<p>I found an entire roll of toilet paper festooning that bathroom when D1 was about 4. When I called her in to comfront her, she looked at the mess, put her hands on her hips, and said in a very firm parental tone, “Mommy! I’m VERY disappointed in myself!” </p>
<p>I didn’t even try to hide my reaction.</p>
<p>S2 had some strange obsessions as a young child (junk mail, the phone, tools, MONEY, coins, etc). One obsession was cleaning at a very young age. He’d go thru Windex and paper towels. When he was 3, he BEGGED my mom to buy him a Dustbuster. She did.</p>
<p>When he was at that same age, one day my H left a $100 bill on the kitchen counter. A few hours later it was gone. Knowing that S2 had a money obsession and was likely fascinated by this “different looking” dollar, I asked him, “did you see a special dollar?”. His eyes lit up and said, “oh yes.” “Where did you put it?” I asked. S2 replied, “I took it to the bathroom.” I asked, “what did you do with it?” Son happily replied, “I washed it.” ugh, I thought…he probably flushed it. I went to the bathroom and there it was on the counter…all sudsy…but very clean!!</p>
<p>When DS went to his first piano recital, he walked to one side of the piano bench, bowed, and then climbed the bench on his hands and knees. While he was climbing up there, his butt was facing the audience in the small recital room. The audience could not resist laughing at it.</p>
<p>Both the teacher and we forgot to teach him how to get onto the bench. (I think there was a specially designed small wooden stool in front of piano bench for young children to step up to the bench. At home, he climbed up the bench in this way as we did not have that special stool.)</p>
<p>I think he insisted on performing the “Christmas Day Secret” piece (and as fast as he could manage to) just because at one time some kid had mentioned it is the hardest (from the kids’ point of view, faster = harder) piece in Book 1. Oh…he was obsessed about being a cowboy, and wanted to dress like one - and both the teacher and we let him.</p>
<p>My nephew just turned 3, and lately he’s been on a kick about money. Just before Christmas, when his parents asked him what he wanted, among other things, he kept asking for “cash.” His mom thought this was weird so she brought it up with his speech therapist, who asked him why he needed cash, to which he responded “Toys R Us!” Then, she asked him what he was going to get. “Get games with cash!”</p>
<p>So recently, the family went to his third birthday party, and my brother, husband and I went in on a card stuffed with small bills (not a lot of money, but mostly in ones). Of course, the 3 year old doesn’t really know what to do with a card, and at first the money fell out of it without him realizing. A few moments later he noticed it and it went something like this.</p>
<p>“Cash…!”
“MONEY!” <em>begins gleefully tossing handfuls of dollars into the air</em>
“MONEY! MONEY! MONEY!” <em>gathers up the dollars and neatly stacks them</em></p>
<p>These are so funny!</p>
<p>I heard this one from the teacher’s aid in S2’s Pre-K class. They were making “robots” and my S was finished and enjoying playtime with his new friend. The aid tells my S what a good job he did and asks what’s his robot’s name? “I call him Mr. Buttocks!”</p>
<p>I hear this from her the following week and learn that all her friends and family got a kick out of it…she told everyone she talked to the story all weekend long! I am a little embarrassed and wondering just where he got it from. I figure he must have heard it from something that S1 watches on TV. So THAT IS IT…I proclaim that S1 is hereby forbidden from watching Rugrats or Spaceballs or any other potentially “harmful” shows in front of his younger brother. </p>
<p>I later discovered he learned it from one of my exercise videos.</p>
<p>Teacher for admission interview (yes) for DD, age 5: What’s this? [a doll wearing a white dress]</p>
<p>DD: Its a bride.</p>
<p>Teacher: What does ‘bride’ mean?</p>
<p>DD: It means she’s going to have a baby very soon.</p>
<p>Our kids had to get tested for K admission. The test (ERB) was done 1:1 between the tester and student, parents were not allowed to be in the room.</p>
<p>D1 was very shy when she was little, so I told her that I would give her a lollipop and a toy if she behaved herself and answered all questions. She looked happy when she came out and later I found out she did very well. She got her lollipop and a doll later as I promised.</p>
<p>My friend’s son, same age as D1, was always very out going and talkative. She had a hard time to get him to be quiet sometimes. She tried to ask D1 what kind of questions they asked, D1 couldn’t remember anything, but my friend wasn’t worried. When her son came out he said, “Mommy, you would be so proud. You told me not to talk to strangers, so I didn’t say anything to the man.”</p>
<p>oldfort, I laughed out loud at that one!</p>
<p>My S1 used to suck his thumb. He had a teddy bear with many ribbons tied around its neck. He would cuddle the bear, flick the ribbons with one hand, and suck his thumb on the other hand. We called this “smoking the bear,” and it was a hard habit to break. </p>
<p>When he was about 5 or 6, he went to visit my parents for a week in the summer. My mother, a kindergarten teacher, decided that this would be a good time to help him break the thumb-sucking habit, so she made him leave the bear upstairs during the day. After a long day of adventures and playing with with his grandmother, S1 was tired. He announced to my mother, “Omi, I just need to go upstairs and have a smoke!”</p>
<p>The first time H and I left S1 with a babysitter other than family, I promised him that we would bring him back a present.</p>
<p>After dinner, H and I stopped at a bookstore, picked out a nice book, and had them gift-wrap it.</p>
<p>When we handed our son the wrapped-gift, he whined, “That’s not a present, that’s a book. A present looks like a toy!”</p>
<p>Our favorite Kindergarten teacher, Mrs R, tells this story…</p>
<p>In Calif, years ago, Kindergarten teachers were expected to know how to play the piano which was used during rug time. </p>
<p>Mrs. R barely knew how to play, but did the best she could.</p>
<p>One day her students had a substitute teacher. The next day, she asked the class how they liked the sub. </p>
<p>One little girl said, “She was nice but she couldn’t play the piano as well as you can. She had to use TWO hands.”</p>
<p>I was picking up my daughter at preschool and the teacher presented me with a picture she had drawn that day. It was a mommy and daughter picture…adorable as the child …my daughter… was so small next to the mommy (me) and wrapped around the mommys leg. It was all in purple except one large red area–mid body on the “mommy”.
I say to my daughter …“its beautiful! Pointing to the red area…look, is this mommys heart all filled with love for you?” and she replies, very loudly so the teacher and several other parents can hear…“no mommy…those are your pretty red underpants!”</p>
<p>Yikes!</p>
<p>BTW…the “underpants” picture has been framed and still hangs in an upstairs hallway to this day…makes me chuckle everytime I look at it!</p>
<p>Katiemom…priceless!! At least she didn’t tell you how big your bum was, like another sweet little darling did!</p>
<p>Kids…gotta love 'em. And develop a healthy sense of humor to survive childhood. But I’m guessing most of us would go back again. Maybe for a while, anyway!</p>
<p>These are great!!</p>
<p>When my D was about 3 she was throwing (as someone above said) the Mother of All Temper Tantrums…in her room. I could hear things being tossed around and moved around. I waited a very long time (or so it seemed) until I finally couldn’t stand it any more, and went into her room, and tried to startle her, hoping it would be enough to make her get a grip. I had my bathrobe in my hand when I went in, so I slammed it down on her bed (oh yes, like THAT was going to make an impact) and shouted, “What is going on in here?” With huge tears streaming down her face, through sobs she said, “I can’t find my blankie…and get your g-d da-med robe off of my bed!”</p>
<p>I nearly died laughing, but instead just walked out (can’t let her see me laughing at her cursing at me, right?) and called my mom. I told her, “Mom, I’m in big trouble…she just swore at me, IN CONTEXT!” My mom laughed so hard and said, “I wished this child on you!”</p>
<p>I’ve told this one before as well, and it probably isn’t as funny out of context, but I’ll try:
We were visiting a relatively newly formed, and pretty small religious congregation. At the end of the service the call the children up and offer them som ejuice and bread. My S#1 loudly anounces to the clergy, when handed the little cup of apple juice, " apple juice gives me diarrhea!" I must have turned every shade of red, and we still chuckle about it to this day when the kids are called up at the end of the service.</p>
<p>One of my nieces (age 2 at the time) pronounced ketchup at “cat soup” and worried about where it REALLY came from…she also pronounced “fork” and well, you can figure THAT one out. Was pretty amusing to hear her at my parents shouting, “Mom, I need a F**K!”</p>
<p>Oh gosh, some of these posts have me in stitches.</p>
<p>I was reminded when D was in preschool and their mother’s day project was a class cookbook. The children were asked to draw a picture of their favorite dish their moms cooked. The pictures were photocopied and each mom received one. Other kids declared their moms’ spaghetti or mac n cheese" as their favorites.
My D’s entry was “I love it when my mom cooks McDonald’s.” with a drawing of an egg mcmuffin.</p>
<p>Lol, lilmom! Kids always have your back, don’t they?</p>
<p>I remember when our kids were in preschool and had scented felt pens. The kids all agreed that the purple one smelled like Dimetap (a “grape” flavored antihistimine). </p>
<p>My relatives say when they grow up, they want to be like their dad–go around and drink coffee with everyone (he’s actually in-house counsel at a bank, but he tells them he drinks a LOT of coffee).</p>