The dilemma is sometimes that the high functioning student on the spectrum sees themselves and their potential differently than what the objective facts tend to show, considering the challenges with executive functioning and basic challenges such as prioritizing laundry washing when on their own at a university. Once they are an adult and several years out from high school it is very difficult for a parent to tell them they can or can’t do things like attend the university, even if their attendance is rife with challenge. When the goal and hope is for them to eventually become self supporting, its very hard for a parent to simply conclude that they will probably fail and not try to support their attempt to keep trying, even if it prolongs their college years substantially and even if the child seems somewhat objectively unrealistic. It is very hard on the parents to know what is the right thing to do at any particular point in time. Particular when even non-spectrum students can flounder for years.