<p>munchkin, I don’t think you are strange and I’m glad you started this thread. I’m always a little taken aback about the angst some parents feel when their kids leave for college. </p>
<p>To me, it is the natural order of things. </p>
<p>Maybe people are reluctant to say they “look forward” to a son or daughter leaving. As though it implies they are no longer wanted. But in a literal sense, I do “look forward” to it - a time for living a bit differently, doing different things in different ways. </p>
<p>S is home for very likely his last summer (rising college senior). It is not painful to me, at all, to anticipate him starting his own household somewhere else on a permanent basis. We have a winter home and he loves to visit there and I expect that will continue, although on a more constricted basis (no more multi-week winter breaks once he has a job, lol). I think that will be a wonderful arrangement.</p>
<p>I’ll weigh in on the side of those not happy about this next chapter. We chose to have kids because we wanted our own family so I do not relish not having my family near me.</p>
<p>munchkin:
Both D & S became very difficult to be around as they headed into freshman year. The entitlement mentality, lots of moodiness, and a pervasive tension in the household colored the summers. Since D and S were back-to-back, we went through this for 2 years in a row. </p>
<p>Flash forward–D has just graduated from college and S will be a senior. This is the first summer where NEITHER is at home. D (our drama queen) has matured quite alot but S—not so much. Still moody and quite immature. In general, we feel they still “dump” on us an awful lot so having them around during the long summers sometimes seemed more challenging than enjoyable.
Living with them on a day-to-day basis just ain’t that great…H and I have come to appreciate the beauty of a more peaceful household. And I know they much prefer living more independently, not to mention it’s important they are learning more responsibility this way. (Maybe they’ll also start appreciating us more in the bargain?)</p>
<p>We do look forward to both of them flourishing into adulthood (soon!) and are confident they will begin to share their lovely “gifts” with us too, not just with friends and others. I AM sad that they each are several states away and we do hope that ultimately we all settle in areas that will allow for many quick visits!</p>
<p>I’m ambivalent…I enjoy my daughters, they’re good company, and I know the house will feel strangely empty when they’re both in college. But I look forward to seeing what they do with their adult lives, and also having more time with my husband and more time for myself. I love to write and I’ll have much more time to pursue it as an empty-nester.</p>
<p>Most of all, I look forward to not being tied to the bland suburb where they attend high school. I don’t really like the 'burbs; I’ve stayed put for their sake, to give them stability and good schools and keep them near their dad (who lives about 5 minutes away). But once they graduate, my husband and I can pursue our dream of building a house in the country. </p>
<p>So yes, I will miss them very much, but I know I’ll enjoy the shape of my new life too.</p>
<p>NO. Although like Lunitari above, I am living somewhere child rearing friendly that is boring without my children’s lives here…and so perhaps we will get the “urge for going.” I am a big believer in letting your kids go and have no illusions. We moved our son’s BR and some of our second rate furniture to another city yesterday and I find I am in a bit of the Middle World called Transition. All that is left is his bulletin board with high school and college tickets and momentos all over it, his Beethoven’s head sculpture and the DUKE thing that was pinned to his cap at graduation (everyone has to make a silly topper for a photo of where they are going).<br>
I am looking around and realizing that a LOT of stuff in our house is completely discardable (and 3rd rate junk) once they both set up homes of their own.<br>
I think I am going to set up in one of those space age thingies I saw in Santa Fe last year with the other Zen retirees we ran into…solar everything, looks like a flying saucer…</p>