<p>Obviously haha. Almost every scout I know that has been to Philmont claims it was their best experience in scouting.</p>
<p>“I am! So working at Philmont is a GOOD thing?!?!”</p>
<p>[Working</a> at Philmont](<a href=“http://www.scouting.org/scoutsource/HighAdventure/Philmont/WorkingatPhilmont.aspx]Working”>http://www.scouting.org/scoutsource/HighAdventure/Philmont/WorkingatPhilmont.aspx)</p>
<p>S can’t wait to get back. As eits25 says, it’s not exactly a camp. Treks, usually of scouts but anymone can form a trek, of about 8-12 teens (minimum age 14) and adults plan a 10 day hike through this area of the rockies. All treks are strenuous, some more so than others. Every few nights they many come to a “manned camp” in which their taught things such as spar pole climbing, rock climbing, blacksmithing, etc. My son is there, in the back country, with about 6-8 others and also helps put on a music show at night. Remember, no electricity or cell. He works 9 days on and 3 days off so he would call every 10 days or so when he went briefly to base camp. The rest of the time he hike or caught a ride to Taos. </p>
<p>Girls and boys work there. 18 is kind of a minimal age. In addition to the back country they need staff for base camp for a variety of jobs and rangers to help with treks. They have very strict alcohol and drug policies. So, I miss S but know he’s safe (besides the whole chased by bears thing) and earning money.</p>
<p>I am a consultant. </p>
<p>I am speaking from my frame of reference; that those who preach the hardest about something are generally not those leading by example.</p>
<p>My family is predominantly Republican. I get tired of hearing about all the “do nothings” collecting money, when I see them exhibiting the same behaviour but they are supported by their spouses.</p>
<p>^^About Philmont;I see. </p>
<p>My D is usually one of the horse handlers, but this year is supposed to be running a drama program. Off 36° or so a week. She loves it, especially the camaraderie among the staff, but it’s not universal. Every year, a few counselors leave after the first few days. so jobs are available later than you might think.</p>
<p>Ahhh…a republican. That explains it. </p>
<p>Just kidding…</p>
<p>To those who say that it’s hard to get a job:</p>
<p>True. And it may even be hard to get a volunteer position. What many people don’t realize is that even volunteers need supervision, training, assistance, etc., and many places now don’t even have the manpower (personpower?) to utilize volunteers effectively. Displaced permanent workers are competing for volunteer positions, too.</p>
<p>Now that we agree that all this is true, it’s also beside the point. If sassafrass’s son can’t get a job, and can’t volunteer, what then? Then he takes over the household chores. He doesn’t complain about the food being served; he buys it, cooks it, serves it to his family, and maybe even cleans up afterwards. He does the laundry. He cleans the bathrooms and vacuums on a regular basis. </p>
<p>That’s what I would expect of my d (who luckily has been able to find jobs).</p>
<p>In other words, he makes himself a useful, productive member of the family.</p>
<p>I’d bet that sassafrass would be quite happy with this attitude, rather than the one she’s getting.</p>
<p>Update: S got a part-time job in his college town working for a non-profit and this position includes a place to live. I could not be happier! He will be home a couple weeks at the beginning and end of summer, which will be perfect.</p>
<p>I am hoping he will also do some volunteer work for another organization and or get another paying part-time job over the summer, but overall I am thrilled at this happy development, and he is too. Thank you everyone for your advice, support and input.</p>
<p>Good News, indeed!!<br>
This will probably do wonders for your relationship, as well - 
Have a great summer!</p>
<p>Twenty-one is the age of majority in NYS. A parent is liable until age 21 unless the child is sooner emancipation. Emancipatory events are marriage, entry into the military service, or a child can emancipate himself when he is self-supporting and refuses to live at home and obey the parents reasonable demands. I could see a parent still being held liable for the child’s torts even if the child claims to be emancipated.</p>
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<p>Probably varies by state but in two states I’m familiar with, if the child is a full-time university student, child support continues to 21.</p>
<p>hooooray!!! so glad you posted an update, and so so glad the news is good!!</p>
<p>now if my dd could just find a job…</p>
<p>So glad this worked out for you!</p>
<p>DS got a job too…yay. He will be living with us for now but we get along just fine when he is working :)</p>
<p>Sometimes enough is enough, and the damage of having someone at home that is just more than you can handle is too much. If that was the case with your son, it would not have been a good thing to have him home this summer. On the other hand, if he were truly left hanging with no place to go, I think you would have to come up with some arrangement, such as at a relative’s place or some $s for him to have a place to stay. Though your son is over 18 and an adult for many purposes, being a college student puts him in a category where society pretty much accepts that you are somewhat responsible for him. You can deduct him as a dependent for tax purposes, you are responsible for meeting college costs to what you want to pay, etc, etc. It’s great he has a job, and this worked out, but you need to think about how your relationship with him is going. </p>
<p>What if he cannot find a job right after school? There are a lot of kids who are stuck without work? Or if he isn’t making enough to live independently? Hopefully, you can help with some alternatives instead of just sticking it to him that he can’t come home. </p>
<p>I’ve come close to throwing some of mine out for cause, but unless there is some true harm to others, I would not do that, and even then try to find an alternative arrangement than just throwing him out and leaving it up to him to find something. If there are some issues like depression, the results can be tragic to do such a thing.</p>
<p>Awesome update!
I was going to post that I understand how you feel. So must have your son. Great news.
I guess I can understand the desire to kick your son out, I sure have felt like it at times, but I don’t think I would actually do it. I will however be letting mine choose between various volunteer opportunities, so he is not just laying around. I have lined up a couple of volunteer jobs for him to check out . He can go to the Humane Society a couple of days a week and do what they need there (cleaning kennels most likely) and he can volunteer at the local YMCA camp for starters. Or he can work on the trail crews or he can sign up on the wildfire crews. There are a lot of things he can do, even if he does not make money doing them. I feel like we <em>hired</em> our son to make it at college. We are paying him a very good <em>salary</em> to learn and be productive and he does not need to worry about making money at this time. But I feel that he should be more than willing to work for some of these places for no income since he is being taken care of by us. We’ll see how that goes LOL</p>
<p>First: terrific!</p>
<p>Second: I hope that this gives both of you time to breathe, reflect, calm down, and then talk about how the family can go forward. </p>
<p>Third: Best would be that your son matures and comes to understand where you are coming from. One summer may not be enough time for that so, if he is showing some signs of growing maturity and responsibility, you may want to consider going a little easier in your discussions (avoid blame, shame, accusations, etc.) but still talk about responsibility, mutual respect, etc. </p>
<p>I so hope that this is a beginning of something better.</p>
<p>Young adults often have a lot of issues that we don’t know as parents. I have known a number of parents who have thrown out their kids, practicing tough love, and ended up with a much worse situation. Sometimes, there comes a point when, they cannot stay with you because it is too unbearable, but I would look long and hard at the situation. I say this as a mom who has many times felt on that cliff.</p>