It was very important to one of my kids to have a prenup. It was always the plan and had been before they met their spouse. First marriage.
Older, mid 30’s, had worked for a decade plus.
Aunt and uncle had gone through a very contentious divorce a few years before. Lots of litigation. Messy, still messy to this day. This was a reason but not the only reason.
It was important to have one to protect assets. Whether or not it’s a thing between their friends, no idea.
Maybe if one knows they will be inheriting eventuality, unless that inheritance is already protected
The funny thing for my kid is that they grew up very middle class. No inheritance at all to think of
Their spouse is equally middle class.
Where they got this idea for a prenup is anyone’s guess but it’s always been important to them to have one.
I do think it’s important if there is a big imbalance in assets, debts, parental wealth, inheritance, etc… If things are pretty equal financially going into the relationship, then I don’t think it’s necessary. I already feel strongly about my daughter having one when if/when she marries some day.
My very good friend is in her mid 60’s & has never married. She has been in a committed relationship with a man who has adult children & a teenager for a couple years. If they eventually marry, they will absolutely have a pre-nup. It would be a mistake not to, given their particular situation.
When I was growing up, people just didn’t get divorced. As an adult, a lot of my old friends’ parents did get divorced, and it was a financial burden for some. I have a couple friends now who live separate lives from their spouses, but they won’t get divorced for financial reasons. What I am noticing now is that many young people get divorced after a few years, rather than later … maybe they understand how much more devastating it can be financially if they wait.
We have never discussed prenup or not with DD and son in law. That’s their business, not ours. If they had asked advice, we might have had a conversation about this, but they did not. So…in this case…we have no idea.
I gave my son a substantial amount for a down payment for his house. I brought up if we should have a contract as that would be a loan rather than a gift. He explained that it wouldn’t make any difference and just assume that we leave it as a gift who knows
I got married at 21 and divorced at 29. Both sides had urged a prenup, but we refused. Our divorce was not run of the mill and was pretty contentious due to what was involved. I can tell you that I would have gotten totally screwed if we had gone with a standard prenup, as it probably wouldn’t have taken into consideration all of the job hopping I had to do and the promotions I turned down to give my ex the opportunity to graduate from a top MBA program known for huge signing bonuses (while I financially supported him) and move up in his career. Luckily, our judge wasn’t taking any BS and I walked away with what I deserved. The judge even asked if I wanted more and when I said I was fine, he insisted I make ex pay for my grad school that I had put off to support him.
All that to say, if you get married young, I’m not sure you could actually anticipate how life will unfold as you both start your careers. I’ve also been told that children can not be written into a prenup if they don’t exist yet, so often prenups have to be rewritten down the road. It’s my understanding that if you do prenup, that you can add a clause that it gets updated every so many years . While I think that’s a wise decision, it seems like something that can cause a bunch of issues as well
How do couples where one has a lot of student debt handle that? I have a relative who ended up paying off his wife’s massive loans, much to the great worry of his parents. She was a bit older (late 30s), and they are still married, so all ended well, but there was concern at the outset that the union might have been “strategic”.
I feel like even people early in their careers (so have not earned a lot of money yet), can have some complicated finances that influence getting a pre-nup - student loan debt, potential future large inheritance, other debt (credit card, medical, etc.), parents gifting money or helping to buy real estate, etc.
I heard about one case where pre-nup items got into a variety of topics regarding future possibility of stay-at-home parenting etc. impacting earnings.
My D and SIL married the week that they were graduating from med school. The only thing they both had were huge med school loans, so no prenup.They were broke together.
One of my kids is married. They were both mid-20s, and they did a pre-nup. He is a big saver, and had a significant (to him) amount saved. I am pretty sure their pre-nup covered 4 areas, including inheritances, but I don’t know what the other areas were.
If their case both sets of parents had divorced, which may or may not have influenced them. Her family has very little money, and rest assured mine did not have “$100,000 private college advisors” (or even SAT tutoring - lol).
My step-d purchased a home with her now fiance. We strongly suggested (to both of them) they do an agreement related to what would happen re:the house if they split up. Her mother apparently also made that suggestion, but I suspect they never did anything.
MIne were married at 26 and 35+; no prenups. DIL2 bought a house on her own before they were married and after the wedding they had it legally put in both their names.
None of my 6 nieces/nephews had prenups. My sibling remarried in their 50’s and had a prenup at his new spouse’s request, to demonstrate to the kids that nobody was after anybody’s things.
I do know that many younger married couples have separate bank accounts, which I am not a fan of. But seems to be the standard, now.
We have had separate bank accounts for over 40 years. It was the norm among professional couples in the small midwestern city where we lived.
Why not a fan? Our IRA’s, social security contributions, etc all separate (by law). What is so special about a bank?
It may be that my and DIL put in something about their retirement savings and what would happen if/when they had a kid. I suspect that if they have a kid and things change much they will revisit the pre-nup.
My current H and I didn’t do a pre-nup, but maybe we should have. We did come to terms related to how our house would be handled in the event of separation. I put more $$ in, and I had two kids living with us, so it was important to me that I could keep the house while they were still living in it.
H and I also have separate bank accounts. We have a joint account, as well. Being a child of the era when women didn’t have the same access to credit as they do now, I made sure that I had my own bank account, credit cards in my own name, etc.
S has a ton of finances that he keeps separate from DIL and gets a lot of CCards since he likes the points & all he does with them. He files their joint tax return on turbotax.
We have, “yours, mine,” and, “ours,” across bank and investment accounts.
Our ds is not married. Idk if his friends who are married have done them or not.
Also a fan of the his, mine and ours arrangement. I remember when ds2 was a teen he said how he didn’t like that arrangement. lol He was such a romantic. Thankfully, he’s come around to seeing the beauty in the set-up.