head and I wasn’t wearing a helmet?”</p>