<p>There’s no one right answer 'cause there’s no one model of kid. </p>
<p>One of my kids knew his passion from the age of 2 even though he couldn’t participate in the activity until years later. We have pictures of him as a toddler dressed for Halloween in a fake version of the outfit he now wears as an adult.</p>
<p>Another kid had a lot of interests but needed a little pushing to participate, then became accomplished in a few select activities which she still enjoys.</p>
<p>The third is still dabbling. Push her and you’ll kill her interest. Hopefully she’ll find a thing or two to love but that’s up to her. For now she’s just enjoying exposure to a large number of activities.</p>
<p>At 5, one of mine wanted to own a donut shop. My kid who never got up early. At 10, she knew she was going to be a lawyer, get an MBA, work in fashion and be rich. In about 10th, she picked her academic path, which has zip to do with donuts, law or mba, though she still wants to be wealthy. Next year, as I joke, she may be a barrista. But, she is the person I hoped, back in kindergarten, that she would become. Some rough edges, some lessons yet to be learned, sure. </p>
<p>Of course, we have to guide them. And set standards (including that they try new things, experiment and learn to think. And more.) The problem is when parents use emotional bribery. Or threats of withholding support. Or abuse their power in other ways.</p>
<p>But, did I believe her, at 5 or 10? No. I did, however, talk to her and keep the lines of communicaton open.</p>
<p>I don’t know the ethnic composition on this thread, but mine studied an s-load more than 6 hours/week, from ms on. And, they continue to. I do take some credit for that- encouraging them to enjoy digging in, aiming for some mastery, where they can, and to learn to put forth, even if it’s boring or tough. They found- and still find- plenty of time for the rest of life.</p>
<p>Instead of so easily railing on Asian-American parents, can’t we take some encouragement? After all, as CC-ers so often complain, they are also in music, sports, practicing for those math tests and working on sci fair projects, spending time in cultural schools, making friends- and many of them are surely grounded.</p>
<p>In our house, that 5.6 number is more like a daily count of how many hours my kids spend studying and doing HW. M-F when they aren’t eating, sleeping, bathing and dressing, or engaged in their EC’s they are doing schoolwork. A lot of weekends, it’s the same routine but with church as a must, and an occasional movie or fun outing thrown in if there’s time.
(Kids are half white, half Hispanic)</p>
<p>Homework is the most important activity in her life? Seriously? What will the poor child do once college is over? Become a professional student?</p>
<p>I taught my kids that learning is one of the great joys of life and that it takes place everywhere around you and for your entire lifetime. And I never let their schooling destroy their love of learning.</p>
<p>“In our house, that 5.6 number is more like a daily count of how many hours my kids spend studying and doing HW.”</p>
<p>For a kid doing a full load of PreAP/AP classes, this is about right. I don’t understand how people can do anything in 5-6 hours per week in high school.</p>
<p>PS-- I spend a heck of a lot more than 1.5 hours helping with homework. For example, for the past 7 days, our D’s middle school math teacher decided not to teach. Every day they had to read the book and do the assigned problems in class and at home. So, D had to essentially teach herself how to do the math–something that’s hard for many kids, but especially so for her. In her defense, these particular exercises were rather complicated to boot, such that some of them took me a while to figure out, and I had to call Ivy-graduate S for help on several others. Those took us about 20 min. each working together. </p>
<p>The quality of teaching in our public schools is often pretty poor, so tutoring is necessary for adequate mastery. I do that job myself, rather than pay $80/hr. for it.</p>
<p>I personally don’t think kids ever stick with an EC (sports, dance, music…) without a lot of encouragement from parents. As we know, with some of those ECs it takes a lot of commitment and hard work, and sometimes it is easier to given up then keep on trying. There were many times when my kids were discouraged with ballet, and I had to give them pep talks.</p>
<p>Absolutely. And you’ll probably find a correlation between hours spent studying and high grades/high SAT/ACT scores. Occasionally you’ll hear about the straight A student who doesn’t study but the vast majority put the time in necessary and it sure is more than 5-6 hours per week, especially as you posted if they’re taking advanced classes…I question the methodology of the study as the author lists the average student as studying about ten hours per week in college…Has it really changed that much in thirty years???</p>
<p>I really like this thread, the posts and the posters. Lots of smart and nice people here. I don’t see much anger here, rather lots of love for learning and caring for others.</p>
<p>Two groups of immigrants have lots in common regarding education, Asian and East European. Now, I think it’s universal.</p>
<p>One comment about study time: I think there is a cultural difference with respect to what “studying” is. My kids did their homework, however long that took, and then they were done, unless they were studying for a specific test. Some of their friends, though, were expected to “study” for a certain amount of time every day, whether they had homework and whether there was an imminent test. I’m not persuaded–based on the results–that this approach was much more effective in producing good grades, and it definitely impacted ECs.</p>
<p>My kids had to really prioritize in order to get all of their work done and do their ECs.enough time to study between their ECs. They figured out what they had to do to get As and then they had to move on, no time for perfection. I would have been happy if they had little bit more down time.</p>
<p>I never had to encourage my son to pursue his ECs. Those were for fun, imo. Others can see it differently, of course. He enthusiastically did 7 years of drama, maybe 6 years of dance, music every year, quiz bowl for 4 years. Had he wanted to quit an activity, that would have been ok with me.</p>
<p>The link is to a post by dave_berry (so you can search) and on the front log in page. Looks like we all started with one (everyone gets a medal?) and we’re all “on a distinguished road.” I guess it’s the “like” button.</p>