You don’t have any kids with disabilities, do you, motb? If you did, or if you knew other parents with kids with disabilities, you might realize that some of us know our kids will never be independent and self-supporting.
Moreover, even if our goal is to have our kids independent and self-supporting, we nevertheless don’t necessarily advocate that they try to support themselves as soon as possible. And neither do you. If you did, you wouldn’t have sent your kids to college. Instead, you would have sent them out to get jobs right after high school. But they went to college. Why was that? Evidently because you thought, probably correctly, that they’d have a better life if they had a college education. That is what parents of some kids on the spectrum think too.