<p>"I see a huge difference between talking about doing well in school, valuing doing one’s best academically, stretching and pushing yourself towards your best efforts, being a lifelong learner, and being well-rounded by engaging in other pastimes … and talking about “how you’ll get into the Ivy League.” </p>
<p>For me, all of that comes along with my son getting into the best college for him. For you, once upon a time it was a Top 20 school. Apparently, for the OP it’s getting her son into an Ivy League school. Nothing wrong with any one of our choices. I won’t point my finger at the OP and say don’t do that. She may not have gotten to the point where she has been on here long enough to become better educated.</p>