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<p>I don’t think that was clear from how you posted, because you used the word “and” to describe what turned-off your D. You also referred to the prefrosh as “ignorant,” which I assumed to mean in reference to not having heard of Pomona.</p>
<p>Um entomom I think you are being way too critical of those prefrosh – i totally agree with them without REALLY good reasons choosing pomona over yale is inane, because from a great campus culture to great academics to great prestige yale has a lot of what people are looking for, and many would kill to get in. Obviously if she has REALLY good reasons then maybe she should pick pomona, but I would also be incredulous along with those prefrosh that she would consider it if she didn’t provide really good reasons (i.e. full ride & financial issues). If you said something like “Some of the prefrosh that she met had never heard of Pomona and still questioned why she would even consider a no-name college rather than Y despite having a full ride to the no name college.” i would totally agree that those prefrosh may be acting presumptuously, but really if your daughter was like “well I’m torn between yale and ponoma I’m just not sure which is best for me…” then my jaw would drop just like theirs.</p>
<p>Pomona is one of the best LACs in the country in one of the most idyllic location in the country. If entomom’s D2 chooses Pomona over Yale she will not be the first nor the last cross-admitted student to do that. Aside from the fact that Yale and Pomona are academically quite similar for undergrads, Pomona has an excellent reputation and the name comes with a lot of prestige. Not as much prestige as Yale, but as much as Amherst or Swarthmore, and that is plenty of prestige.</p>
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<p>yep, a lot parents seem to pull for Harvard simply because its OMG HARVARD! and want the highest level of prestige to validate their parenting. My dad actually said we’ll “settle” for Yale when he found out I didn’t get into Harvard. Ridiculous.</p>
<p>“yep, a lot parents seem to pull for Harvard simply because its OMG HARVARD! and want the highest level of prestige to validate their parenting. My dad actually said we’ll “settle” for Yale when he found out I didn’t get into Harvard. Ridiculous.”</p>
<p>OK everyone. I cannot imagine that the majority of kids who decide to attend Harvard do so because they are being brow beaten by their parents. My D just left Visitas and loved it. She still has a visit to Stanford planned, but if she chooses Harvard, it will be her choice, not mine.</p>
<p>^I wasn’t writing about kids who choose to go to Harvard. My comment only referred to certain parents who are set on their kids going to Harvard.</p>
<p>^I understand. I just found the posts were getting a little too heavy with “if kid chooses Harvard, then *only *because the *poor *kid’s parent is forcing him/ her to do so”. I like Yale a lot, mind you, but ALL of D’s choices (including Harvard and Yale) are absolutely fantastic!</p>
<p>dignified1</p>
<p>you sound like a very supportive parent, and your daughter is lucky to have you. </p>
<p>i didn’t understand the other posters to be suggesting that there weren’t supportive parents like you – who are okay with whatever choice their child makes. the other posters were observing a phenomenon that you and your daughter are obviously not part of. they also weren’t suggesting that it’s the preponderant force in yield at that school. </p>
<p>i had read the other comments simply to suggest that there ARE parents who DO have certain preferences in mind for their child (perhaps that’s something that the school hopes to capitalize on with the parent t-shirts – who knows? and i don’t even know whether they still do the parent t-shirt give-away).</p>
<p>some posters have suggested that this parent-preference thing may be a cultural thing. (of course, it might not be) if it IS culturally based, it wouldn’t be the first or the last instance of that in history. it could be a GOOD thing for a school to have cultural groups that want their strongest students to go to that particular school. it might affect the make-up of the school and mean that a higher percentage of the class is from that culture (thereby – arguably – making it even more comfortable for students of that group to attend). for instance, it’s my understanding that there was a preference for Columbia among many Jewish families in the early to mid 20th century. Columbia benefitted from that, and it had a strong Jewish presence during those years. and, during that same time, southern families often (NOT ALWAYS!) preferred Princeton over Harvard and Yale. that made Princeton slightly more culturally southern than Harvard or Yale. </p>
<p>congratulations to your daughter on her wonderful choices.</p>
<p>Bear in mind that many of the Yale students who didn’t get into Harvard may be attending Yale solely or largely because it is the “highest ranked” school they got into. I’m not saying that that is a good reason, but the idea that the phenomenon of kids choosing schools based on prestige is limited to Harvard is ridiculous… it happens everywhere, especially in the Ivy League. There are many excellent reasons to choose Harvard over Yale, and the vast majority of students who choose between the two take their decision very seriously. Cross admits who came here solely because its “Harvard” are an extremely small percentage of the student population, and I would bet that the proportion is similar at other top schools.</p>
<p>bump 10 char</p>
<p>My son is choosing Brown over Yale, but did not attend ADOCH. Can you share what you didn’t enjoy? Thanks.</p>
<p>My D choose Yale over Harvard, a very hard decision. As parents we wanted her to make up her own mind, they are both excellent schools and we felt she could not go wrong either way!</p>
<p>Haha EAO1227 I think we would have to agree with that assessment. I actually have a friend who turned down Yale for Notre Dame this year, granted he has a full ride to ND. I doubt that’s a common decision however.</p>
<p>Irishevan-I was responding to the posters who were saying that parents put pressure on their kids to pick Harvard over Yale. D met a lot of cross admit prefrosh’s and know at least 6 or 7 who picked Yale. Know there are more, these are of the kids she met. There are a lot of reasons to pick colleges other than prestige, I think people who pick a college purely based upon that could miss out. Notre Dame may have some things your friend liked that Yale doesn’t have -although I am sure the money helped. Good luck to you and your friend! According to the friends I have who are Norte Dame Alumni it the ONLY school anyone should consider!!! :)</p>
<p>Thank you EAO that’s very kind of you. And I agree that it would be crazy for parents to force their children to choose Harvard over Yale for whatever reason. There doesn’t objectively seem to be a significant difference between the value of either education, and the choice should be a matter of personal preference.</p>
<p>My D might be turning down Yale for Stanford … the later seems a bit more energetic, on-trend, “fun and smart” … we’re also concerned about the social dynamics of Yale.</p>
<p>TALEZL, What concerns you about the social dynamics of Yale? My D finds that one of the best things about Yale. Kids are amazingly friendly (something she was initially suspicious of! LOL) She came back from Bulldog Days saying, everyone was so friendly but she wondered if that was just to impress the prospective students. She can happily say that it is not the case, they are friendly all the time! She loves the residential college feel and the sense of community. Also there is tons to do on weekends she is never bored and there is something for everyone. Of course Stanford does have the great weather but D found the campus too large and not as intimate. Good luck with your D’s decision, there are no bad choices there!</p>
<p>Tal: I was Yale undergrad but constantly visited Stanford (long distance GF) and found their social set up not as desirable as Yale (such as EAO has mentioned). Has she visited both? I concur with this statement: “Stanford does have the great weather but D found the campus too large and not as intimate.”</p>
<p>This thread started out asking the question
</p>
<p>8 pages and 117 posts later we have about 5 answers to that specific question.</p>
<p>Can we bring this thread back to that simple question and keep your answer to just that?</p>
<p>I am turning down Yale to go to _________________</p>
<p>^Since this thread has never been that, and since it’s a different admissions cycle, please start a new thread citing your intent that posters simply post schools w/o comment.</p>