<p>cmscribe, I’ve PM’d you with more information.</p>
<p>One more idea I’ll share: I’ve spent this school year trying - and making sure my son notices that I’m trying - to treat him as an adult… a young adult, for sure. Also I’ve begun to treat him as a roommate of sorts, in that I don’t clean his room or his bathroom, or do his laundry, or assume he’ll be home for dinner. He has to make his own decisions, live within a budget, run his own errands, make his own haircut appointments, pick up his own cans of tea for the fridge, etc. In fact, I’ve even switched over to food he has to get for himself in the kitchen. It was a bit of a shock, I think. He likes the idea of being treated differently, but pretty quickly saw that he had to step up.</p>
<p>The flip side of this is that I’ve also explained to him that I don’t want to have to be his coach. I want someone else to take over that role, someone better at it than me and with experience helping students like him be successful at college.</p>
<p>And the reason I don’t want the job - even though I believe it will prove to be enormously helpful to him - is that I want to just be his mom, and I want our relationship not to have that element of accountability on his part / concern and vigilance on mine.</p>
<p>So I’ve told him I really have two goals: his successful transition to college, and our successful transition to the relationship we’ll have as two adults…and that this coach is essential to both goals.</p>