<p>It is absolutely true that h and I would not get into our alma maters today, which for h was a top ivy and for me was an “elite” university. The level of selectivity in colleges compared to what they used to be is the single issue we are having the most trouble wrapping our brains around. Well that and the fact that our oldest, a hs junior, is not as high an achiever as we were to begin with. So it’s kind of a double whammy: first we have to accept that he will be applying to the schools that the B/B+ kids get into rather than the A kids, then we have to accept that what were schools for the B/B+ kids back in our day are now schools for A kids. We’re now in foreign territory, exploring schools that we are not even slightly familiar with. I arrived at acceptance a while ago, probably because I’ve spoken to enough other parents , gone to enough college planning meetings, spent enough time on these message boards to grasp the reality of the situation. Also I have no particular affinity for my alma mater, and no particular agenda for my kids’ college choices other than to find them each a place where they will thrive and come out on the other side ready to be a productive member of society.</p>