<p>Hi Andi, as a parent of a student also in the college hunt this year, I’ll be looking forward to sharing college stories this year. Glad you and DS are members of “our” class.</p>
<p>
Andi, it’s wonderful to hear this from you. Congratulations on coming through this ordeal with such grace and strength, which will surely count among the most valuable lessons of your son’s college years.</p>
<p>Meanwhile, I want a gap year too, and you certainly deserve one. I think it’s time for you to start planning something fun and exciting for yourself. ;)</p>
<p>Andi, I was away for about a month and have only been back here intermittently, but I am so glad I popped back to see that things are shaping up so well for Andison.</p>
<p>I too can share a story of D being closed out of a program (long, sad story involving this year’s kids picking next year’s group). As a result, she ended up exploring options she never would have otherwise and realized she had talents she did not know about. Making the best of a bad situation is a fabulous life skill!</p>
<p>Andi, your graciousness throughout is a model for us all.</p>
<p>andi,
Having been absent from the cafe for awhile, I decided to return today with the intention of posting a thread inquiring about your S. Look what I find! I won’t repeat what others have, but share in all their good thoughts. This is almost precisely the fantasy gap year I had in mind for him several months ago. Nevertheless, I’m glad it’s not <em>too</em> fantasy, & that he’s taking the courses, so that his academic appetite will continue to be a factor. Have you eliminated all Ivies because of the risk factor, or has he genuinely lost interest in what they have to offer? (I’ll bet the Ivies in particular will like “what he brings to the table” when they see his app including gap year.)</p>
<p>I realized right after I posted this that he may be looking for the best musical performance opportunities possible, which may not be at any or at least most of the schools he applied to last year. It would be terrific if he could get a music scholarship: so many colleges & U’s offer those to promising musicians. Whatever he chooses & whatever acceptances come, I hope that the fin. aid comes right along with it.</p>
<p>Good luck.</p>
<p>Your posts bring tears to my eyes. I feel I’ve gotten to know all of you so well over the past few months and your support has meant a lot to me.</p>
<p>Thumper I’m privileged to be a parent of this year’s admissions process along with you and the other parents of '10. Maybe I can be the sage old voice of experience. </p>
<p>editrix great to hear from you. I think it has been a valuable lesson already and even though he was ‘ready’ to go to college, I think he’ll be even ‘readier’ next year.</p>
<p>wish<em>it</em>was-april glad you popped back in.<br>
Sorry your d had to go thru being closed out of a program by her peers. Feel free to share it here if you’d like. It’s SO tough to see your kid go thru something like that especially when you’re powerless to change anything.</p>
<p>epiphany - pleasure to hear from you too. To answer your question regarding his choice of schools…I think there are a few things going on.
Having to go through this process again has given him plenty of time 
and a HUGE release from the pressure that he had with the process last year. He had so much school work and EC involvement that it was difficult to really sit back and ask himself ‘what do I want and where will I fit in?’ He knew that he was looking for a very challenging school and a music program ‘within’ the liberal arts curriculum and that was about it. This weekend we went to look at a small top LAC that had the highest quality of just about everthing a person could ask for. We spent half a day there including an interview with a professor, an info session and a tour. Afterward I waited to hear his comments. He couldn’t imagine himself fitting in there–and either could I. Not wanting this school that had the best of the best of everything was a liberating feeling. He knew then, that he had come to understand, what ‘he’ wanted in a school.<br>
At the risk of sounding trite, I have to say that he’s looking at the schools now as ‘places’ and not as ‘names.’ We could almost take a sharpie pen and blacken the names of the schools out. And yes, truthfully, there is an element of disillusionment with the Ivy schools he applied to last year. The luster has come off the leaves–for him at least–although they may still be perfectly glossy for others. Basically, we both feel that “he” could get more out of some other environments. There will still be some very top schools, I’m not saying he’s abandoned that quest altogether, they just don’t have vines growing all over them.
He came late in the game last year to realize how much he liked one of the schools on his list and he’s not going to let pride get in the way of pursuing that one again. And he’s got a few others that he’s very interested in. This year’s list is going to be shorter and include several tiers of selectivity. Definitely not more than five schools. Now that he knows what he’s really looking for, he’s been able to find it in a range of schools.</p>
<p>What a liberating and wonderful experience! He is such a mature young man (with a wonderful, caring and supportive mom), and will be happy and successful wherever he winds up. Please keep us posted. BTW, I have this wonderful D…LOL!</p>
<p>Andi,</p>
<p>What a thoughtful post. I can see so much wisdom in what you and your son have been thinking as you approach the college list, and so much others can gain from your experience. I think it will help many who are in the process for the first time look at the issues from your very valuable perspective. I look forward to your sharing in the next few months!</p>
<p>And what a blessing to have the pressure off!</p>
<p>Take care!</p>
<p>No Andi…<em>I</em> have the wonderful daughter and her interests are very similar to Andison’s (sciences/math and music)…and I don’t think we live all that far from one another (plus DS goes to BU so we’re sometimes in that neck of the woods) so…let us know when we can do some matchmaking!!</p>
<br>
<br>
<p>Andi–who was it that informed of the MIT program and encouraged him to apply?</p>
<p>Dear Andi,
I’m not a bit surprised that the time off is allowing your S to reflect more productively. I am surprised that any senior in the U.S., with a demanding schedule of challenging classes & e.c.'s, is able to complete the admissions process satisfactorily without having a nervous breakdown. (Personally that’s what I think of when anyone refers to the “insanity” of it.) My D and I said often to each other last year that in order to maximize results for college admissions, students practically need to take a minimum half-year off – not just for the output & activity related thereto, but precisely for reflection. We want students to come up with the right lists for themselves, but I’m convinced that 50% of the misguided choices, across the board, come from lack of time & psychological space (sometimes away from peers, too), to improve upon these choices.</p>
<p>I just know it’ll be a great result, or possibly several great results.
Question: Does he still have access to his former GC? (I don’t remember whether said counselor was any help or not.)</p>
<p><strong>lol</strong> evitajr and thumper !!! OMG if andison ever knew I’d progressed from discussing his college choices to potential love interests …I can just imagine the look of horror :eek: ha ha Hey if you’re ever in the Boston area let us know!!!</p>
<p>ellemenope I’m not comfortable revealing this person’s identity under these public circumstances, but this person is someone he has known from our community for several years, who was in the position of knowing about his academic record as well as him as a person, and is involved in the university. Since we live in a town very close to Boston, that has a top public school system there are many residents here who work at the area’s colleges and universities. As it isn’t someone I also knew, he was very fortunate that the person cared enough to step forward.</p>
<p>As it turns out, taking a course this way is VERY expensive, so he may only take one, but that’s OK. It will still be a great part of his gap year.</p>
<p>epiphany I am in total agreement with you about the ‘time’ aspect. I don’t know how any of these kids have the time to do all the research, visits, etc. in this process. At a public school such as ours, as good a school as it is, the GCs are simply too overworked to be of much use. They are not only working with seniors, they’ve still got underclassmen to work with as well. This leaves the entire process up to the students and parents. Speaking for my son, he tends to be very involved with his life, and there was precious little time for launching the preliminary search, narrowing the field and really looking in depth at the schools. And then there’s the whole aspect you touched on regarding self reflection. It’s hard to think clearly under such constraints. It would indeed be good for the kids to have a few months off to go through the process.</p>
<p>D will be at Amherst - just down the road!!! And D would want to crawl into a hole if she knew about this, too!!!</p>
<p>Andi:</p>
<p>I sent you a PM.</p>
<p>marite, thanks. I’ve responded.</p>
<p>Well evitajr…if she travels from Logan Airport to Amherst she’ll be going right by our house…</p>
<p>Andi–not interested in the exact person who recommended that he look at the MIT program, but in the “type” of person–GC, teacher, alumni, music friend, etc. with the suggestion that this person should get a nice present for Christmas (or Hannakuh) from andison! </p>
<p>I find that when you are passionate about something, a way opens up (the Joseph Campbell “follow your bliss” situation). I know that as an adult I am willing to go out of my way to help high school students that I barely know if they show a real desire. Glad that a way opened up for andison.</p>
<p>ellemenope Oh, sorry. You are so right! I know he sent a thank you card immediately, but something special this fall in addition to that should definitely be on the agenda.
There’s probably a lot of truth in that. Luckily there are adults like you and this person who do go out of their way to help young people who have shown passion for their pursuits. I know he’ll be forever grateful and will in turn pass along the good deed to others in need of a helping hand.</p>
<p>andi - sorry flying into Hartford. But she will be visiting a friend at MIT off and on. Will let you know. Now, how do we do this without them knowing??? Hmmm…LOL. A little brevity was definitely in order after all you have been through.</p>