I seeply appreciate the comments that you have each offered.
My daughter (age 23) just got back from living in Romania and Moldova for a year and half (during which she became quite fluent in the Romanian language). They are not Albania, but they are eastern European countries, and that State Dept. site gives much the same warnings about them as it does about Albania. She never encountered any safety problems. She was over there as part of a church program that was vigilant about looking after its people. And she was careful to stay out of rough parts of town and to always travel with friends.
So based on my daughter’s experience, I think the key question here is more about the young man and his family who will be hosting her than it is about Albania. I’d have the same worries and questions about my daughter visiting strangers in say Italy or Spain as I would about Albania.
Can it be determined in advance whether the guy and his family are legit and whether she will be in a decent part of the town? Are there any Americans or other friends she could stay with for a while when she first arrives so that she doesn’t have to fall right in with the family before she’s had a chance to assess the situation? Her hosts are the key to her safety, not the country.
If it were a best friend who had been her roommate at an Erasmus (international) study abroad school, it would make sense, and with a bit of prep, communication with the friend’s family, and skype, it would sound okay. But given the circumstances, I would worry too. She will basically be depending on the friend and his family, and there are many cultural things that could be misread. If something gets weird who else would she know there to rely upon for help?
This is someone she met once? And you live in the US, correct?
I’d be concerned if it was Quebec, let alone Albania. If, for some reason, she needed to contact the police, they probably won’t speak English. Hell, it’s Eastern Europe, who knows if it would even be the right move to contact the police?
Everyone needs an “escape plan” no matter where you travel. Whether it’s to get out of the results of a natural disaster (this happened to me), political unrest, endless strikes, sickness, or a generally uncomfortable hinky family situation. The only things I know about Albania is that the infrastructure leaves a lot to be desired, it’s politically corrupt and unstable and it’s not the safest place for a woman to travel alone. I am sure that besides the aforementioned problems it is full of gracious hospitable people and probably perfectly safe to travel with a group. But her D is going alone and the OP has described her as naive. Even though I like to think ala Blanche Dubois that I have “always depended on the kindness of strangers”…at the same time I know that a concrete “escape plan” is essential and whether or not her D can execute this sort of plan is questionable.
What lizard said.
A young woman alone going to stay with a guy (and his “family”) in a country where she does not speak the language is extremely risky.
No no no no no.
Of she wants to visit Albania she should go with a group or at least one other person, they should stay in piblic accomodations, etc - in other words, be responsible tourists.
Ironically, so many were in favor of another poster’s son going off to Singapore, when Mom didn’t know the GF or family, or the plans. I get that this time we’re discussing a young woman. And granted, the other two were in some relationship at college.
Right now, for all we know, this guy’s family is all professionals, speaks English, lives well, in a cosmopolitan area full of others who speak English, and has hosted many other of his Euro friends.
Too much we don’t know. We know zip about this guy, whether he was a busboy or a professional.
Not ironic. Singapore is a modern sophisticated country( where many posters here have traveled). Albania is not. The country of Albania is fraught with problems. I know it’s not politically correct to say so but some places are not as safe as others.
If the guy was the girl’s long time boyfriend, snd the girl’s family had met the guy, it would be different.
But yes, women are more vulnerable when travelling abroad. Remember Natalee Holloway?
The other mom knew next to nothing about the GF (hadn’t even met her) or her family, nor whether they lived in the boonies or a slick city apt. I understand poster concerns. But as a parent, I’d want more info, even if it was some first world country.
And maybe the obvious solution is to graciously bow out until there is more known than unknown. Learn more and go some other time, maybe with others.
The Singapore one, iirc, I expressed reservations about the intentions of the family inviting the guy actually.
One difference is that Singapore is a uniquely law-and-order state and most people speak English.
Just saying: see the State Dept words about Singapore.
At this point, I should clarify that I’m on the side that says no-go. At the very least because there is no info.
Not really…
They speak English in Singapore.
It’s a wealthy country, Albania is poor.
The police can be trusted in Singapore.
It’s someone he knows well, not someone he met once.
I hate to continue the off topic focus and truly don’t intend to be argumentative or rude, but what “State Dept words” about Singapore are you finding? I note a mention of terrorist activity that has happened (no date) in nearby countries. Guess that includes Australia and India as well as Malaysia. We’ve also seen extremist groups in Paris recently, obviously no where is immune. And, bottom line, Singapore has not yet been targeted.
In the “other thread” discussions, I think Singapore’s drug trafficking laws were noted (death penalty) and some laws unusual to Americans - no gum, no litter, no drinking on MRT, etc. A law abiding American tourist or expat is unlikely to run afoul of any of these laws. I didn’t see any of these warnings mentioned in the State Department alerts or warnings - although it may be there and I missed them. Having just returned, there was definitely a warning on the Singapore entry card that I signed that the penalty for drug trafficking was death. I don’t think the country could have made that plainer.
Thank you for continuing to give me more things to consider.
Thanks to Skype, my husband has spoken with the young man and his father. The young man is fairly fluent in English (he lived in England for some time as an adult) but his dad understands it better than he speaks it. It is a language that is studied in school. He got a good vibe in speaking with them, but is still pondering the situation.
I will also have a chance to speak with him over Skype. I like the idea of emailing the embassy to ask some questions.
The idea of an ‘escape’ plan is a good one. However, just now I’m a bit stumped on how to proceed on that since she doesn’t know anyone else in the country. They do live quite near the airport (Tirana International Airport) so I think she could find a way to get there if necessary. A taxi should be an option since it’s not that far.
Well, an escape plan could just be a hotel.
Thank you @Vladenschlutte
Escape plan = hotel + credit card + passport.
Short of an outright criminal kidnapping there a very few jams that can’t be solved with money. Make sure she never lets her credit card and her passport out her possession. Armed with those she can always run for it, so to speak, if the situation turns uncomfortable.
If your daughter does decide to go, she should register with the American Embassy through the STEP program which helps with communication in emergencies.
The ideal solution would be for your daughter to find an adventurous friend to travel with and for the two of them to stay in a hotel and visit the family for day visits.
Then again, some of the best times in my life have been when, in my youth, I excepted invitations of near-strangers to stay in their homes. And I was certainly safer in those circumstances than in the flea bag hostels I would otherwise be staying in!
One word of advice – You should encourage your daughter to be absolutely frank with the boy before the trip as to her romantic interest (or more specifically, lack thereof, if that is the case). I wouldn’t be worried that the guy is expecting sex in return for hospitality in his parents’ home, but the invitation does seem to suggest that he has some romantic interest in her. It would be embarrassing for all concerned if she were to be greeted by the parents as a paramour of the young man if she has no interest.
But the very fact that she wants to accept the invitation makes me wonder if she might have more interest in the guy than she is telling you!
We were in Tirana last year. Albania is a very poor country much like other surrounding countries. Although we were part of a tour, H and I ventured out ourselves frequently. I didn’t find ordinary people scary or intimidating although Albania is known as as the chop shop for stolen Mercedes in Europe. Every other vehicle is a Mercedes and 90% were stolen from other European countries.
I think it is important to know more about the family of the young man than Albania itself. It it was my daughter, I would wonder why it is important for his family to host her and if I hadn’t met the young man first, I would discourage my daughter to visit his family. I would do this even if the boy is American.