In high school, I haven’t been able to, unfortunately. She has my school’s number and calls whenever I don’t pick up, which sends an adult to my dorm. If you’re about to tell me that this is insane, I’m already aware— but I don’t think it’ll be possible for her to do that in college, at least.
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No, that won’t be possible in college. You will need to take control. Fortunately, turning 18 (which should happen before or during freshman year, yes?) will help a little.
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Work Study is great. If your mom is thinking that there are negative connotations to it (like in the old days, being a “Scholarship Student”) you can assure her that there aren’t. The biggest advantage (besides the cash, obviously) is that your boss understands that being a student is your top priority. So you need to swap schedules because you have a midterm to study for? No problem.
I was not eligible for work study back in the day, but I had fantastic campus jobs. Drove a van to shuttle students around campus, to the main hospital where the med students trained, to all the libraries, etc. My family was horrified- I was the worst driver in the family and the university was putting me behind the wheel of one of their vans. The job was fun, I met all sorts of people, nothing not to like. Checked out books at the library- boring but plenty of time to study. Was a courier/delivery person for the administration- walked around with confidential documents that were too sensitive to put into campus mail, and delivered them to the recipients. Lost weight, made friends with all the departmental administrative assistants, a very social job when I wasn’t walking, walking, walking.
Time to start persuading her NOW that a job can be great.
I can’t help you with the phone calling. But if there’s someone in your mom’s orbit that she trusts (friend, former co-worker, sibling) it might help to get their help with this issue. Checking in frequently is NOT going to help your study habits, ability to concentrate, ability to make friends not to mention sleep and eat.
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You mention boarding school - I may have missed this suggestion, so sorry if a repeat - I would advise you to go to your boarding school college office and sit with them for assistance with this matter. They have an understanding of you financial situation, can review the FA offer and walk you through the student loan piece and hopefully help you gather and submit additional documentation, if valid.
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One can turn it down, but the family has to come up with whatever the amount for work study was built into the FA package. I agree with you that OP should take get a work study job though.
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The high level answer to your question is you can certainly try to get an adjustment to your financial aid in light of changed circumstances, and I don’t think the fact you were admitted ED is likely to affect that outcome. Indeed, people sometimes are looking for adjustments after a term has actually started, and they might get them in sufficiently dire circumstances.
So I think more likely they will have some internal policies about this, and those policies will determine whether they will or will not make an adjustment to this year’s award based on the documented facts of your case. But at worst, they can only tell you no, so why not try?
In terms of how to pay, that is ultimately something you need to work out as a family. I would tend to agree that when cash flow is tight, a modest amount of work study and perhaps loans are OK. You can always try to pay down any loans quickly, this just gives you more time as a family.
But if the final answer is your mom would rather make it work without those measures, then I think at a certain point you just have to thank her for the gift, and maybe plan to revisit in a year.
You do have an option. If the ED school is unaffordable you can be released from the agreement.
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I note that is technically at the discretion of the ED college. Meaning if they think it is affordable, they don’t necessarily have to agree to release you. But I don’t think they refuse in many cases, or likely any cases where there are actual changed circumstances but you can’t work out a new offer.
I don’t think any college can FORCE a student to enroll. But IMO if the net price calculator was on target it is hard to argue that the college is unaffordable.
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Actually…the student needs to apply for and get a work study job. If they don’t do so, they won’t receive those funds. But…my concern would be…if you don’t take the work study opportunity this year, will it even be offered in subsequent years.
There is research out there to support college students working up to ten hours a week. You won’t be attending college classes from 8:00 to 3:00 every week day like in high school. Having a work study job will additionally help you budget your time.
Also, working a job now and in college will give you the ability to get job references for future employment…and you will have a little resume of work. This will benefit you in the long term.
And summers…what else would you be doing besides working. Even if you get an internship…that’s…work.
But of course, that is between you and your mom. Once you are at college, you could get a job.
I agree that the $5500 Direct Loan for freshman year should be considered. As suggested by @Mwfan1921, run the net price calculator using 2025 tax year information…and see what the difference in aid is from this coming year to the following year. It will only be an estimate, but might give you an idea anyway.
And yes…get the finances straightened out before you commit.
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This is actually part of the ED antitrust lawsuit!
And no, not really. However, in theory they could call this a serious ethical violation. And then in theory, other schools could take that into account when making their own decisions about admitting you, or potentially even rescind an offer, or potentially even expel you after you start.
I am not sure how often, if at all, any of that has actually happened. But that is the implied threat.
Realistically, if you go to them with materially changed circumstances, and you try in good faith to work something out, but you can’t, I think it is very likely they will just agree to release you. It just doesn’t make sense for them to go through the hassle of doing anything else at that point.
I’m not entirely sure what would happen if you just said you couldn’t afford it anymore without any sort of real, documented reason. At a guess, they could refuse to formally release you, but also not actually do anything. But that’s not the OP’s situation anyway.
Agree. If the NPC was accurate then baring a material change in circumstances, it is ethically wrong to walk away from an ED acceptance.
In this case the OP has a grant to cover tuition so not sure she could get a better deal elsewhere.
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A few more points for the OP. First, do talk with your HS counselor if you haven’t already. Bryn Mawr offers full tuition grants, at a minimum, for families making under $175K. Bryn Mawr offers no loan packages for families making under $110K with less than 500K in assets. So, the fact that you did receive a loan in your FA package suggests there may be some assets in the picture.
You don’t have to share anything about your finances here, but you have to do your homework on Bryn Mawr’s financial aid website so you and your mom are informed when you talk with an FA director about appealing. Please do run the NPCs with your mom’s current assets and 2025 income. That will estimate your FA for your sophomore year (because Bryn Mawr meets full need, your award will keep pace with the 2027-2028 COA, so don’t worry about that.) If your mom’s income change is material (and assets unchanged), you should see greater financial aid in your sophomore year. Ask the FA director about that when you talk with them. Again, I would not pull your other apps until you and your mom talk with Bryn Mawr and figure things out. Good luck.
I would be shocked if any schools are sharing names of ED accepted students considering the various lawsuits over the last decade. I don’t think any of the talk about ED ethics is appropriate here as OP’s financial situation legitimately and significantly changed in 2025. OP should have shared that info with Bryn Mawr before now, but they didn’t. So one step at a time. OP’s financial aid may very well increase for sophomore year, reflecting the 2025 income decrease, so this may be just a one year issue (if Bryn Mawr doesn’t change the FA package they have already offered.)
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Yeah, this feels more like a politely ask than threaten to walk situation.
I could be wrong, but my guess is Bryn Mawr will be fine taking a look. Whether they can do anything? Who knows.
I apologize if it sounded like I was implying otherwise. I agree, the OP isn’t doing anything wrong.
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A few questions…and you don’t have to give this info here…but these are worth noting.
- Did you and your mom do the Bryn Mawr Net Price Calculator? Did it ask if your parent was a single parent? Was your financial aid award close to what the NPC indicated?
- You have mentioned your mom’s income has dropped to $62,000@ year or so. Does she also have assets…money in the bank? You mentioned not paying rent. Is this because your mom owns a home that is fully paid for?
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I actually only have assets of 100k— so not sure why I received loans. Worst case scenario, they say no and I enroll with help of my grandpa. I am definitely sure I want to attend there so it’s just a matter of convenience at this point
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I did NPC with values from 2024 1040
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No, we live in my grandpa’s home. We have no assets, really
And was the aid you received similar to what the NPC indicated?
Yes, except the loans
So your total aid including the loans gave you the net cost the NPC indicated?