<p>Have to admit we are almost exactly where I thought we would be 30 years ago. Met my husband that year and knew when we eventually got married we would be fine, both very hard working with common goals, and good at sacrificing for those goals.
Relocated to wherever DH was needed, I was always able to get good work in my field. Eventually got the house, enough stuff for a middle class life, and two perfect kids. We knew we were lucky that we were such a team and had a charmed life compared to so many. Always felt that things were too good to be true. Then (1993) our oldest son was killed by a speeder at his kindergarten busstop. Everything came to a crashing stop for at least 5 years, and a solid 10 before we were “normal” again. Still worked, raised our other son and eventually had one more. It changed everything and i dont remember much from that time but we faked it till we made it.
So here we are 18 yrs later, great life, great kids, I’m sitting in a house on the beach that we passed on our honeymoon and joked about buying some day. Enjoying every day because we know at some point the other shoe will drop. Very blessed.</p>
<p>^ Oh my gosh, what a powerful post.</p>
<p>Blessings to you and your family.</p>
<p>Gosh, 30 years ago I wanted to be married with two children - a boy first, then a girl. That was about it. No big career dreams, no big money dreams, just happily married with a family. Figured I would always be taken care of financially by my husband.</p>
<p>I never imagined I would have that boy and girl in the wished-for order, be divorced, have a Ph.D., own my own home, and have traveled to Europe twice. Never imagined my kids would be so terrific and I would feel so happy to be single. Still looking for what I want to be when I grow up and realize I missed the boat when everyone was picking a career. How that happened, I don’t know. Other than the career dilemma, life has been unexpectedly wonderful.</p>
<p>30 years ago I was 10 and assumed my future would look much like the Jetsons. So, my answer is no, I am not where I thought I’d be 30 years ago.</p>
<p>I don’t think any girl growing up in suburb of NYC that I grew up in thinks she’ll wind up in south Texas. Sometimes it’s still something of a shock to the system. My child is happy and healthy, my marriage remains strong and I’m very grateful for where I am.</p>
<p>Thirty years ago I was in a place that was not at all part of my plan growing up…I was living in Houston (the last place in the US that I would have predicted or hoped for), and a stay-at-home mom of a toddler (not what I had envisioned in grad school). But I was happy and it turned out well.<br>
Thirty years later, I’m in a profession that I didn’t want back in the '80s and love it. Love living where I do. Love my now three children. There have been detours, life threatening illnesses, job losses, etc. none of which I would have predicted then.</p>
<p>Wow, 30 years ago I was a freshman in college and really didn’t think about my long term future. I knew I’d get my degree, but beyond that - nothing. I can say though after thirty years, I’m probably at a spot where I’m content - I have a wonderful husband and two great kids, but we do struggle financially even though we both work. Neither my husband or myself have jobs that make real money. He’s in retail (long hours - terrible pay) and I’m a clerical worker. So other than having a few more grey hairs worrying about how to stretch the paycheck, it’s all good. :)</p>
<p>Am I where I thought I’d be 30 years ago?</p>
<p>No, but my ideas of where I’d be were a jumble of “interesting career” and “kids” and “marriage” (in that order) and “travel” and of course, clothes and a house – typical unformed positive trajectory.</p>
<p>I never thought I’d be the breadwinner/mom. The demands of one role are often directly opposed to the demands of the other. It’s an unnatural combination – like items that never made it onto the breakfast menu – egg whites ‘n’ sausage. Quiche-on-a-roll. Sliced bananas with melted cheese.</p>
<p>Thirty years ago today I had been married exactly one week, and would move hundreds of miles from home three days later. I had 3 semesters of teaching under my belt. I thought I’d teach for a while, then have kids, didn’t know if I would stay at home.</p>
<p>Well, I never taught again. I went to law school. That H cheated; the marriage lasted 7 years. In a few days I will have lived in Texas for 30 years, I’ve been at my law firm for 26, married to H #2 for 21 years. Also the breadwinner mom.</p>
<p>But my life hasn’t gone how I expected it to even 5 years ago. Bright son from HS class of 09 not doing well in college-not even enrolled next semester. Economy tanked so practice pretty much in the toilet. Hopefully the next five years will bring an upswing in many aspects of my life.</p>
<p>Wow… 30 years ago, a dance major at an Ohio college, figuring that I might end up - nope, I didn’t look ahead at all! I had NO future plans. The next year, graduated and moved to Texas to visit my parents (who had moved while I was in school) and worked for Whole Foods as a cashier, then got married to a college drop-out cheese cutter/produce clerk there. Lived the frugal life as he went back to college, while both of us worked, raised two kids, attended grad school in library and information science together, bought bungalow, worked, I got laid off, so went back and got teaching certificate and began working as a school librarian, now teacher. Eventually, we decided to build a “green” house, with plans from architect father-in-law. Helped build said house. Our kids were, and are, a huge part of our lives, and we love and enjoy them so much. One 25, lives and works for a non-profit abroad (thank goodness for Skype), and one, 22, lives and works as an engineer, 3-hour drive away. Both are bright, kind, musical, and were lucky to attend a terrific university with great financial aid - lucky, since we had almost no college savings.<br>
I understand that we have been very, very, very blessed, and I am always waiting for the other shoe to drop! (Hence the screen name… ;))</p>
<p>Thirty years ago, I was 26 and married and already doing the kind of work that I still do. There had been a period of great uncertainty in my life, but by 26, it was over. </p>
<p>But at the time, I did not know whether or not my husband and I would have children. We didn’t make that decision until a few years later. Everything would have been different if the decision had been “no.”</p>
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<p>This is me, too … it too a long time for me to let go of that impression. Maybe that’s why I’ve always floundered career-wise.
Also, I always thought I’d be a lot better off financially. My husband has been in the same job since 1988 and it’s steady, but has never paid a lot. He doesn’t like it and is holding on until he can collect his Army Reserve pension and get something else part-time in a couple of years. I’ve been laid off three times since college and have never really realized my earning potential. I just hope I’m able to retire someday.</p>
<p>Let’s see. 30 years ago, I was a 26-year old lawyer, single and living in Manhattan, practicing commercial litigation at a New York City law firm. Now, I’m a 56-year old lawyer, single (divorced) and living in Manhattan, practicing commercial litigation at a (different) New York City law firm.</p>
<p>So none of that is really a surprise, although if I’d known back then that I was ever going to be married (which I certainly wasn’t sure of), I would have very much hoped that my marriage would be a good one and would last.</p>
<p>I probably wouldn’t have been surprised that my career wouldn’t end up being a successful one (at least by the standards of most of my Harvard Law School classmates!), and that I would never make partner anywhere, not only because I already knew that I didn’t exactly love what I did for a living, but because I already had the serious health problems that ended up preventing me from working the prolonged hours, over a period of many years, that would have been necessary. Although I didn’t know back then just how serious the problems would be, or how many times I would end up being hospitalized and how many times I’d end up having to have surgery over the next 30 years. </p>
<p>I certainly hoped back then to be a parent someday, and I already had a fondness for babies and small children, but I didn’t know that being a parent would turn out to be far and away the most important, most rewarding thing I would ever do in my life.</p>
<p>Since I was such a dyed-in-the-wool New Yorker, I would have been extremely surprised that I ended up living in New Jersey for 23 years until I finally moved back last year.</p>
<p>The biggest surprise, though, would have been that I was finally able, six years ago, to make my lifelong dream come true. I never, ever dreamed that something like that would be possible for an ordinary person like me, or that I would ever be able to live as myself. Thirty years ago, doing what I finally did was almost unheard of. And keeping one’s job afterwards was simply impossible.</p>
<p>So, in that sense, I am not where I thought I would be 30 years ago, and am very happy for it.</p>
<p>I was 20, and had just broken up with my college BF (we’d been best buddies since 9th grade, started dating my first break home from college). We both had discussed marriage, but he wanted me to quit school and wait tables while he went to grad school in Bloomington, Indiana, and stay home FT with kids. He was obsessed with my weight. I couldn’t articulate the panic I felt, but I wanted to balance a career and being a mom. I also wanted to head north. He and I got back together at the end of that summer, but it only lasted for another eight months. He is now on wife #3 and has grown up in some ways, but not in the ones that are important to me.</p>
<p>Met DH in April 1982. Got married in 1983; I worked while he went to grad school, then was home FT when the kids were small. Have spent the past 27 years in various shades of employment – PT, FT, all in the same career, but not the one I studied for in college. Did not expect to be diagnosed with leukemia at 41. Was definitely not sure I’d be here at 50. DH used to be all about balance between work and home, but is now a committed workaholic (he’s in the office today). He has grown hard and cold, and I am struggling what to do with that. Money-wise we are in a decent place, but we have always been on the same page financially, and have lived simply so that we could send the kids to the college of their choice.</p>
<p>Being a mom is the best thing I have ever done. Period. They are not perfect, but they are good people and know how to work hard. They take chances I never had the courage to try.</p>
<p>30 years ago, I was in my last year of law school and had clerked with a firm I really liked that I ended up working with for the next 5 years after moving back to HI. Up until that point, had thought I’d be happy living anywhere but decided there truly is “no place like home,” and am happy to have moved back to be close to extended family.</p>
<p>In the interim, have met & married the love of my life; just celebrated our 25th anniversary. Had two kids that have grown into young adults we love & find fascinating. Have had several careers along the way, leading to my current one which is a result of a wholly unexpected idiopathic health condition, causing me to found a non-profit and serve as its executive director over the past five years.</p>
<p>Overall, have been very happy with the interesting journey that has lead me to where I am today–many surprises, most of them happy ones. Can’t honestly say I envisioned starting and running a non-profit, the careers I had before the current one, or marrying the man I did, but did plan to have a family and am very happy. ;)</p>
<p>Not sure that 30 years ago I could have formulated what I thought my future would look like. I was in survival mode and trying desperately to get out of my small life and small town. I did get out and move on…</p>
<p>Looking back, mostly its been successful and gone well. But as Jimmy Buffett sings “some of its magic, some of its tragic…”</p>
<p>Thirty years ago I was 24 years old, married almost 1 year, working as a medical technologist and hoping to have 2 kids in my late 20’s. I planned on working outside the home and was thinking grad school. </p>
<p>H and I have now been married for almost 31 years. We do have the 2 kids, but did not start a family until we were in our 30’s and had the second child at 38. No grad school, but returned to undergrad to get a CPA. After several years in the accounting profession, I became a SAHM for 11 years, something I had never seen myself doing. Financially we are much better off than I had ever dreamed.</p>
<p>Thirty years ago, H was concerned about his father’s health. Happy to say FIL (a great guy) is still with us and is turning 79 this year, On the other hand, 30 years ago I would never have imagined that my then 27 year old strong, athletic, healthy brother would be diagnosed with ALS in his 40’s. He has been gone almost 10 years. Sometimes the things that you worry about never happen and then life hits you with something you never imagined…</p>
<p>Thirty years ago I was in the middle of architecture school. It was one of the most miserable years of my life, since my class was rather cliquey, my best friend there fell in love and didn’t have time to hang out as much with me, and my boyfriend (and eventual husband) was on the opposite coast. I think like all of us, I imagined myself being the next Frank Lloyd Wright. </p>
<p>What I didn’t know: </p>
<ol>
<li>Architecture is largely regional, it’s really, really hard to find a job in a far away city. This was true for summer work and afterwards. I should have gone to school where my boyfriend was.</li>
<li>In any event graduating in the middle of a recession is pretty awful. The biggest NYC firm laid off 300 people the week we graduated.</li>
<li>Having kids is not compatible with the working hours young successful architects are expected to put in. (Luckily I was in Germany for my first kid and got paid leave.)</li>
<li>Trying to coordinate two careers is not easy, and frankly it made more sense for me to make more compromises. One of which was going and spending five years in Munich, fun but not helpful for a linear career! After kids my compromise was to work half time and I spent about seven years working for an interior designer, though we did a fair amount of work that was really architectural.</li>
<li>Turned out I was pretty good as a community leader - PTA president, Art Association president, involved in various efforts to beautify our city. </li>
<li>Running my own small architecture business turned out to work out much better than I expected. (It was a complete accident triggered by a long time babysitter quitting and my current boss driving me crazy.) Pretty flexible hours and dh could do kid duty evenings and weekends when most residential clients wanted to see me.</li>
</ol>
<p>So far I’ve only done one house completely from scratch. I really hope some day I’ll be able to do another one. But additions and renovations have served me well and kept me busy even in a down economy.</p>
<p>The one thing I never thought we’d do is live in the suburbs, but here we are. It’s an inner fairly urban suburb, but it’s not NYC. But the rest, we both have jobs in our fields, we are still married, we have two great kids. No complaints!</p>
<p>I don’t think 30 years ago, I cared what I would be 30 years later. All my family members are underachievers, we don’t take well to too much stress. The only good thing is that we are all still married to the same spouse.</p>
<p>30 years ago I had just finished Navy boot camp after dropping out of college. I was working my way through school but ran out of steam as I was always working more than studying, and found that I was just not connected with the campus scene and not sure what I wanted to do in life. After finishing boot camp, my dreams for the future had pretty much been stomped out by the demands of the immediate, and I was struggling to even imagine ever being able to finish college. </p>
<p>I never imagined the life I ended up with. At the end of my four years in the Navy I was dating an attorney and I think my friends all thought we would get married, but instead we broke up and I met an itinerant skier/carpenter/bartender who called himself a “bum” and married him instead. (You can’t imagine the pushback I got from my “friends”. I quit speaking to most of them as a result) He was an unpolished gem – still unpolished 25 years later, and still a gem. Hardest working guy I’ve ever met – he put me through the rest of college and then through grad school. We had three amazing kids and just celebrated our 25 year wedding anniversary. I am the major breadwinner in our home but he has always held a steady job and together we have done well enough to put our first two kids through school (state schools, not private) without them having to take out loans. So all in all, my life has been better than I could have imagined 30 years ago, and I am thankful every day for this wonderful life and the people I love.</p>