<p>Last year I filled the sugar bowl with salt, and woke up to my H howling at his tea!! I also put in tiny specks of green food coloring in the corners of the kids’ milk glasses…you should have seen their faces when they poured in the milk.</p>
<p>No one got the saran over the toilet bowl or any of thos kind of gags? We were out with our neighbors for dinner and my younger s. was babysitting for their son. We were out about 4 hrs. When it came time to pay him, instead of pulling out big green bills, the hubby pulled out some small change from his pocket (we’d plotted this over dinner). Ooohhh, we are mean… .</p>
<p>Gutmann named Harvard president </p>
<p>[April 4, 2006</p>
<p>Harvard University’s search for a new president is over, but Penn will now have to begin its own.
At a press conference yesterday evening, Penn President Amy Gutmann announced her resignation – effective this June – and her plans to take the reins at Harvard.</p>
<p>The decision was last-minute, she said, and was attributable to personal goals, rather than Penn’s character.</p>
<p>“I have learned so much during my time at Penn, and I sincerely appreciate the hospitality and kindness of the whole Penn community,” Gutmann said. “But now it is time for me to move on to a place that is, frankly, more famous.”</p>
<p>Gutmann returns to her alma mater with several major goals to reform what many call the world’s top University. She outlined her top three priorities at the press conference yesterday, calling them the Harvard Compact.</p>
<p>One of its major tenets is to attract more female faculty members Harvard, which has a reputation for disregarding the work of women in the sciences.</p>
<p>The news shocked Penn administrators, who expressed outrage at Gutmann’s betrayal of a school that welcomed her with open arms less than two years ago.</p>
<p>College Dean and Mathematics professor Dennis DeTurck – usually known for his pleasant countenance – punched a man standing next to him in the face after the announcement.</p>
<p>“If we had known she would turn out to be the village bicycle of the Ivy League, we never would have hired her,” he said. “A Ph.D. from Harvard, provost at Princeton, president at Penn, and now back to Harvard. I’m so enraged, I could do an algorithm wrong!”</p>
<p>Harvard’s lame-duck president Lawrence Summers expressed his displeasure with the Harvard trustees’ decision.</p>
<p>“I’m truly appalled that they would choose a woman, let alone a blonde,” Summers said at a press conference in Harvard Yard yesterday. “Why would they want such an emotional and intellectual midget at the helm of the best university in the universe?”</p>
<p>Harvard’s search committee stands behind its decision. A press release from the committee cited Gutmann’s “style and adorable mannerisms” among the reasons she is the perfect candidate.</p>
<p>“Harvard has a long history of presidents who were academically qualified for the job,” the report said. “We thought it was time for a change.”</p>
<p>Gutmann’s decision will leave Penn officials with just five months to find a replacement. Penn Provost Ron Daniels said that he has already drafted his letter of intent for the job.</p>
<p>“I strongly believe that my year of experience at Penn, combined with the work ethic and charm I picked up in Canada, makes me a fantastic candidate,” Daniels said.</p>
<p>When Penn does announce its pick, experts believe it will choose someone as attractive – if not more so – than Gutmann.</p>
<p>“Penn is definitely the insecure middle daughter of the Ivy League family,” said John Q. Education, vice president of the Federal University and College Knowledgebase. “It needs a pretty face to feel good about itself.” </p>
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<p>I don’t know how I missed this thread originally. Happy belated birthday, momofthree!</p>
<p>Our daughter has pulled a couple of April Fools gags on us … three immediately come to mind:
- The year she hid one shoe from each pair in our closet.
- The year she poured out the remainder of the mouthwash and replaced it with blue water and salt.
- Last year when she called ‘crying’ … telling me she had wrecked her car … I said “Are you hurt? I’m on my way … where are you?” to which her reply was hysterical laughter. That was SOOOO not funny. As a matter of fact, just thinking about it makes me angry all over again. I might just have to yell at her again when she gets home. ;)</p>
<p>Some people on my floor (I’m in a dorm) filled the hallway with hundreds and hundreds of balloons during the night. In the morning we had to wade through knee-deep balloons to get out. It was also very amusing to dive into them. The cleanup was hell though.</p>
<p>The same people, earlier in the year, got some of that orange mesh stuff from a construction site and duct taped it over everyone’s doors (with a gap at the bottom that you could crawl through) with a notice saying that the hallway was closed for construction and we’d have to go out the windows.</p>
<p>
too funny!</p>
<p>My brother e-mailed me on April Fool’s Day to say that he’d just bought himself a brand new BMW convertible. I was spitting tacks when I read it, because I’d just cosigned a loan for his daughter to go to grad school. Turns out it was an April Fool’s joke…good thing…He really had me going there!</p>
<p>dke-
Dont ya just love sibling rivalry? That was pretty funny!</p>
<p>I can’t believe how at this age we all still know how to push each other’s buttons! He’s 60 and I’m 50, and sometimes its just like we’re 5 and 15 again. Amazing, jym626!</p>
<p>My son brought me a progress report from algebra with a grade of 10.1%. Now, I am pretty easily fooled, but I was having a hard time figuring out how he went from an A to a 10%. Turns out he had found it on the floor, changed (in pencil) the other kid’s name to his and Algebra I to Algebra II. I guess I was semi-fooled because I just figured he had missed a test and still needed to make it up or something, but still, a 10%.</p>
<p>I asked him if he didn’t think it was really sad that a kid could get a 10% in math, but he just thought that was funny. I, however, have been worrying about the other kid ever since.</p>