I’ve already submitted my essay and I know panicking now is useless, but no one had ever read my why essay before I submitted it and some honest response would really soothe my anxiousness a bit right now. I am a US citizen studying in China applying for NYU Tisch RD. My consideration was that Tisch values story-telling ability, so I decided to wrote my essay in the form of a short story, but now that I look at it again, I feel it may be too general and cliche. Please help?? Thx a lot.
Essay:
I rushed out of the subway station, constantly checking with my GPS to ensure that I was in the right direction. Clock ticking, my flight was leaving in a few hours. As I continued with my search anxiously, I thought about why I was so badly in love with her in the first place.
It must be her big heart. Race, gender, sexuality, occupation and nationality all melt away in her tolerant eyes. She cares about who I am as a person, not how I am labeled by society. The people she fosters are so diverse and interesting, only with the same level of commitment to her and to the improvement of the world. I know, instinctively, that I can simply be myself to fit in, because every personality, quirk and idea is celebrated here.
It may also be the coexistence of close-care and independence that solely belongs to her. Indeed, I’ll be granted the maximum of freedom to explore. I see myself analyzing the stage design of Phantom of The Opera at Broadway on a typical internship, holding breathe while gazing at The Starry Sky in MOMA, diving into the opportunities and cultural life in the city of New York. But at the end of the day, every student bonds as a family. My grievance will be embraced with encouragement and a gently push that put me back in the real world of NYC to grow up and improve.
It can also be her progressive and artistic vision. She adapts to the modern time, and offers innovative and up-to-date majors like music marketing and film and television. Film is a unique form of expression that combines all the things that I am passionate about: visual art, photography, music, literature, business and science. Movies sends out message through my unique voice and makes a change in the society. She prepares me for my dream with the one-of-a-kind film program in the US.
But after I turned left at another corner and finally got a sight of her, I realized that, I just love her, I guess. There was no fence that marks her boarder, but even if in the busiest city of the world, I can never miss the bright and vibrant purple color flags that claimed her supremacy and charm. NYU, New York University. I feel free and powerful just by saying these three words.
you could consider doing an interview with Initial View, it might enhance your application.