<p>mantori, my father’s situation wasn’t tragic at all. He didn’t LIKE his identity at all; he was thrilled to have a chance to adopt a somewhat different one. He felt he really became himself at college, and got away from a jackass of a father and a smothering mother very much in the Mrs. Portnoy mold. He felt far more comfortable in the world and in his own skin for having gone there.</p>
<p>The kid next door goes to the same college now, and is in my Dad’s old fraternity. My Dad loved meeting him and chatting about the frat and its history. I never shared that with him.</p>