Allowances

Parent Cafe
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<p>Fendergirl, I don’t entirely disagree with you - much of what you wrote makes sense, and is an enviable model to follow. My D worked summers during high school, and once in college could provide excellent references from the same employer for a three-year period. </p>

<p>But it was her choice to work - I did not require it, or even suggest it. She went off on her own a got a job - it was close to the area where she did her summer workouts, so, it made sense. Had she not decided to get a job, or come up with any other ideas as to what to do during summer, I would have issued some directive - either take a class, sign up for a program, educational travel, or, work. </p>

<p>This year, her last year of undergrad, she accidently has three paying jobs. I think that’s too much, and have said so. I have said that I am not sure how she expects to be able to competently execute a full schedule of classes, which include some hard sciences and 500 levels, three jobs, a student government position, AND get her grad school/law school applications in order, with all the work that has to go into that. I’ve bluntly stated that at least one of these three jobs probably needs to go, lest too much work compromise her other objectives. She’s not listening to me, which is o.k. too - she doesn’t have to listen to me. It’s totally her call to have three jobs or twenty jobs or - whatever. To her credit, the jobs all DO relate specifically to future career development, and they pay well. </p>

<p>But I think that’s too much work. She is going to be required to work full time for at LEAST the next four decades, and maybe even longer. I just don’t get the rush to workworkwork so much right now, especially when there is no urgent, immediate economic or career growth cause to do so, and when the time can be leveraged for longer-range priorities. </p>

<p>That’s how I feel about high school age students, too. Now, if they WANT to work, great - as long as it doesn’t compromise grads, social interaction, etc. But I don’t see that they should be required to do so during the school year, especially in exchange for small amounts of spending money.</p>

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<p>My parents stopped giving me allowance when I started working. I get about $900/month and have to pay for basically everything. Clothing, food outside of home (which I usually have to do, since I’m a vegetarian and the main meals at home usually have meat in them), supplies, etc…</p>

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<p>Enn, are you serious? $900/month??? Entire families live on less. I’m not criticising, just amazed (and probably jealous). </p>

<p>Also, Enn, I hope you’re including the ‘small’ fact that you live in Kuwait in your college apps. Certainly something that would set you apart & could be parleyed into a great essay, especially if you explain why you think it’s “hell.”</p>

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<p>hehe. Yup. It’s a ‘real’ job for a newspaper. It’s so perfect for me, because I plan on studying journalism. =D</p>

<p>My essay does deal a lot with the university I’m at, which is a reflection of the culture here (the extreme conservatism, gender segregation, superficialism, religiousness, sexism, homophobia [although I’m straight], etc.). </p>

<p>I just realized that 900 is a lot. I should really learn how to budget my money better. But things are really expensive here. And I go to an insanely superficial university where everyone has an LV, Chloe and Gucci bag. So I have to look decent or get stares. But I think I’m just sticking with jeans and sweaters this year. screw 'em.</p>

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<p>Enn, My D’s comment about Syracuse University “way too many Louis Vitton bags, Mom.” Something to consider, if you’re interested in SU’s outstanding journalism program :)</p>

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<p>I did consider it, don’t worry. I’ve heard how the Newhouse school of journalism is a bit different than the rest of Syracuse. People are more diverse there and I can deal with superficial people as long as they’re not religious psychos trying to push their beliefs on me too. Anyway, all you need are a few like-minded friends and you’re set - unfortunately, I can’t find anyone who’s even a little open minded (oh, and female, of course, can’t go around have male friends in this country, at least not openly at my university). </p>

<p>Pretty much anything is better than here, believe me. =]</p>

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<p>Ah, and I didn’t mention that I’m probably not going to Syracuse since they don’t accept journalism students mid-year, unfortunately. But I’m hoping NYU’s letting me in in the spring, so there’s hope (and a little delusion).</p>

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<p>This is an interesting thread. It goes to show you that the expectations that parents create in kids during their years at home are not going to evaporate when they go to college. If you are giving your kid unlimited use of the credit cards, paying for their entertainment, encouraging or permitting expensive venues for many years, you only have yourself to blame when a continuation of this lifestyle is expected. You can preach all you want about dropping to “lower class” income and lifestyle when becoming a student while you are living the “uppermiddle” or above life at home, but it is not going to sink in. These kids have enough adjustments they have to make in their new home. So parents do need to keep this in mind when they are coming up with allowances and monetary priviliges. They should also realize that in a few years, the kids will be out in the working world, or grad/prof student worlds, where they are not going to be living in the style their parents are unless those parents are willing to subsidize further. </p>

<p>For kids who are not living extravagently, the numbers that the colleges give as the average cost of attendence are a good guide. If you look at those figures and find that your haircuts alone will take up that allowance, you are living extravagently regardless of your protests otherwise. Unless there is a truly outstanding reason, those costs are a good guideline. If your student has a special need or activity that is not usual, you can adjust that figure upwards. For kids who are going to work a few hours a week, you can adjust accordingly; and those kids are fortunate in that are getting a slow immersion in self sufficiency.<br>
For famiies in tight financial situations, those figures are important in that they give you a guideline on how much extra it costs beyond the tuition/room/board numbers. Financial aid and loans are often tied to those numbers as well, so if there is an outstanding expense, you must plan for it.</p>

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<p>Are you at all interested in television journalism? If so, look into University of Missouri - hottest program in the country. Mizzou grads so dominate the industry, they’re called the Mizzou Mafia. Northwestern also has a great placement rate. And your background could be very interesting to Northeastern University, where you can hone your craft at paid coops.</p>

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<p>I’m applying to Mizzou and Northwestern. =D</p>

<p>I’m considering television journalism since I was a host on a TV show here and it was fun and, of course, I love journlism. But they don’t even look at your ECs, which worries me. I just need to send my HS transcript once my school opens and they make a decision in a couple of days.
Me –> <a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/showthread.php?t=230723[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/showthread.php?t=230723&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>I like how parents are in these forums. I had to practically beg my dad just to get his financial documents for me to apply. lol.</p>

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<p>:) to LateToSchool.</p>

<p>My parents cut my long hair. After all, if, when they are done, they mess up, it’s only a bit each way to make it look good. </p>

<p>As for earrings - I have two pairs that I wear. One are diamond studs (18th birthday present) and the others are silver hoops. The former are my everyday/professional wear, and the latter are my fun wear. </p>

<p>My family sometimes will divide up the chores. I love to cook, so my mom sends me out with some cash and tells me to make dinner. I do a lot more than pasta - I do made-from-scratch soups, fajitas, you name it. So she’s happy - she doesn’t have to cook or eat mediocre food (I’ve heard complaints about my food being so healthy that she’s lost weight). </p>

<p>The working thing is LONG. I think it’s hard for people who are in school to understand what two weeks’ vacation really means. Also, with social security being what it is (i.e. designed to give money to those who lived beyond 65 when the life expectancy was 65, not to be a retirement plan for America), I’m not sure how we can expect to retire. We’ll either pay for a gov’t retirement plan, which means more taxes and less take-home salary, or we’ll work until we’re 75. </p>

<p>I really agree with the poster (CNP?) who said that parents can’t expect their kids to live a different lifestyle in college than in high school. I think kids don’t realize how much stuff costs if they don’t have to buy it for themselves. Yes, they may realize that their pants cost $60, but I don’t think they see that in terms of two weeks of groceries or a month of car insurance. They sure don’t see the wardrobe, the car, the purses in terms of a year’s entry-level salary. How on earth they expect their kids to adjust to life without new Saabs, expensive clothes, and a healthy entertainment budget is beyond me. Then again, my parents never gave me money; I had an allowance that was enough to pay for stuff that I needed and to get pizza with my friends; and anything big was a Christmas present.</p>

<p>Enn: Two words for you: outlet malls. You can get some really nice stuff there, cheap. I’m wearing a Brooks Brothers shirt that I got at a 4th of July sale that set me back a whopping $14.50, which is really what I would have paid at Target for a much lower-quality garmet.</p>

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<p>We don’t really have outlet malls here… </p>

<p>We have the brands and everything. Just not outlets.</p>

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<p>late, when i was 13 my parents said if you want to drive when you turn 16 you better start saving up your money for insurance and a car. i started my job the day after my 14th birthday because that’s what i wanted - to drive and own a car. i bought my first car when i was 16. i didn’t have to work… however, if i wanted to drive, i had to work something out to pay for my insurance and such… </p>

<p>working during high school also actually encourages social interaction - especially if it’s a job where you have to deal with people. you also can meet people that you normally wouldn’t meet during after school activities or sports… maybe people from other schools or people of different age groups… at my first job my coworkers were age 14, 17, 21, 55, 56, 58, 68 and 75. i pretty much grew up around adults and as a result i’m great at talking and relating with them and generation gaps don’t affect me - most of my friends at work are age 40+ and i’m only 23. it also can help people in other ways… especially if the individual is kind of quiet to begin with. they have to socialize with their coworkers as well as their customers (if it’s that type of job). When I was a supervisor at an amusement park, I saw so many quiet kids come out of their shells just by saying hi to the customers who work in the stores that they were working in. It teaches them to get up the courage to talk to people, which can really help later on in life - especially during college with speaking to your professors or doing presentations. </p>

<p>i’m also amazed by how many people don’t like their jobs and act like it’s a chore to go to work… I mean, maybe it’s because i’ve only had my job for a year, but i love it. my company is great, and they treat their employees great, and it’s just a great place to be at. it’s great to know that you’re actually valued as an employee and as a person and that the company respects and recognizes everything that you do for them. today we had employee appreciation day complete with extended lunches, catered lunch, kareoke, volleyball, and carnival games. we also celebrate every silly holiday that we can find - smores day, ice cream sundae day, etc in which our company treats us to whatever that day is. when we’re really busy they buy us lunch on mondays, a few weeks ago i was off a day and came back and found out that our president had given everyone a $20 visa check card to let us know how much he appreciated the job we were doing. we also have a recognition system where your manager can recognize the good job you are doing or you can recognize your fellow employees for the job they are doing. recognitions count as points and you can trade your points in for awards. my one friend recently got a coach purse, and another one got an inflatable boat for fishing. and the 28 days off per year doesn’t hurt either. :)</p>

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<p>fendergirl, I agree with you that working can be a great experience, but I certainly wouldn’t encourage my (future) children to get jobs instead of participating in sports or other equally valuable activities. If my children for some reason did not get involved in sports or theater, then yes I would probably make them work at least during the summer. I for one think sports are really important though and it’s basically impossible to be highly involved in one sport (let alone two or three), get good grades at a really challenging prep school, and hold down a job at the same time. It’s just not going to happen. I wouldn’t tell my kids they couldn’t get a car because they were too involved in sports, which are just as challenging as a parttime minimum-wage job if not much much more, to get a job.
Having said that, I know around here at least parents usually buy their kids cars and hardly any kids I know work during the school year, and many don’t work during the summer either.
If the parents can’t afford a car or something that’s another thing, but if they can afford it I don’t see the reasoning.</p>

<p>I know the principal at my school highly discourages anyone from having a job during the school year regardless of whether they play sports or are involved in time-consuming ECs.</p>

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<p>i think it’s just the area, because in my school district pretty much everybody bought their own cars and pretty much everyone worked…</p>

<p>and i wasn’t saying you couldn’t he part of something. i mean, i was an active member in leo club during high school and also was in a weekly bowling league. i just arranged my work schedule around them. and during college, i was in like 4 clubs or something like that.</p>

<p>im not saying everyone should model themselves off myself or anything like that… i just think that if you don’t work and are expecting an allowance you should at least do something to earn the allowance.</p>

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<p>Yeah, it’s the areas are just completely different.</p>

<p>Well I mean being in clubs or something is very different than being really dedicated to a sport or several, all of which practice 6 days a week for 2-3+ hours each on weekdays during the school year alone.</p>

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<p>Agree with others that the important thing is to keep busy - whether that’s done by playing sports and participating in extracurricular activities or by spending the time working makes little difference. I don’t particularly appreciate the attitude that holding a job is the only way to learn responsibility or time management. Receiving an allowance doesn’t necessarily indicate a sense of entitlement.</p>

<p>I didn’t work during the school year until the second half of my senior year, parents’ rule. Gas prices were higher, my allowance wasn’t, I got a job as soon as my main activity was over and worked weekends for the rest of the year as schoolwork wound down. If my parents had had their way I still woudn’t have worked, and they’re right that there is absolutely no way I could have managed it earlier. In my house, education has always been the trump card. School comes first. In other houses, I’m sure that’s different…but that’s okay. It works for them. Our system worked for us.</p>

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<p>“I don’t particularly appreciate the attitude that holding a job is the only way to learn responsibility or time management. Receiving an allowance doesn’t necessarily indicate a sense of entitlement.”</p>

<p>Exactly. Completely agree.</p>

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<p>I’m 17, and for all of my junior year I worked 20 hours a week as a cashier in a drug store. In a lot of ways, it was one of the best experiences of my life. </p>

<p>I did not “need” to work. My family is upper middle class, and my dad would have been happy to give me money for various expenses like lunches out, outings with friends, etc. In fact, he has never wanted me to have a job. But ultimately, he left it up to me, and I chose to work.</p>

<p>I think that low-wage high school jobs can be a very positive experience. I have known so many kids who have developed this incredible sense of entitlement when it comes to money. A job is fine if your parents can’t pay for you to have nice clothes, a car, or spending money, but if they can, you don’t need to bother. Leave it to those who “have to.” </p>

<p>This bothers me on a lot of levels, and I think it’s a mistake to let yourself think that way. It isolates you from a whole portion of the world around you. There are so many things about working in a low-paying job I just didn’t understand until I did it. There was an entire set of experiences and people I had completely cut myself off from up until that point that having a job exposed me to. Like fendergirl, I learned a lot about interacting with people. I became a much better manager of time. And while my dad was worried my school work would suffer, if anything I came to see even more how important education is, and how lucky I am to have had the incredible luxury of being able to go to college. The people I worked with were, on the whole, smart, dedicated, and diligent, but they never had opportunities like I do. But they were some of the most amazing people I’ve ever known. </p>

<p>I’m not saying that the only way to learn about people, time management, or the experiences of those in lowing paying work to hold a job in high school. And I certainly understand that people have circumstances where it simply wouldn’t make sense. I’m just saying that for me it was an experience that was deeply important in a way that few other high school activities could have been. It gave me perspective. And in the end I think that’s something you can’t underestimate.</p>

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<p>fendergirl, you have to realize that the logistics of your get a job at 14 to save up for a car, buy the car at 16 and pay for insurance, along with everything else might work in your area but won’t work in others. In NJ where I lived you can’t work until 16, and 85% of the employers in the area wouldn’t hire a 16 year old anyway. I literally spent 9 months applying to every place in the county when I was 17 trying to get a job. Then there is the fact that should you get a job as soon as you turn 16, you don’t get a license until 17 so how are you to get there? It’s not as if one of my parents could’ve quit their job to cart me around the city whenever I needed to go to work. Then of course there is the fact that you might make $4000 during the year, your car insurance costs $3000…not to mention the car itself, the gas for it, and then anything else you might want to buy. Sounds great in theory but I have an idea that it just wouldn’t actually work for a good percentage of people.</p>