<p>I have been flying for 4+ decades & our kids since they were 6 months old. H has been flying for even longer. We’re all fine with flying or we would never be able to get off the island where we were all born! So far, we have never had much excitement on our flights, which I consider a very good thing. We have had a few rough landings but never any scared pilots or flight attendants. We fly several times/year at least.</p>
<p>It’s actually our preferred mode of travel, as it gets us to most destinations faster than other means. I now have to use more medical equipment to fly, but still prefer it over other means and have never had seriously bad experiences on any of our hundreds of flights.</p>
<p>I have heard of folks who have found hypnosis, drugs, structured relaxation & other techniques to be very helpful for fears, including flying.</p>
<p>Another xanax user here. 10 years ago when my husband and I first started traveling internationally on a frequent basis, I mentioned to my family doctor how nervous I was and how it caused all these physical symptoms (upset stomach, etc). My doctor replied, “There’s really no reason to suffer through the flights. Try some xanax.” It was one of the best things a physician ever did for me. Ten years later, I find I’m now a relaxed flier and don’t always even take the xanax. When I do, it’s a miniscule amount. The upside to taking xanax is I sleep very well on planes, something that is a necessity on long international flights.</p>
<p>I do the same thing! Takeoffs and landings are my only true stress points and I can usually relax fairly well once the plane is level. Not enough to sleep, of course, but I can read and carry on a normal conversation. I have lots of friends who self-medicate, but it wouldn’t work for me because I need to be “alert” in case of an emergency :). I feel more nervous when my kids are on the flight with me because if the plane crashes, it would be my fault for leading them to their deaths. This thought really bothers me.</p>
<p>As a child and through college, I never had a problem flying. Then in my early 20’s, I was on a flight with extended TERRIBLE turbulence. It was truly terrifying. After that, I was a very fearful flyer and it seemed to intensify after I became a parent. In fact, until recently, the few times that H and I went away without the kids, we would take separate flights (of course then, I always had a panicked moment wondering if I had chosen the “right” flight and would survive the trip!) With the help of valium (is Xanax better?), some weird little rituals I have, having older children, plus good flight experiences, I’m doing better with it. Part of my problem is that I’m a control freak. I can’t sleep on flights (I want to be sure that I’m ready for whatever happens - and what if the pilot needs me to fly the plane? ) I also have heard about take-offs and landings being the most dangerous times in flight, so I’m worse then. My little “rituals” (and keep in mind that I’m not super-religious; I guess this boils down to the whole “there’s no athiests in foxholes”): at the gate and during boarding, I look around to see if there are young children/babies. I always feel safer on those flights, because I think that God would look out for them more than just adults. Luckily, I don’t think I’ve been on a flight without kids in forever and I use a sliding scale - no young children or babies? A teen will work, too. Also, when the plane is taxiing, I say a little prayer. Not that we don’t crash, but something like “give the pilots the skills to get us there safely.” And I have to think that sort of as we are taking off. Then I grip the armrest and watch the flight attendants. As long as things seem normal with them, I’m pretty good. I also keep reminding myself about the statistics of air travel being safer than auto travel…but again, that whole control freak thing…</p>
I just read your post after I wrote mine^ I know EXACTLY what you mean!
After reading this, I realize that I’m apparently a horrible mother…my feeling was if we were all together, that was OK (on some level - not really “OK”.) But I didn’t want to leave them orphaned. And also, I have always tried more to mask my fears in front of my kids so I didn’t pass them on…so far it’s worked, I guess, since neither is afraid of flying.</p>
<p>I am not a happy flyer but not to the extent that I won’t fly. I flew last week for the first time in a couple of years and was especially stressed having not been on a plane for a while. The take off and landing process bothers me most. I suck it up and deal…it helps to do the early labor breathing that I learned for natural childbirth (without the grunting or whooshing ). I have thought about it but have never medicated before a flight. If I have to make decisions I don’t want anything to make me hazy.</p>
<p>During a turbulent patch on the flight last week I heard a little voice a row or two over go “This is like a roller coaster…Fun!”.</p>
<p>DO they let you board the plane if you have had a drink or two? This is an honest question. I understand the point about being alert, but I think there is more of a chance I would freak the whole way & I would rather be relaxed and not crying & take my chances that in case of emergency, adrenaline would kick in.</p>
<p>I did fine going down to Santa Barbara a couple years ago, the first time I had ever flown by myself, but on the way back , my ears kept popping & the plane sounded like the muffler was going to fall off. ( but the cutest li’l airport)</p>
<p>When I went to S.F. with H in 2008, *the first time I had ever flown with him <a href=“we%20don’t%20spend%20much%20money%20on%20vacations”>/i</a>, I was a nervous wreck. I hadn’t realized just how much he expects me to handle everything & when I can’t , he doesn’t know what to do.</p>
<p>On the way back I was even worse, I was practically crying the whoie way. Landing & takeoffs are different enough in feel that even though I know they have a higher chance of accidents, it engages my mind. But when I couldn’t look out the window & they didn’t even offer me a beer- as when I was coming back from SB, I hated it.</p>
<p>it helps to do the early labor breathing that I learned for natural childbirth (without the grunting or whooshing
I did that too- otherwise I was hyperventilating.</p>
<p>My fear doesn’t keep me from flying though. I am going to Detroit in June- my choice, for a little vacation. ( I know Detroit is kinda an odd choice). But I was anxious to get to see Eddie Vedder on this latest tour ( which is also why I went to Santa Barbara ), & I couldn’t get tickets to Seattle or Portland & I have a good friend I haven’t seen for 11 years who lives in Detroit. My H doesn’t want to go, so it may be OK, since I know I will have to take care of myself, instead of expecting him to, that makes it easier.</p>
<p>I wonder if it makes it worse or better that my H has worked at Boeing for 25 years.</p>
<p>I know what you mean, but I’m also horribly nervous when D is flying without me, and I’ve developed the possibly slightly creepy habit of tracking her fights. It gives me something to do, and tells me the exact moment when I can stop worrying.</p>
<p>I am afraid of flying too but I’ve done it on a few occasions. I hate taking off and landing, but I’m fine once we’re up in the air. The last time i even looked out my window. Go me! (lol!)</p>
<p>I had a father who travelled on business…often. EVERY time he came home he told me how he had almost been killed on the plane. Seriously. Not a joke. I heard about near misses, turbulence, very near misses…no wonder I’m a maniac.</p>
<p>Xanax is better than valium for me. Fifteen minutes after taking my heart rate goes to normal, I think clearly (yes, no kidding. I know that the bump is just air etc., not an engine failing.) and I sleep. My family no longer thinks that I am a maniac in the air. </p>
<p>I too have had hypnosis (kinda works for some parts of this) and have read all about air safety. Sorry…better living through chemistry.</p>
<p>Their only problem? After a long flight (we went to Europe last summer), I was ready to go. They were soggy messes.</p>
<p>I agree with ellebud. I take a tiny amount of Xanax and don’t feel hazy at all. Not the least bit concerned that I wouldn’t be able to make a good decision in an emergency. You really have to experiment with it to find the dosage that’s right for you. Xanax does make me a little sleepy but I can assure you in the event of an emergency, I would be wide awake. :)</p>
<p>Having been a white-knuckler and then having discovered Xanax…I can tell you the difference between flying in an anxious state of mind vs. being calm and relaxed is like the difference between having major dental work with Novocaine vs. without it. Sure, you can get have the surgery without anesthesia but why would you?</p>
<p>Not trying to push tranquilizers on anyone but I spent just weeks listening to a co-worker whine about being afraid to fly to Hawaii for vacation. She went and had a good time but the whole fear of flying thing put a damper on her attitude leading up to the trip. I guess I don’t understand why someone would put themselves through that much anxiety (for weeks leading up to the trip!) when there’s an easy solution.</p>
<p>Good to know. I tend to be very reactive to medications so I might try it at home before the next time I fly to see if I react the way that you do.</p>
<p>I would second trying it first at home. That’s what my doctor had me do. It can definitely be sedating. I take 1/2 of a .5 mg tablet, sometimes only a 1/4 tablet. A whole .5mg will make me very sleepy. Some people routinely take 5 to 6 mg a day. Personally, I would be comatose if I took that much. Everyone is different. Also, be careful about drinking alcohol with it.</p>
<p>Teriwtt, I also have heard that the first 20 seconds or so are most likely to have a problem occur. I don’t do any Our Fathers, but I close my eyes and count in my head (one-one thousand, two-one thousand…) every time I take off until I get to 20.</p>
<p>I have a friend who carries a 30 year old tattered prayer card in her wallet - she pulls it out and reads over and over every time she takes off. She’s convinced that the plane will crash if she doesn’t read that prayer from that card. God help her if she ever loses her wallet.</p>
<p>Drinking a couple of glasses of wine really helps the fear, I promise you. Turbulence almost never takes an airplane down, airplanes are designed to handle much more turbulence than you ever feel. The only hazard is to the poor flight attendants who are walking around when they should be sitting. If you fly a stiff winged airplane (like an Airbus instead of a Boeing) or a commuter jet, you will feel the turbulence alot more. But it’s not dangerous. Takeoff is not generally that hazardous, the only danger is if there are mechanical problems (it takes alot for a pilot to screw up a takeoff, even in bad weather). And if they happen at a slow enough speed, the pilots can handle it easily. Landings are the most dangerous part of the flight, as you can have mechanicals, pilot errors and weather surprises. If you do want to minimize risks, don’t fly turboprop aircraft in the winter, in cold climates. Dealing with enroute icing and snow upon landing is a particular danger especially for those kind of aircraft.</p>
<p>It’s not really so bad. Drink wine, you’ll feel better! And of course, as they say, the most dangerous part is driving to and from the airport (so don’t drink too much wine). I’ve been a military/airline pilot for over 27 years, and serious problems are very rare.</p>
<p>Oh no, I was trying to be comforting (but honest). Fly with major airlines, avoid airlines from third world countries, stay away from small commuters in the winter. Drink wine and you’ll be just fine! I do…but not when I’m working! Isn’t it better to be informed? Or is it worse to actually know what fears are valid?</p>
) I also have heard about take-offs and landings being the most dangerous times in flight, so I’m worse then. My little “rituals” (and keep in mind that I’m not super-religious; I guess this boils down to the whole “there’s no athiests in foxholes”): at the gate and during boarding, I look around to see if there are young children/babies. I always feel safer on those flights, because I think that God would look out for them more than just adults. Luckily, I don’t think I’ve been on a flight without kids in forever and I use a sliding scale - no young children or babies? A teen will work, too. Also, when the plane is taxiing, I say a little prayer. Not that we don’t crash, but something like “give the pilots the skills to get us there safely.” And I have to think that sort of as we are taking off. Then I grip the armrest and watch the flight attendants. As long as things seem normal with them, I’m pretty good. I also keep reminding myself about the statistics of air travel being safer than auto travel…but again, that whole control freak thing…</p>
I know EXACTLY what you mean!
And also, I have always tried more to mask my fears in front of my kids so I didn’t pass them on…so far it’s worked, I guess, since neither is afraid of flying.</p>
), & I couldn’t get tickets to Seattle or Portland & I have a good friend I haven’t seen for 11 years who lives in Detroit. My H doesn’t want to go, so it may be OK, since I know I will have to take care of myself, instead of expecting him to, that makes it easier.</p>