whiteysmith08/26/16 02:21 PM
My daughter is a student at St. Paul’s, and I’ll continue to post my somewhat rambling perspective on the school in hopes it will clear some misconceptions.
@news1234: Unfortunately, rape happens everywhere, not just boarding schools. I trust St. Paul’s and believe my daughter is safe there. But I also talk to her about her personal safety on and off campus, and I’ve done what I can to make her aware of situations to avoid and ways to protect herself. What else can anyone do, as a parent, unless the whole world changes?
@bostonpeace100: Owen Labrie STOLE the keys he used to access the remote rooms in the science building. If you read his (I think) Facebook conversations with friends as he planned this event, he first considers taking the victim to a vacant apartment in the art building, one that is used by visitors or artists-in-residence. He later decides to go to the science building, using the keys he took, because the apartment is too close to the center of things, or it would be more likely they would be overheard there (or some similar reason). Since the court case, ‘having keys’ to school buildings has been outlined as an offense punishable by expulsion in the St. Paul’s Student Handbook. So has participating in ‘games’ of one-upsmanship.
The Senior Salute is not a longstanding tradition, and many recent alums will tell you they never heard of it. I would, however, call your attention to the word “Slaymaker” that Owen Labrie used on his yearbook page. He writes “Slaymaker47, 'nuf said.” I have no idea if that was a tradition, but it seems the game he was really playing with his friends was something he called “slaymaking.” Instead they attribute this game to Senior Salute, which I understood to be something recent and certainly more innocent.
People, as I understand it, gave money for the defense because Owen Labrie came from nothing and couldn’t pay for it himself. Also, they believed him. This brief history has shown that EVERYONE believed him, all of the time. The victim believed him, his friends, the staff, the alumni believed him. To hear them tell it at SPS, he was one of the most beloved students at the school. A straight A (well, at SPS it’s High Honors) student, captain of the soccer team, full ride to Harvard and planning to go to Divinity School to be a minister. Sounds like a dream! But his actions have shown something else was going on below the surface. More than one person at the school has told me how much he broke their hearts, how flabbergasted they were, when they found out he had such a dark side (read his Facebook messages for evidence). Someone told me “We never saw it coming, he seemed practically perfect and we were so proud. We’re devastated.” The prosecutor in the case even said something to the effect that these kinds of guys, great guys, high fliers, politicians, sports stars, handsome, charming . . . are what rapists look like . . . the guy you’d least expect.
We should also note that Labrie (if I remember correctly) emailed friends and alumni to ask for money for his defense, in clear violation of the judge’s instructions to NOT do that. Again, he thinks the rules don’t apply to him.
I’m very sorry for the victim and worried about her. I’m on her side and believe her. The trial was gut wrenching – even to listen to – we will never know what she has gone through and what she sacrificed to stand up for herself. I wanted to punch Jay Carney right through the television for the way he treated her. I know many women who have had this happen, and this is a world where sadly, all women and a lot of men need to be on guard at all times. I believe that no amount of rules or culture change at SPS could have stopped the perpetrator. He has demonstrated before, during, and after the trial a complete lack of respect for rules and law. He acts as though the rules do not apply to him. His writings show an obsessive, laser focus on attaining his goal. His friends knew of his intentions, one even writing something like “Dude, we’re going to have to bail you out, wasn’t that girl like 13?” Why didn’t THEY do more to stop him?
However, perhaps what needs improvement is the culture that drove the victim from the school after she bravely returned in the fall of 2014. The bullying and ostracizing should have been addressed and punished. I’ve heard people say the school cautioned that they might not be able to keep the students from making her life miserable. Was anything done? Following the Labrie situation, another girl on campus was injured by her boyfriend (and there is a debate about how serious or not it was, but the school, rightfully, let the police decide) and that girl was also ostracized. This definitely needs some scrutiny.
I try, at the same time, to imagine how a public school would control bullying in this situation. Would it be any different? Is it hard, or impossible, to keep teenagers from acting this way? How could a girl who accused the coolest guy on campus, as far as most students were concerned, ever manage? She is a brave, brave person for even going back in the first place. I don’t know if I could do it. I’ve worked in corporate HR departments and can say unequivocally that people who prosecute for sexual harassment or assault at work are also, sickeningly, marginalized – and that’s among adults.
This case is a microcosm. The whole world could use a dignity and respect upgrade.