Have you seen any of these campuses?? If not, I would do drive throughs. I think Choate & Lville are very similar, but the campuses have very different feels. As others have said, Choate has roads running through it and is part of it’s surrounding area. Lville is self contained with walls/fencing surrounding the property (and an ultimate goal to make the majority of campus car free). I don’t even remember seeing Wallingford when we toured Choate, but Lville has main street across from campus with Starbucks, a pizza place, a bakery, a dry cleaner and another restaurant or two. Princeton is a few miles down the road, and students can uber or take the bus there (in non-covid times) on free afternoons/days.
I do think being closer to home is a huge advantage. There have been many times when we’ve wished we could just take a load of clothes or laundry home for kiddo to do on the weekend and be able to return it to her (unfortunately, we live a plane ride away). And if your child plays sports, it will be that much easier to watch her games.
But both schools are incredible, and I can’t imagine one would be a remarkably better fit for her than the other.