Announcing the CollegeConfidential Writing Awards for 2004-2005

[jmmom]

<p>

@Greybeard

Your teacher reminds me a little bit about of math teacher I had thirty plus years ago. He wrote on the board on the first day of class, “God helps those who help themselves. Mr. C. helps those who help themselves.” A friend turned to me and asked, “Is he equating himself with God?”</p>

<p>Anytime anyone asked Mr. C. a question, he’d glare at them and tell them to read the book.</p>

<p>I’ve had a couple of conversations since then with my younger brother, as well as some former classmates, and the consensus is that Mr. C. was the worst teacher we ever had, at any level.</p>

<p>What did I do? I passed his class with a lower grade than usual for me, and started another year of school with a better math teacher.</p>

<p>I suspect you’ll do something similar. Sometimes the most valuable thing a teacher can teach you is how to deal with someone who doesn’t wield authority well. Keep repeating to yourself, “this, too, shall pass.” You’ll look back someday and realize that any power this teacher had over you was extremely fleeting. It takes substantially more than one disappointing grade to derail someone who’s headed for success.

<a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/showthread.php?t=65813[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/showthread.php?t=65813&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>I guess I ought to nominate myself for the booby-prize Coward for making the most nominations, but I keep finding great writing and I love this Award thread which dig started.</p>

[jmmom]

<p>mmaah on the thread re sending kids off and going away jitters
<a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/showthread.php?t=66029[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/showthread.php?t=66029&lt;/a&gt;

Normalize, empathize, … </p>

<p>I think it is useful to recall that at every important transition there are “jitters”–and it’s part of falling apart (within some reasonable limits) so you come back together in a new more adaptive way. So I recall, for example, how I thought I had ruined our happy family life for awhile just after the birth of our second when the first was having a meltdown when he realized the second one was really here for keeps…There are wedding jitters and new baby jitters and kindergarten jitters and college jitters and what would be really worrisome would be a kid (or parent) who was completely indifferent and icy calm about the going. Humans paradoxically crave change and resist it like crazy so I think the most useful thing is to normalize it, empathize and try to find something to laugh about while we give in to the tearful moments as needed

</p>

[Alumother]

<p>Just bumping it up so any newbies can enjoy before they get too deep into the throes of their Class of '10 saga.</p>

[jmmom]

<p>Aaah,my second- (or is it third-)favorite thread. I would have nominated several posters recently, but as anyone can see, I seemed to have become a one-woman nominating committee toward the end. So, step forward and nominate some of the great posts we have here on cc.</p>

[SBmom]

<p>To originaloog for absolutely nailing society’s insane amount of pressure on young kids-- in a thread about college students’ depression problems:</p>

<p>

I think that some of the blame falls on the parents of students with stress related mental health problems and the ways in which we are encouraged to raise our children from Mozart in the womb to summer enrichment programs. For too many, our children are unable to be just kids and left on their own imaginations and devices, ie normal child development.</p>

<p>Does anyone think the positive self-esteem movement does our children any good in the long run??</p>

<p>Does anyone think that participation in adult supervised sports programs is preferrable to a pick-up baseball or street hockey game??</p>

<p>Does anyone think that the serial dance practice-music lesson-sport camp-soccer practice lifestyle is a normal one and preferrable to playing in the park with friends??</p>

<p>Does anyone think that summer enrichment programs year after year are preferrable to a job lifeguarding at the lake and games of beach volleyball??</p>

<p>Does anyone really believe that students filling their free time with activities which will look good to adcoms is preferrable to “merely” hanging out with friends and joking around after school??</p>

<p>Does anyone think that stressing out over SAT test scores and feeling a need to devote hours and money to test prep courses is preferrable to spending a few hours in self-prep and letting the chips fall where they may based on their natural ability??</p>

<p>Does anyone think that a hs schedule chocked full of AP and honors classes, the pressure to get straight A’s and the 6 hours of homework a nite is preferrable to a more “normal” schedule of 2 or 3 AP/honors classes and a study hall to get some homework done??</p>

<p>How would we adults fare if we were required to work from 8am to 11pm 9 months a year?? Well that is what some of our CHILDREN feel they must do to get into that dream college!!</p>

<p>No, many of our children have anything approaching a normal childhood. And yet we wring our hands at the problems they encounter when the are left to their own devices. And even then their parents are hovering about via cell phone, IM and text messaging.</p>

<p>The elite colleges are implicit in this by expecting hyper-achieving students as the norm. But they are the norm in quite an abnormal sense. They are the outlyers and the question is what psychological damage was incurred in getting there. If the concern of Harvard and MIT are valid indicators, I surmise that the answer is quite a bit.

</p>

[jmmom]

<p>To carolyn (who else) for guiding us through the process of “knowing the enemy.” Colleges are using sophisticated enrollment management techniques to build the class they want and the revenues they need. Here is how to use that situation to your advantage. </p>

<p>

What would be the best strategy for the middle class BWRK from the northeast?>>
<<i really=“” think=“” those=“” bwrks=“” need=“” to=“” be=“” applying=“” midwestern,=“” southern,=“” and=“” northwestern=“” clones=“”>></i></p><i really=“” think=“” those=“” bwrks=“” need=“” to=“” be=“” applying=“” midwestern,=“” southern,=“” and=“” northwestern=“” clones=“”>

<p>No, saying you should apply to schools where you’ll add geographic diversity is too simplistic. Think broader and deeper.</p>

<p>Here are Carolyn’s rules for figuring this out:</p>

<ol>
<li><p>decide what you want in a college, what would “fit” you. Do not attach any names to this, just decide who you are, who you’d like to be, and what type of school would get you there.</p></li>
<li><p>decide what you have to offer and brainstorm what types of schools would be most likely to place a premium on what you bring to the table.
Again, don’t attach specific names just yet - concentrate solely on types of schools. Liberal arts colleges often have a dearth of males. Universities trying to break into the top 20 or top 30 may need higher SAT scores. Schools known primarily as science schools may need English majors. Schools looking to boost revenues or economic diversity may need kids who can be full pays. Schools down south may want geographic diversity, etc. Even kids with SATs in the 1000’s have something to offer some school.</p></li>
<li><p>Compare your answers to question 1 and question 2. Re-evaluate what you’re willing to compromise on. </p></li>
<li><p>Start identifying schools where your answers to question 1 and question 2 best match up. However, cast a wide net — and build your list from the bottom up, not the top down, because the schools at the bottom are probably the most likely to pay a premium when what you have to offer and what they need match up. </p></li>
<li><p>After you’ve identified the schools that best match up question 1 and question 2 for you specifically, it’s ok to throw in a few long shot schools that may not particularly need or want what you have to offer but still rock your socks. Keep in mind, however, those schools ARE long shots, and try to avoid falling in love with them to the point where you are blinded to the other, better match schools on your list.</p></li>
<li><p>Target all of your application materials to demonstrate what you have to offer. Every aspect of your application should tie into this as much as possible (this is the tricky part) — a true “hook” isn’t just offering something, it’s offering something that the school really wants/needs.</p></li>
<li><p>Never forget that the “perfect” school isn’t just the one you want, it’s the one that also wants you.

</p></li>
</ol>
</i>

[mootmom]

<p>Ben Jones (benjones), who is both an MIT admissions/communications person and a parent himself, has posted one of the most eloquent explanations I’ve seen of the right way to look at “selective college admissions”. I won’t quote the entire post here, since its long, but I encourage you to read it all (link to it is here). Very nicely put, Ben: thank you. </p>

<p>Some excerpts:

[T]he students who are happiest here are those who thrive on challenge. Most of our admits have taken AP math and science because they would have been bored silly in the regular classes. Indeed, they genuinely wanted to take those classes. They don’t look at MIT as the prize; they look at MIT as the logical next step. It’s an important distinction. . . .</p>

<p>There is only one coin. There are many sides to the coin, but there is only one coin. And you can flip it however you like.</p>

<p>So when a parent says to me, “Why does HYPSM put so much emphasis on AP’s?” I reply “Why do you put so much emphasis on HYPSM?” . . .</p>

<p>There are literally hundreds of amazing colleges and universities out there (some of which actually admit kids with no AP’s!). Many of them would actually be better matches for your child. Many of them would provide your child with a better education. Most importantly, many of them would ultimately give your child a greater sense of happiness and fulfillment. The right match will do that.</p>

<p>And the match goes both ways. We try to determine if your kid is a good match for MIT. Your kid should be trying to determine which school is the best match for him/her. As a parent, what are you doing to help him/her figure that out?

</p>

[jmmom]

<p>moot - the full post is well worth reading and beyond eloquent.</p>

[doddsdad]

<p>Another nomination for Curmudgeon from the Handshake thread. </p>

<p>Quote:
Originally Posted by nunofyurbeesnknees
I actually think Donald Trump is on to something - he doesn’t shake hands with people. </p>

<p>Aaah. I might can be of some help here. That is due to the fear that a hearty handshake would undermine the integrity of the complicated flying buttress and levee system used to hold the Donald’s hair in place . The resulting “hair tsunami” or “hair surge” could cause significant property damage. This threat prompted insurance underwriters to insist on a very stringent "no handshake " clause on page two of “the Policy”. (See also Page 3 of “the Policy”, “Convertibles” and Pages 4 through 135 , “Limitations on Sexual Activity”. )</p>

[SBmom]

<p>Maybe the perpetual smirk is also a byproduct of the Donald’s complicated hairdo engineering?</p>

[sybbie719]

<p>***The so let them eat cake award - ***</p>

<p>To Coureur for Are ECs really important?</p>

<p>Sure they are important. Your grades, coursework, and test scores are the cake, and the ECs are the frosting. But so often these days many of the cakes are excellent. So it comes down to who did the best job with the frosting.</p>

[cheers]

<p>Hair tsunami.</p>

<p>love it.</p>

[sybbie719]

<p>Cowards award for balancing art and science in admissions </p>

<p>to Robyrm (welcome back you were missed) </p>

<p>*Forget random, forget unpredictable…</p>

<p>There is the SCIENCE of college admissions.
There is the ART of college admissions.</p>

<p>Art is not random. Art is not unpredictable. Art is interpretable and intangible, art is in the eye of the beholder, art is compelling, art is novel, art is honest.</p>

<p>The creation of the art doesn’t start in the last year of high school, the creation of the art starts years before…the application is a proxy, albeit a key one, for a long and loving process. *</p>

[jmmom]

<p>To Faline2 for her musings on the last moments of the college app process, from the parent perspective. In curmudgeon’s Things Not to Do thread:</p>

<p>"My S was still working on his Eagle Scout project Thanksgiving week of his senior year. Not recommended, ahem. During the late autumn weeks when he last-minute visited four colleges and did his seven apps, I was devoting motherly attention (the three minutes a day I spent not thinking about S) by shooting hoops with NIYS (Neglected Invisible Younger Son) and noticed my eyes wouldn’t coordinate–about a three second delay on focusing. This was new. Whoah! You have heard of hysterical blindness? Not that bad…my eyes only delayed focusing about once every ten minutes. NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. Unless you are driving on an expressway. Went to the doc but didn’t show for my CAT scan…I knew it wasn’t a tumor. It was College App Fatigue Syndrome. Or Post-Mark College Apps on Deadline Dates Disorder. (Valium might have done the trick to restore my vision, but the only time I had thirty of those babies the plumber stole the whole bottle in 1982.) In mid- December, the Apps were laid out in neat stacks on our DR table like so many long lost cousins, and we stood around and looked at them as if they were mutants. Check, double check on each criteria list for each college, then stuffed them in envelopes, then take them out and recheck. It was like “did I leave the iron on?” times a hundred. Could a little stack of paper really define S as a human being and decide his fate? Yes, they can! The little stacks of paper were bewitched! In some ways, it was also hard to mail the the apps because S can only attend one college, and putting them in the mail meant being one step closer to saying goodbye forever to six wonderful versions of tomorrow. As long as the stacks remained on the DR table, all those futures were still possible. "</p>

[jmmom]

<p>Blossom’s wonderful post on Senior Parent Advice to Junior Parents had me resurrecting this thread:</p>

<p>I need to repeat my biggest piece of advice for the newbies–Love the kid you have, not the kid you wish you had. It’s so easy to parent the kid who gets good grades, plans ahead, asks for help, has focus and direction, and exhibits maturity beyond his years. For those of you w/alpha kids-- congrats. </p>

<p>For everyone else, try to keep perspective. Not everyone is curing cancer at age 16 and winning athletic competitions and studying Latin in their free time “just because”. Not everyone is avidly checking out online course catalgues during jr year or cultivating relationships w/their GC during sophhomore year or writing letters to their congressman to see if theyneed help drafting legislation over winter break.</p>

<p>Our kids get into college, too. Some are late-bloomers and really take off just as the over-achievers are burning out. Some are just lazy. Others would rather watch Law and Order re-runs intheir spare time then get on the treadmill of life they see their classmates on.</p>

<p>It is surely harder to be a parent to the kid on the sofa than the one who is valedictorian and winning athletic competitions… but someone’s got to do it.</p>

<p>My sofa kid is graduating from college in a few months. Hard to believe.</p>

<p>P.S. I guess we’ll have to extend the award season into 2006. :)</p>

[driver]

<p>That was a really nice, well written post.</p>

[soozievt]

<p>JmMom, that truly is a great post! </p>

<p>I didn’t remember that you had an older kid as well. Well, he made it (almost!). </p>

<p>I truly do think you gotta go with the kid you have. I know you were mentioning the TV watchers and video game players, etc…but this is true for all sorts of kids you might end up with…and in fact, I found myself making your exact point over the weekend when I met some other parents for the first time. It came up that my youngest child went off to college in Manhattan this past fall and was still 16. I understand the reactions of how they could never do it or all the things I might have said myself if someone had told me their child did this! All I can say is that I did not plan it this way or choose this but this is the kid I’ve got and for those who really know her, they know this is the way she is…it was all her idea…she is very driven kid, has been this way from day one…has known what she has wanted to do…has been advanced intellectually, socially, and personally and so this step “fits” her, but it is not like something I wished for or some will react and say, “wow, you must be proud of her for graduating early” or something along those lines but that is not really it…what she has done is not better or something but it is simply “her”. If you had told me I’d let my 16 1/2 year old from a rural upbringing loose in NYC to do the stuff she is doing, I’d have said, “I don’t think so” but here I am with a kid doing just that who is totally in her element and I accept that because I truly understand where she’s at in her life. So, while I don’t advocate this for all kids and I likely would look askew at someone who told me their kid did it, I have gone with the flow of who I have and this path was right for her. And so your post is so true for all types of kids…be it the couch potatoes, the 13 year olds going on 30, you name it!</p>

<p>Susan</p>

[Alumother]

<p>Now that you have resurrected this - all newish people MUST MUST MUST search this thread for Moundbuilders and see how much fun cc was in the Dark Ages…</p>

[jmmom]

<p>Soozie - that was blossom’s post. and her kid. I guess I should’ve put it in quotes. Too late now. But the kudos go to blossom.</p>

[jym626]

<p>Alumother- Lets make it easy for the newbies. Here’s the link to the urban moundbuilders and platers thread. A true classic. <a href=“http://www.collegeconfidential.com/cgi-bin/discus/show.cgi?70/25523[/url]”>http://www.collegeconfidential.com/cgi-bin/discus/show.cgi?70/25523&lt;/a&gt;
**With thanks to Marite who helped resurrect it on a thread about helicpoter moms a few months back, and to jmmom who retrieved the link.</p>