You don’t need to write off Duke. But you also need to shift gears mentally from “Oh my gosh, I need Duke to understand our financial situation” to “It isn’t likely that Duke will be affordable, and that’s ok because I love ABC college and would be really happy there”. And that mindshift needs to happen NOW- before you get further in the process.
You haven’t yet explained your family’s financial situation in a way that makes is seem as though Duke is going to be financially affordable for four years. Your parents can live off less than half their earned income with no savings?