Appeals, if granted, are usually granted if there has been a significant error on the part of the school or something was missed. If you didn’t get academic renewal done before you applied, then its kind of hard to go back. The requirements are strict:
Also, the average GPA noted for incoming transfers is listed as 3.11. It is a competitive school. https://www.cpp.edu/~aboutcpp/calpolypomona-overview/facts-and-figures.shtml
I tried not to tweak your letter too much so reread what I’ve edited:
*I am writing this letter of appeal because of my denied admission as a transfer to Cal Poly Pomona.
My application was rejected on February 15 2017, and the reason given was my below average gpa of 1.98. The stated GPA included in my application was sent before the academic renewal was completed. Since then, my grade point average was calculated at 2.46.
I would like to explain my extenuating circumstances. In 2014 and 2015, I faced the most difficult years. My brother passed away suddenly and unexpectedly as the result of a drunk driving accident. I helped organize his funeral arrangements and started working to help my parents pay for the funeral funds. As a consequence, my grades and academic performance suffered and were adversely impacted.
It was extremely difficult to focus in school which resulted in my failure of a majority of my classes. It was physically and mentally exhausting, no matter how hard I tried to do well in school during those times, it was not working for me. Additionally, a few months after the accident, my family was sued for my deceased brother’s role in the accident.
Through this experience, however, I learned to gain a strict work ethic and to never give up. This has enabled me to not take opportunities for granted. I am happy to say that, after your review, you will note that I meet the admissions requirements for acceptance.
I thank you for your time in reconsidering my application as a transfer student to Cal Poly Pomona.*