<p>I’ll admit it. I love my son with everything I have but I am sooo ready to drop him off at college next weekend. He is pushing every button I have :)</p>
<p>There is a theory that the more a child feels loved and secure - the more they are willing to let you see their dark side (while reserving their best behavior for everyone else) because they know you won’t reject them. I try to keep that in mind when son is acting so ‘strong-willed.’ </p>
<p>I really do think a lot of this is the way some kids express their need to separate from the family. Some kids act out more than others but they usually end up fine. I try not to take the bait (not easy some days).</p>
<p>yeah, but what this person stated is that their son’s been a mess for a long time (i.e., this didn’t just start this summer). “tolerance and sharing” are not his strong points? they regret not starting medication? that sounds disastrous, and i wouldn’t want my son (or anyone else’s) to end up having to deal with a person like this. </p>
<p>hopefully ajmorgan’s son’s behavior will improve in college, but he doesn’t sound dorm-ready to me (from the info you’ve shared).</p>
<p>I have an Asperger’s kid, and an unhappy kid. My unhappy kid was just darn difficult to live with. He’s definitely not like my Aspie kid. Nothing pleases him and he usually complains to me as if everything is my fault. He’s a bit of a loner, but he has enough friends that it tells me they enjoy his company. The good news is that he has started to grow up while away at college, whew! That doesn’t make him easy to live with at home, but he’s becoming more mature. Maybe he’s not happier with me, but he has become more outgoing. There are times that I wish i could have “focused on him”, but I can’t undo those choices I made years ago. I was far too busy with my oldest, who has many more issues than my kid who is just plain unhappy and who makes my life more stressful.</p>
<p>By contrast, I also have an easy kid. Finally…I deserved a break! I will be so very sad he’s leaving, but he’s so ready and i’m so happy for him.</p>
<p>I, too, am ready for my D to go to college. We have been seeing less of the “attitude” recently, but it really is just time. I know I will get teary for months, I did when my S left three years ago. And I agree with everyone who says they save their dark side for their families. That is definitely the case here. </p>
<p>I dread the next 4 weeks as all their belongings they are accumulating to take with them pile up all over our small house. I know I will be spending a lot of the Fall picking up the pieces and trying to put the house back together again.</p>
<p>Oops on Kermit. Another thought- sometimes insecurities can make kids and adults more confrontational, less pleasant to be with. Being “strong willed” is a family trait in our household- couldn’t expect two such parents to have a mellow child (inadvertently intimidated, yes- but only in the early years). So true about the face presented to family versus the one the public sees. If you want more support for being normal there are long threads from past years with your worries to read.</p>
<p>Absolutely normal. We run into this all the time talking with our son’s friends’ parents. All you have to do is say something like “Child X is such a polite, friendly kid, you must be so proud,” and the response is always the same: the slow grin, the slight eye roll, and something along the lines of “well, it’s certainly nice to hear that.”</p>
<p>Just a funny memory from when we went to Parent Orientation for DD a few years ago… the college speaker had 6 kids of her own. She said for one daughter she wanted to call up the college and beg, “Could I please drop her off a few months earlier?” After college that same daughter matured and became one of her best friends.</p>
<p>AJMorgan, what <em>I</em> feel guilty about is wishing that it were my younger son instead of my older one going off to college! The older one has always been cooperative, enthusiastic, and respectful, while the younger one is often sullen, uncooperative, and just no fun to be around. So you’re not alone!</p>
<p>I remember thinking that winter break was too long and looking forward to all four kids returning to their respective schools. I hate to say it but they go away and before you know it they are back for long breaks. Four years of college also goes by very quickly and before you know it they may be home again.</p>