We didn’t really meet any admins, but I did feel awful guilty about the schools that offered a lot of merit money!
Our daughter had grown very fond of two admissions officers who were incredibly kind to her. One AO had gone to bat for her in regard to that schools top merit scholarship, the other was just so decent and warm with his interaction with her and the comments he had made about how much he enjoyed her application.
The AO from the merit scholarship college did not respond to her heart felt note to him, I actually wonder if he was negatively effected by her not enrolling. I found it so odd that he hadn’t responded.
The other AO was completely understanding and genuinely wished her well.
Students and families are so emotionally invested in the admissions process it is really helpful when AO’s come from a place of decency.
I go above and beyond for every student to whom I extend an offer of admission. If they end up turning us down … it’s my job, and I know that a certain percentage will say no. That’s the nature of the beast. Sometimes I get really nice emails or calls, thanking me for everything I have done for them. Those are nice to receive. 
We experienced this with both my sons. The first was deferred & then later accepted by his ED school. He never made a good connection, despite a few emails & a hand written letter (which never got a reply until he was accepted), with his AO there, who left for a peer school by the time my son arrived on campus in the fall. But he also got into his other top choice EA, and loved that admissions officer, with whom he had several warm exchanges. It was really hard to decline both bc he respected & liked the AO & he really liked the school.
Second son made a strong connection with an AO at one of his top 3 choices. That school also offered him a merit writing scholarship. It was very hard for him to turn down that AO and the offer, which he plainly stated in his emails, and when he did, both the AO & the scholarship committee head wrote very kind letters back. AO later said in a call that if it didn’t work out at the school my son was off to, to consider them again bc they wanted him. Oddly enough, just like his older brother, he didn’t make a connection with the AO of the school in which he enrolled. If he hadn’t applied to that school ED2, I think it’s very possible that he would have attended the other in part bc of his experience with his AO.
This process can be gut wrenching in different ways. It’s so very human.
I understand where everyone is coming from, but reverse the roles. Do admissions officers ever call or send personalized letters after a rejection?
OP with an update. The sweet Admissions Couselor answered S’s email with a gracious email. Intellectually, I know that it comes with the territory, but I was surprised by how sad I felt yesterday
Thank you for all of your anecdotes. They are helpful.