<p>There are two types of things to keep: those YOU think your child should keep, or that YOU cannot part with, and the things THEY want to keep. They might not be the same things. My oldest filled the closet in his old room, closed the door, I did not have to look at it. Second child I had to box his room as we did a room switch while he was in college. His stuff is in 1/2 a closet. D put her stuff in boxes. We will move soon, but have great storage space avail, so I will do the rubbermaid approach, with limits. Once they get a home, though, it is theirs to store. I am the one who will not sell the old good $$$ toys. So I have brio train, blocks, wooden puzzles, some books, Am girl dolls, one box of Barbie, playmobile and lego, along with some metal cars. And COSTUMES, my kids were into theatre. I cannot part with some of them – yet! Whose problem is it?? Depends who is hording!</p>
<p>We kept their stuff until they figured out where they were going to end up. Over time, they have gone through it and culled out what they don’t want. So what we have now amounts to 3-4 boxes which we’ll store until they want it or we move. If we move, it will either get sent to them or thrown out. Except for the stuff mom just has to keep for them.</p>
<p>We plan to sell the house next spring when H retires and son graduates (then grad school). We will leave town and downsize. We are not packrats. I tried to get son to go through stuff after HS graduation and other times since without success- it is much easier for him to ignore it and leave it all behind. I do not want to overwhelm him/me with years of accumulated stuff next summer so I have taken upon myself to force the issue a bit at a time.</p>
<p>Years ago I selected some toys/books from baby/toddler years to save and gave the rest away- better they are used than sit in a closet. Before his last winter break I cleaned out his closet and put most of his stuff I wanted to potentially dispose of (trash or Goodwill) in a spare room. My hope was that he would organize things, of course he didn’t. I warned/threatened him that anything he didn’t make a decision on I would dispose of. The night before he left he had “rescued” things he wanted to save at this time. I had to do the task of disposal. I was then able to organize his closet and it will be easier for him next winter (I hope) and summer to pare down the contents again (he’s gone this summer). Finally the HS homework and other unsentimental papers are gone- 3 years after HS. It is easy for kids to just leave their childhood behind. In the ideal world son would do this sorting himself, but I’ll do it so I don’t have to live in a museum of his childhood days.</p>
<p>I’m hoping son will discard all of those kid soccer trophies every child gets every season. I understand saving the ones for races won and definitely the “4 years in” CC/track ones should be saved. I can see saving Star Wars figures (they still sell those!) and matchbox cars and trucks it is hard to find (I know since I’m the won who bought all of those interesting ones). Yes, the Legos will be saved- but hopefully he will dismantle those space whatevers someday and add them to the containers. It was easy to get rid of things I know he never was very attached to and I took a moment to remember playtimes with a lot of trucks et al. It is a struggle between sentimentality and practicality.</p>
<p>There is no good/painless way to get the job done. It will be interesting to see how much stuff we will have to move and save for son until he is really on his own. I am glad to hear there are other tough parents out there. Mom4X has nailed it about YOU/HIS wants.</p>
<p>Funny, we are working on this project this summer. We have moved around a bit and always kept the room 'the same" for several years as no one was ready to make the changes and we had the room.</p>
<p>A few years ago we downsized and we packed the college kids stuff into the basement.</p>
<p>D1 has graduated undergrad & now masters and is headed far away for a PhD, she is going through tons of stuff making the cuts. She is to be done soon, she had an entire apartment an hour from us plus all the junk that was still here.</p>
<p>We did not limit the # of rubbermaids, just using smaller/medium sized ones, but we are asking that books and such be listed on Amazon and that they get brutal.</p>
<p>D2 already left for an internship far far away and she had about 10 days to go through all her stuff we packed in hte basement and all her stuff from undergrad. She got it down to 10 rubbermaids and tons of goodwill. We have lots of room in the basement, so that is fine. She can still fit into some clothes from long ago, even a 2nd grad sports sweatshirt, so she had a ton of too short for fashion t-shirts (a la the Britney days) to get rid of.</p>
<p>Youngest D is still in undergrad but knows a grandparent may have to live in her room so she needs to do it herself this summer or risk me doing it, and she doesn’t want me doing it, so hopefully that will motivate her.</p>
<p>One of the most interesting things was all the trophies…do you keep them? dump them? take off the name plate and donate them? so far they are keeping ribbons and medals.</p>
<p>I will do to my kids what my parents did to me…pack it all up and ship it to them! I moved 8 times in 12 years and everytime, I discarded more and more and more. I think I’m down to a couple text books, some of my favorite childhood books, pictures, high school yearbooks stuffed with things and a few letters I had sent home to “mom and dad” from college and grad school.</p>
<p>I kept S1’s room and all his junk the same until the end of freshman yr. He and I did a huge cleanout that summer. After moving out of the dorm to an apt., he took pretty much what he wanted w/ him. He graduated in May. HIs room is pretty cleaned out except maybe some stuff on the walls, a cork board with all kinds of h.s stuff still on it…I could prob. trash it. His h.s football jersey…save. A poster of Bart Simpson photographing his butt in the mirror…hmmmm.</p>
<p>S1 is not really the sentimental type. He prob. wouldn’t care if I dumped it all.
I have saved all his Matchbox/Hot Wheel cars and Legos.</p>
<p>All I can say is be careful what you dump - my mom dumped my baseball card and autographed baseballs collection - and it is still painful 30 years later. </p>
<p>Of course the fact the cards were worth over $10,000 and there were at least 30 Hall of Fame autographed baseballs (including Mantle, Koufax, Berra, and Mays) might have something to do with it. :(</p>
<p>My mother got rid of my stuff with no warning–like several other posters’ parents. I don’t remember having anything I cared about though. </p>
<p>We just did a move and had to clear out the kids’ rooms as part of the move. We made them pack up their own stuff, but did agree to store as many boxes as they wanted to pack. Both designated lots of books to go to resale (I ended up with a $502 gift card for Powell’s book!) but there are boxes we are storing anyway. They have a three year deadline on dealing with those, because we put them in a corner of the company warehouse, and the lease is up in three years.</p>
<p>We long ago gave the Legos to DH’s brother’s son. The deal is that they go in circles of relatives but can’t be gotten rid of. I figure we’ll get them back when (if?) kids have kids of their own. It was a full garbage can of pieces by the time we were done.</p>
<p>The stuff I really don’t know what to do with: DH’s mother’s silver, which he likes and I don’t. I haven’t opened that box in years… and what to do with the incomplete china set that D says she wants “when I have a permanent place”–that belonged to DH’s grandmother. How long do I have to store those boxes?</p>
<p>Stacy wrote:
Stacy, that’s a neat option, thank you for posting…when can I ship the first batch to your grandma’s house?</p>
<p>Thumper: not only dolls, but D has an owlry that would do Hogwarts proud with (checking) eight owls. Not to mention a griffin, a gold tabby cat (Crookshanks) and stuffed animals to numerous to mention. </p>
<p>However, most of the bears, the wombat, the vulture, the camels, the sheep, the bison, the parrot, the rhinocerous, the stuffed bear footrest, the hedgehogs, the Chinese dragons, etc. are all <em>mine</em> and everyone can keep their grubby mitts off.</p>
<p>^Family heirlooms get stored forever, apparently! I have a whole bedroom full of boxes of my parent’s (mostly), grandparents (that parents had), and great-grandparents (a few treasured pieces) stuff. I don’t often have the will to polish silver, don’t play piano (but do frame the sheet music with nice graphics), and, though I love antiques, can’t stand alot of clutter. But I just can’t get rid of this stuff…ever! My kids will have to swear to live with it too, I guess.</p>
<p>
We together decided to purge the trophies (D’s were a mix of sports and music) a year ago. I took them to the dining room table and took pictures of them in a group and singly, so the designations could be read. Then I removed the personalized plates and donated the tropies. Perhaps some school or group could re-use them. The pics take up little space and require no dusting.
Ribbons, medals, certificates, awards, etc. are in the plastic containers with the baby books. Also there are the cute notes from over the years, etc.
I tell them I am saving these things for their future presidential museums LOL! :)</p>
<p>story I think is cute:
When my son was in first grade his teacher assigned the class one of those beginning writing assignments. She asked the class members to write a piece of “advice to newlyweds” and illustrate it. The results, very entertaining, were posted in the hall outside the classroom. Most of the kids wrote about sharing the chores. My son, who has always had, we think, a delightful nature and wonderful disposition, wrote “Tell your wife a joke every day.” I saved that page with picture and tell him I will have it framed some day for his wife-to-be — plan to give it to her at her bridal shower.
That is the kind of stuff that makes the cut for me.</p>
<p>We did also save special toys and the Brio train set in a plain wooden toy box we still keep in our family room. We donated the Legos.</p>
<p>A bit off topic, but…</p>
<p>When my parents sold the “family house” that we all grew up in, my mom called us all (with about 2 weeks notice) and said “Be here on Saturday at 1:00 p.m. as you and your siblings are going to clean out the attic,” which was the main storage place in the house. The understanding was if you didn’t come over it was going in the trash.</p>
<p>One of my brothers brought a case of beer for the group (more than 4, less than 10) and we had a great afternoon jointly going through all of our stuff and cleaning out the attic. A few owned up to hiding places in the attic for illicit material. Most of us took very little and put the rest in the trash. “Pack Rat” brother hauled 3 carloads of his (and our) stuff over to his residence. All in all it was a great day.</p>
<p>BTW, Pack Rat subsequently sold a lot of the stuff on EBay!</p>
<p>Each son has a special box that I’ve saved certificates, awards, artwork, etc.<br>
When S1 moved out he was told to take what he wants - he shared a bedroom with S2 - and S2 would take what he wanted.
S2 is in grad school now and I see him moving across country when he is finished and he’s been informed that he better take what he wants (all the college books) because I will be reclaiming the bedroom. If he wants to keep things he’s more than welcomed to put it in his place or pay for his own storage container. I am determined to clear the clutter!</p>
<p>Timely topic…our daughter has been living out of the country for 14 years. In ten days she will be coming through here with a rental truck on her way to new job. We are thrilled anew every time we think of one more thing, one more box, one more category of things she can retrieve from our house and take to hers. How cleansing! We do want to keep enough toys around to make grandma’s house an interesting place to visit. The rest is fair game. Whoopeee!</p>
<p>Garage sales have always depressed me, for the reason that I drive by and think: These people had all this unwanted clutter in that house just yesterday. How can people live like that?</p>
<p>I could see hanging on to a few boxes of memorabilia for a young adult who is in an apartment and doesn’t have the room, but beyond that? I think it’s their responsibility to take it and decide what they want to keep and what they don’t. If they have the room, and they’re not taking it, then it says that it really isn’t memorabilia that’s all that meaningful.</p>
<p>Of course, I don’t think it’s right to throw out their stuff without asking or without giving them a deadline to get it out. </p>
<p>It’s not the room – it’s an aversion to clutter. And boxes and boxes are clutter.</p>
<p>We are facing this. Florida house, no attic, no basement.
Already stuffed with their stuff.</p>
<p>I like the x number of rubbermaid boxes idea - we were already planning something like that. DS also has furniture/household items here that he may or may not want/need in the near term. Just talked to DH about that. If DS isn’t going to want/need them SOON, we’ll have a garage sale and either give DS the $$ or hold the $$ until DS needs to replace the items at a Goodwill store. </p>
<p>With son 3 about to head off to college, I would like to reclaim my house a bit, and tripping over their stuff for another 4 years is not what I have in mind. </p>
<p>I think the garage sale might be a good idea. Toys, DVD’s video games, books, etc., etc…
A lot of this stuff they are never going to want, and they aren’t going to have room for it for a long time.</p>
<p>I will 'fess up, when we downsized a few years ago some special furnishings that don’t fit into this house were stored at my parents house, hoping they will fit into the next house.</p>