An account of some of the less discussed, less savory aspects of Bowdoin

Colleges & Universities Bowdoin College
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<p>I am a refugee from the sixties and treasured the sexual freedom we had. And I had no difficulty settling down when the time came. I have had two husbands (not my choice – first one left but not because of reasons discussed. He didn’t think I earned enough money.)</p>

<p>Both my kids have been in long term relationships in the “hook-up” culture.</p>

<p>I think kids can really find what suits them, but I think an atmosphere that removes stigma is a good one. The hook-up scene at a school like Bowdoin (disclaimer have a kid at Williams, but I consider the environment very similar) doesn’t perturb me the way the scene at a school like Duke does. During the Lacrosse faux scandal there was a lot of ink about the girls throwing themselves at athletes for status. Yuk. Those shades of the sixties devalues women much more than any kind of hook-up or casual sex.</p>

<p>purplegirl – I hear what you’re saying and feel for the women you describe but that was certainly not my experience at all. Self-esteem and doing things for yourself and not to manipulate someone else or buy love is the key, I think. That and excellent education about safe sex, which I’m sure you provide.</p>

<p>I really treasure being a sixties person. It’s not something I ever want to recover from. Both my kids are more conservative than I was, and both have abstained from the hook up scene and done fine. On the other hand, they don’t judge their friends who feel differently.</p>

<p>PS D attended a women’s college and the hook-up scene was just as pronounced, which I hadn’t expected.</p>

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<p>wow!</p>

<p>frankly, I am a little surprised that this would be happening, to such an extent, at a school such as Bowdoin.</p>

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<p>…you’re surprised that “hooking up” happens at college? really?</p>

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<p>no, not surprised that it is happening, but that it is happening so much at a school such as Bowdoin…</p>

<p>I would imagine that parents of women applicants would be a little concerned with this, don’t you think?</p>

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<p>Good luck in finding an elite college where it does’t happen!!</p>

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<p>My D attends another NESCAC school (the one that last year came out with published legislation that it is illegal to have sex in your room while your roommate is there (unless of course they are a consenting participant or avid voyeur) and I can say that “hooking up” appears to be prevalent in high school and college. Guys don’t want to be tied down to one girl when they can get 3 different girls on an weekend or better yet two girls at the same time. How can a young woman who isn’t willing to participate in such activity to compete with those options. The advice is stick to your guns and keep your self esteem in tact. It’s hard to wait but it’s worse to let this type of culture turn you into something you don’t want to be. On a small campus, reputations are lost in a heartbeat. Once people have done the rounds and by around the middle of sophomore year, they start to at least look at things differently. Hooking up is a poor step child to a real relationship. It can not only ruin a reputation, it could kill you!</p>

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<p>well it appears that the hook-ups are all over the place, including elite girls colleges:</p>

<p><a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/12163903-post9.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/12163903-post9.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

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<p>^^^^^^^^lulz</p>

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<p>I love this line from Bowdoinchick: " Many people at Bowdoin, myself sometimes included, hook up with people they like."</p>

<p>Very reassuring that you set the bar so high.</p>

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<p>Jeez… I’m in Mainland China so I cannot read the article in the link. But whatever it is, I am sure it will not scare me away from Bowdoin. I’ve already made my choice to attend. XD
I just gotta say, all colleges have ‘problems’, but some are made more transparent than others. We’re not going to know what it’s really like before actually going to the school. So… don’t make too big a deal out of it.</p>

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<p>Excellent choice and hearty congratulations, Sherry1127! It’s really a special place. I’m glad you recognize that some folks just like to complain and find fault, you know, the bottle is always 1/2 empty rather than 1/2 full. Just keeping working hard (your resume is impressive) and don’t get caught up in petty issues as you often hear on these threads. No college/university is utopia, but few, if any, work harder than Bowdoin to create the best educational environment possible for its students. I wish you all the best!</p>

32

<p>bowdoinchick, I think purplegirl did lend a different perspective- seeing many girls and women over time, and at various stages in their lives. It was illuminating to me and so I want my D’s to see this. And it was not a personal attack. Your openness about your perspective is most appreciated. What was your purpose?
’
Whether it was your purpose or not, it has opened some parents" and students’ eyes. And may start a healthy dialogue between parents, their kids, and even among students.</p>

<p>Someone else has chosen to be open, too.</p>

<p>The hook-up culture may work for you and right now, but it is really an immediate self-gratification. in the moment sort of trend, which does not bode well for developing strong, trusting relationships in the future.
My college D is quite disappointed in this culture (has been to 2 colleges- it is everywhere), and feels that it is keeping the boys from maturing, in particular, and that is unhealthy physically, emotionally for both sexes.
Frankly, this stuff is also pretty dominant in HS and begins in MS.</p>

<p>Freedom for women to have sex as they wish is good. But there also has to be an opportunity to be in monogamous and trusting relationships. My sense is that this is really getting harder. OPTION FOR ONE HAS GONE WAY UP, BUT OPTION FOR OTHER? ??DOWN, I am afraid.</p>

<p>Please do not limit this thread to Bowdoin. It should be a general topic. And not associated with any specific college.</p>