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<p>It’s hard for me to appreciate what “unwelcoming to non-Asian families” means as I have attended K-12 schools that were predominantly white as well as schools that were roughly equal in terms of whites and blacks. I did not ever feel that the schools were not welcoming to me because I am not white.</p>
<p>I was pretty careful in my choice of words, Fabrizio. I said “families” not students and that’s what I meant. The issue is things like formal or informal Chinese Parent Associations, tutoring programs (paid and sought after by the families privately, of course) that don’t include everyone, officers of organizations, and the grapevine. It’s the parents who feel uncomfortable, not the kids.</p>
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<p>Duly noted.</p>
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<p>Have the non-Asian parents talked to their Asian peers at all about this?</p>
<p>I have no idea. Don’t have a kid in the school. I’m not really talking about the factual matters, but whether the perception of a school becoming an exclusive bastion is problematic. Because that’s what’s going on in my son’s grade and I find it very surprising because the school has been the be-all and end-all for so long.</p>
<p>Once again, I am not surprised at all. If you read the posts of this thread, for example, you will find it is parents who are concerned about colleges becoming 50% Asian. It is about things like who can be the officer of this or that sub-committee that decides what kind of lunch the kids should have, which to many parents is the essence of their life. Becoming a minority when you have been a majority all along is jarring. The kids really don’t care, as they don’t yet see people in terms of race (but they will soon if the parents keep teaching them that).</p>
<p>My kid goes to a (private, IB) school (in a very tony neighborhood) where minorities (from all races) form perhaps 10% of the class. We know that we are not part of any parent associations, nor are we privy to what what private tutoring the other parents are arranging for their kids. We are not part of the grapevine, nor do we hold any office positions in the school. </p>
<p>But it doesn’t bother us in the least bit. That’s because the other kids adore, just plain old adore, our kid (and it is mutual). Our kid has made solid friends in school, is class representative, and helps out the other kids in every single way (mostly with academics, but music as well). The teachers do not distinguish by race either. </p>
<p>Our kid is at the very top of the class, ahead by a couple grades in fact per the assessment report, and the person to play the piano during assembly (and routinely better than the music teacher). We often hear snarky comments from other parents that we must be killing the poor kid at home to do so well. We just laugh. </p>
<p>And who has time to be part of the grapevine or hold meaningless offices anyway? We pay a generous tuition so that the school takes of those minutiae. As for private tutoring (not in anything to do with schools, but ECs), we arrange for that on our own. It is not really hard to do it - the information abounds on the internet.</p>
<p>I think some people have a lot of insecurity in them.</p>
<p>sounds like the school is being racially segregated by default.</p>
<p>Sounds like a turnabout situation not unlike the one I’ve experienced in my children’s Catholic school (99% white), and we’re not Catholic. Welcome to the real world.</p>
<p>Sigh… I had sworn off posting but…</p>
<p>“the kids really don’t care, as they don’t yet see people in terms of race (but they will soon if the parents keep teaching them that).”</p>
<p>Do you have any data to support that; not the “caring” part, but that they “don’t yet see people in terms of race”, or that parents are the primary influence in teaching them? Also, I’m surprised to hear you say becoming a minority is “jarring”. I’ve been understanding you to say it doesn’t influence perspective, or maybe you used a different word.</p>
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<p>Cliques are cliques. Human beings are basically the same regardless of race. Some can see through race, others can’t.</p>
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<p>No data, just anecdotes from what I see in my kid’s school. Perhaps some kids are born racist. Do you think that’s the case? </p>
<p>I didn’t say that parents are the primary influence. I merely said that if the kids keep hearing their parents talk about how unwelcoming the school under discussion has become to non-Asians, they will pick it up and start to distinguish by race. That’s an inevitability.</p>
<p>I said that going to minority after enjoying a majority position is jarring. It’s like going to poor after being rich for a long time.</p>
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<p>There is meaningless recreation, and then there is meaningless torture.</p>
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So would your opinion change if a school was predominantly something else?</p>
<p>For example, we are excluding a school that has something to offer my son because it is predominantly Goombah and I want nothing to do with that. For those of you not familiar with the term, it’s the culture of the Jersey Shore tv show and this particular school is all about that.</p>
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<p>Uh, maybe because this is the Parents forum.</p>
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<p>Don’t understand the context at all, but I feel that choosing schools based on race is kind of funny.</p>
<p>“I said that position is jarring. It’s like going to poor after being rich for a long time.”</p>
<p>So even a “qualified”, middle class URM might have an experience equivalent to “going to poor after being rich for a long time”, if attending schools where they are “going to minority after enjoying a majority”? Am I getting that right?</p>
<p>"Perhaps some kids are born racist. Do you think that’s the case? "</p>
<p>Only if you define “racist” as noticing people are different colors.</p>
<p>And thanks for that response. You have reinforced my resolve.</p>
<p>Are you famililar with the tv show “Jersey Shore” or even “The Sopranos?” </p>
<p>I’m not choosing based on race, I’m choosing based on culture. Would your kids (or you) be comfortable in any group, regardless of its composition?</p>
<p>I like diversity (and I’m a conservative republican) for a whole lot of reasons, not the least of which is that if everyone is different, it’s less likely that one kid would stand out as weird.</p>
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<p>This was the subject of a Newsweek or Time article I read in the last couple of years. (Sorry, I don’t have the link handy.) It was about how new URM generation in school today don’t think in terms of race (don’t identify by race) or think it’s a big deal in general. I think they also said that this was somewhat frustrating to their parents.</p>
<p>Okay, this is my last post FOR REAL! (like when IP said no more until the weekend…). This thread has made me strangely MORE “racist” and I dint like that at all. It never occurred to me that there was such animosity, or that I might constantly be being “judged”.</p>
<p>“This was the subject of a Newsweek or Time article I read in the last couple of years.”</p>
<p>It would be great if you could find it. I don’t know if the article and Indianparent are talking about the some thing.</p>
<p>My H and I went to GREAT lengths to avoid talk of race in our home. You know how parents don’t talk about gender, but their sons made guns out of dolls? That was us. Pretty funny when the kids where old enough to spontaneously share their perspective. I’d say that’s been pretty recent. </p>
<p>Not a" BIG" deal ( like say, 50 points on the SAT), but still a “deal”.</p>
<p>How many of you have had the experience of going from minority to majority or vice versa? What if that’s an important insight? What if its related to the success of first gen immigrants? </p>
<p>BLEW my MIND visiting Nigeria. Bazooka Joe was Black!!!</p>
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<p>Did it say why this is so?</p>
<p>I have my own theory, and it is that my generation worked so dang hard, via AA and diversity days and valuing racial diversity, that it worked and is showing up in our kids’ generation.</p>
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<p>Yes, I think you’re right.</p>