Such wise words of wisdom out there 'cause this happens ALL THE TIME!
Hopefully what we say to our kids helps show our empathy and also empowers them to move beyond the disappointment. At this tender age, resiliency may be even more important to learn than trig or some other subject.
Comments like “Life is not fair, get used to it” are thoughtless and painful. . . though the sediment may be more true than wished. Discussions before application time hopefully included the concepts of what a great/good match is, the gamble vs surer thing, $, etc.
My son is in his last year of a five year CS major at RIT. I recently asked him what he had learned or what advice did he have from the whole application process that might benefit his younger brother, now a senior. He spoke of the importance of MATCH and went on to discuss the general: “feel like I fit here” aspect of the college/university, the administration, what students enrolled in the department or major he was hoping to study, AND the likely total of student debt one would have on their shoulders upon graduation. . . along with the usual factors we all think of.
He was admitted to Carnegie Mellon, his perfect match with everything BUT the $. They weren’t willing to give him a penny; where as RIT made a very generous offer. At the time it pained him terribly to turn down the admission offer and I cried! But, he and we decided that having over $100,000 in undergrad student loan burdon was not workable. He knew he would be going on to get advanced degrees and hoped to have those paid for by the graduate schools.
Presently, he feels he made the right decision because he found his place academically and socially . . . but we never do get to know how things would have turned out if he had selected the more prestigious school. . . just like in life with most of our decisions!
May the pain diminish as quickly as possible and our kids’ resiliency help them move forward to finding a hell of a good alternative.